11 December 2020

The Selectively Social Writer

This blog is supposed to be about writing.  My last posting was about cemeteries, which we sometimes use as settings here in New Orleans, so I got away with the posting.

My wife has been buying me T-shirts with printing in front for the last few years and she manages to nail my quirks and personality traits. Her latest is the most revealing. It is me as a writer today –

"I'm not anti-social. I am selectively social. There's a difference."

Here's a sequel of sorts –

"You read my shirt. That's enough social interaction for one day."

And more – 

"Historical fiction writer: I'd find you more interesting if you were dead."

"My life is based on a true story."

"I don't like going outside. It's too PEOPLEY out there."

"First of all, NO. Second of all, NO."

"Careful, or you'll end up in my novel."

"Where ever ya go, there ya are."

"If I ignore you, will you go away?"

Harking back to my law enforcement days – 

"I speak fluent sarcasm."

"I'm not always rude and sarcastic … sometimes I'm asleep."

"It only takes one slow-walking person in the store to destroy the illusion I'm a nice person."

"I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you."

"My people skills are fine. It's my tolerance of stupidity that needs work."

"Sarcasm. The body's natural defense against stupidity."

"People who think they know everything, annoy those of us that do."

"Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions."

Back to my writing life. Now that I'm retired and write full time in my home office. I take naps.

"I already want to take a nap tomorrow."

"If you love someone, let them nap."

"I have a date with my bed tonight ... and we're totally going to sleep together."

Jeffty showing me how to nap

Lastly, this one is for me, the husband –

"WARNING: Poor Listener." (illustrated below)

Which brings me back to the topic of this posting – the selectively social writer. I tell people I'm not a recluse but I play one in real life. This is why the lockdown and social distancing we're in now does not bother me. When I was young, I was social. When I was young, I went out a lot, even to church. Today I'm selectively social and a non-practicing Catholic. No need to practice. I've got it down pat.

Which is why you don't find me at high mass or many writer's gatherings. Y'all have fun. Do all the things a writer should do. I'm done. I write. That's it. I'm a selectively social writer.

That's all for now. Y'all stay safe.



  1. I had great fun reading those quotes. You have a wife to cherish. (not selectively, please.)

  2. Naps are a way writers - and maybe cats- get ideas.

  3. Hey, I needed a post exactly like this one, today. Well said!!

  4. Love some of the quotes. I'm probably going to steal them and call it "research."
    I'm with you on the social distancing, too. It's strange that I was so actively involved in theater for nearly 30 years, but now, with the lockdown, I don't miss going out at all. It gives me more time to (not) write.

    Stay safe, everyone.

  5. "I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you."
    That's just GOLD. Thanks, O'Neil.

  6. Perfect timing to read this, O'Neil. Great quotes. Thank you.

    At my advanced age (47 ... with dyslexia), I love napping and apply Apple's motto/slogan every afternoon: "There's a nap for that."

  7. Love each and every one of these!

  8. I could get every one of those for my husband—except when I gave him the one that said LEAVE ME ALONE in giant letters, he got more attention than he could bear as we walked down crowded Columbus Avenue in NYC. Finally a guy leaned out a car window and yelled, "The world's gonna f*** with you anyway, buddy!" My husband spun around, headed for home, took off the T-shirt (haven't seen it since), and hasn't come out of the apartment since. Pandemic? This was decades ago...

  9. I have one that says, "Assuming I'm just an old lady was your first mistake," and another that says, "Underestimate me! That'll be fun." But my favorite T-shirt of all says, "This is what 60 looks like. Eat your heart out!" I was in my late 40s when I got it, been wearing it ever since 😎

  10. Oh, I so identify. Deb is brilliant, O'Neil. Peopley had me laughing out loud as did Elizabeth with her 60 T-shirt she wore at age 40. I love it.

  11. Glad y'all enjoyed the post. Some good writers wrote those logos and I'm happy to wear them. Thanks for the comments. Y'all stay safe.


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