10 January 2013

Hello, My Lovely

by Robert Lopresti

Agatha Christie
said it was a myst'ry
what in the world you see in me.
Dashiell Hammett
said Goddamnit
you won't solve this one with a pot of tea.

Dorothy Sayers
turned to prayers
hoping for clues from worlds divine
Raymond Chandler
and David Handler
said oh lord, I wish that she were mine

Even Rex Stout
couldn't figure it out
so he turned the whole case over to Nero
Robert Parker
took a view much darker
and mumbled 'bout the state of the modern hero

Edgar Allan Poe
said he couldn't know
'cause all of his love affairs ended gory
Walter Mosley
says this ends coz'ly
but I prefer a hardboiled story

Ed McBain
and Mickey Spillaine
muttered some words about physical attraction
Ngaio Marsh
said don't be harsh
It's probably just an artistic reaction

Arthur Conan Doyle
said no need to roil
I'm sure that the answer is elementary
Amanda Cross
said who made you boss?
You're a dead white male from the nineteenth century

Then you come in
wearing a grin
and give me one of those looks.
There's method I see
and opportunity
but the motive doesn't show up in one of those books

What you see in me
that's a mystery
and I don't even have a clue.
But it would be a crime
if I'm
not glad you do.


  1. Great fun, Rob. Love it.
    Interestingly, I wrote a verse using writers and their creations, much along the same line. I sent it to EQMM. Rejected of course. I expect nothing less from them

  2. Ah, Rob, you are definitely a poet. Thanks for the great read.

  3. Thanks for the chuckle. I needed it.

  4. I met a sweet poet one day
    And suggested a roll in the hay
    But she replied, frowning:
    "I'm E. Barrett Browning
    Not Edna St Vincent Millay"

  5. What fun Rob. And quite good.

    And Zeke's limerick is hilarious.

  6. What fun Rob. And quite good.

    And Zeke's limerick is hilarious.

  7. There was supposed to be a photo of Christie at the top but it vanished. since my computer ded yesterday (now I m on an iPad) I can not fix it. Thanks for the kind words, all. zeke, I would still love to have you do a guest piece here.


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