said it was a myst'ry
what in the world you see in me.
you won't solve this one with a pot of tea.
turned to prayers
hoping for clues from worlds divine
and David Handler
said oh lord, I wish that she were mine
couldn't figure it out
so he turned the whole case over to Nero
took a view much darker
and mumbled 'bout the state of the modern hero
Edgar Allan Poe
said he couldn't know
'cause all of his love affairs ended gory
says this ends coz'ly
but I prefer a hardboiled story
and Mickey Spillaine
said don't be harsh
It's probably just an artistic reaction
Arthur Conan Doyle
said no need to roil
I'm sure that the answer is elementary
said who made you boss?
You're a dead white male from the nineteenth century
wearing a grin
and give me one of those looks.
There's method I see
but the motive doesn't show up in one of those books
What you see in me
that's a mystery
and I don't even have a clue.
But it would be a crime
not glad you do.