Showing posts with label silly. Show all posts
Showing posts with label silly. Show all posts

05 January 2014

What's in a Name?


by Leigh Lundin

Many common names today have their roots in long ago medieval trades. This is true of non-English names including French, Germanic, and Jewish names. They’re called occupational names and English examples include:

Bailey
Baker
Barber
Butcher
Butler
Carter
Carver
Chandler
Coleman
Collier
Cooper
Dexter
Dyer
Farmer
Fisher
Fletcher
Forester
Harper
Hooper
Hunter
Mason
Miller
Palmer
Rider
Sawyer
Shepard
Shoemaker
Singer
Skyler
Smith
Spenser
Steward
Tanner
Taylor
Thatcher
Tucker
Turner
Tyler
Weaver
Wheeler

Aptonyms

Many years ago, a columnist for the Orlando Sentinel published what he called ‘aptonyms’, unintentional and usually ironic names that matched (more or less) their occupations, such as Butcher’s Mortuary in Knightstown, Indiana, or Brownie’s Septic Service here in Orlando. In googling today, I see this term has been picked up by others. In fact, there was a Canadian Aptonym Centre. Remember, these few examples are real people and real occupations.

Alex Woodhouse
Brian Coates
Chad Hacker, Jr
Cherish Hart
Chris Fotos
Dan Langstaff
Darin Speed
David Bird
Debi Humann
Dr. Knapp
Dr. Robert Scarr
Ellen Fair
Helen Painter
Janet Moo
Jardin Wood
Jeff Kitchen
Jennifer English
Jessi Bloom
Jim Lawless
Jim Playfair
Joanie Hemm
Joe Puetz
architectural designer
paint company manager
IT professional
American Heart Association
owner of portrait studio
district court bailiff
vintage Mustangs collector
ornithologist
human resources director
anesthesiologist
internal medicine physician
county superior court judge
artist
stockyard packer accountant
arborist for tree care
chef and caterer
H.S. English teacher
landscaping company owner
assistant police chief
hockey coach
leader of sewing program
golf pro

Karl Bench
Kestrel Skyhawk
Kevin Sill
Linda Savage
Lorraine Read
Marvin Lawless
Matt Drumm
Michael Laws
Mike Blackbird
Mike Inks
Nita House
Norm Mannhalter
Penny Coyne
Randall Sinn
Raymond Strike
Robert Marshall
Roch Player
Sandi Cash
Scott Constable
Sonia Shears
Travis Hots
Tyce Tallman
county judge
wildlife center educator
window shop owner
etiquette specialist
bookstore owner
undersheriff
professional percussionist
lawyer
Audubon Society officer
graphic designer
real estate agent
security supervisor
United Way
pastor for Lutheran church
union leader
fire marshal
geotechnical engineer
accountant
policeman
hairdresser
fire department chief
basketball player

Buffoonery

I pay a lot of attention to the names of my characters, origin, ethnicity, sound, and especially meaning. James Lincoln Warren took note of this in my short story ‘English’. I even developed tools to harvest name information from the web and built a database to help pick names.

At one time, I considered writing a childish farce with comedic names. This sort of thing has to be done adeptly because it’s too easy to overshadow the story with distraction. Ian Fleming barely got away with some of his names like Pussy Galore, which easily could be mistaken for a porn star. And the porn industry is quite a catchall for such monikers like Seymour Butts.

A couple of names work best together, e.g, Willie Maquette, Betty Woant. Others sound like someone might unwisely use them in real life, i.e, Sam's Peck 'n' Paw pet shop.

Names and occupations I’ve considered are:

Al Dente
Ben Dover
Billy Reuben
Blanche Nutt
Claude Butts
Jean Poole
Jerry Manders
Kerry de le Gaj
chef
proctologist
has a lot of gall
flapper girl
lion tamer
biologist
politician
concierge

Lotta Goode
Miss Pickle
Papa Bennett
Patty Cache
Percy Flage
Polly Esther
Ruby Lith
Willie Evalurn
charity worker
spinster poisoner
suffers Peyronie's syndrome
clerk
English vaudeville comedian
seamstress
graphic arts designer
incompetent recidivist

In a similar vein, Cate Dowse suggested a pair of kneecapping mob enforcers might be called the Patella brothers. I should explain the underlying words for a few of the above names are rubylith (masking film), persiflage (mocking banter), and mispickel (the mineral arsenic is obtained from).

Following are more I didn’t originate, but with my own thoughts on occupations:

Andover Hand
Anita Job
Ann Thracks
Arthur Itis
Bill Jerome Home
N. Buddy Holme
Faye Slift
Frances Lovely
Helen Earth
Howard I. Kno
Ima Dubble
Jim Nasium
Kareem O’Wheat
Kurt Repligh
mountain climber
headhunter
femme fatale
old codger
contractor
Jehovah’s Witness
model
travel agent
untamed shrew
clueless
twin
fitness trainer
Irish/Muslim cook
radio host

Leah Tard
Lucy Lastick
Lynn O’Leum
M. T. Wurds
Nora Lender Bee
Ollie Luya
Russell Leeves
Scott Linyard
Sid Downe
Sue Flay
Teresa Green
Tobias A. Pigg
Warren Pease
Wayne Dwops
ballerina
lingerie model
flooring salesgirl
salesman
not a borrower
choir singer
landscaper
detective
and shuddup
sous-chef
another landscaper
marketing guru
author
weatherman

What are your names and occupations?