03 June 2018

Hot Spot


I’ve fallen off the grid. Unintentionally. No T-Mobile, No AT&T, no Virgin Wireless, no voice mail, no cell phone. Also no email, no web, no internet access. Neither of my phones nor my computer work. Both fruitlessly scan for radio signals, not picking up even a blip, not even alien static from distant Roswell.
phone, no bars

I didn’t plan it this way. I’m spending five weeks in Arizona. Tomorrow I visit the Grand Canyon, but here in the town of Gunsmoke in Holyshiteitshot County in eastern Arizona, the telegraph bypassed the town, never mind Pony Express and the telephone. When I enquired about a hotspot, bemused residents said, “It’s 109°F in May. How damn hot do you want it?”

109°F… Here F, usually preceded by a plosive ‘holy’, stands for a word other than Fahrenheit, usually heard when sliding into a rental car seat. I never knew leather could melt. Steering wheels appear inspired by paintings of Salvador DalĂ­. Truthfully, the steel door handle of a downtown restaurant is wrapped with pipe insulation and electrical tape, presumably after a few people involuntarily left skin samples.

Century Link is establishing a presence in the county seat. When I enquired, they said, “Congratulations, you qualify for high-speed internet.” They went on to define ‘high speed’ as 3Mbps, the approximate walking speed of a one-legged dog. Computers think data rates that slow mean the internet is broken. Compare 3Mbps to my suddenly much less despised Spectrum/Brighthouse ISP at 100Mbps or even optional 1000Mbps if that’s too slow.

100-1g Mbps

At 3Mbps, news can take a long time to crawl through copper wires. Folks asked about rumors a black man had been hired in the White House. They seemed politely dubious when I said more like a weird orange.

As for my computer, I plugged it into a socket. The wiring exploded with a shower of sparks, barbecuing my power supply. This is what we call a ‘challenge’.

Knowing I had a SleuthSayers article due, kind people came together to help out. One lent an old laptop. When connected to the internet for the first time in eons, it launched into mass Windows 7 updates taking most of a 24-hour day and burning through the data allocation of that person’s telephone hotspot. At that point, another person stunned me by buying a new cell phone to provide a fresh hotspot. Folks are asking around for an old cell to lend me. Life is good.

But wait, there’s more.

FedEx delivered a new computer power supply. As before, neither of my phones can pick up a signal, this coming from a guy who for years refused to own any phone. The nearest AT&T tower is thirty miles in one direction, fifty in another. An internet solution remains questionable, but I’m not yet out of options. SleuthSayers’ Dixon Hill has invited me to stop in, and Scottsdale definitely has internet and phone service.

Life is good.

6 comments:

  1. rural living comes at a price. when we first moved to easter CT, we had to walk a quarter of a mile to the end of the road to get cell phone reception.

    Other than the heat, it does sound appealing.

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  2. Well, Leigh, that connected nicely with yesterday's post about the Twilight Zone...
    Janice is right, rural living has its disadvantages, and the main one is connectivity.
    Take care, and keep hydrated! More water! Always!

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  3. Leigh, you are not too far from a friend of ours in Yuma; his phone is always going out on him when he calls! :) And I'd feel utterly cut off without all the accoutrements of our selfie/update society! :)

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  4. And the big question is...did you feel stress by being cut off from the net? Or was it blessed relief and giddy joy, like I would feel? grin.
    We have a boat, because it's the only way I can get DH to disconnect. Love being out of touch, where no one can get me. Probably, this warrants seeing a shrink...

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  5. Sorry about your exile, Leigh. Since you apparently can get to SleuthSanders, I am going to leave you a personal message in the Sandbox.

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  6. I have fond memories of Arizona. I was stationed at Fort Huachuca near Tucson. Beautiful country and great food.

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