Advice for Writers Events

Recently our own Joseph Walker posed an interesting question on the Short Mystery Fiction Society list:

 In a few weeks I'm going to have a table at a local author event in my town. Specifically, I'll be one of 25 authors in the parking lot of the (awesome, btw) local indie bookstore, for four hours.

 I've certainly heard many horror stories from writers about attending such events and selling no books, or just one or two. So, any advice? How do I make the most out of this? I'll have about 20 copies of my collection, and I've got a little banner to display on the table and bookmarks to give out. What else can I do?

I thought it was a great question, and of particular interest to me because I will be at a similar event next month.  Joe got many responses and with his permission and that of the other writers, I am sharing some with you.

Chris Dreith: Since it's going to be held outside, have a patio umbrella or a tent constructed over your table. If it's an umbrella, make sure it's a bright color. They are a hassle to set up, but make sure it's weighted at the base so it won't blow over.

 If it's a tent, bring something to hang from it, like a colorful flag, ribbons, or even a wind chime. Print the cover of your book on a sheet to hang behind you. Make yours different. (Don't forget to bring tools. Stapler, plastic ties, cords, carabiners, whatever you need.)

Bring heavy items to hold down papers, etc if it is windy. These items could also be used as conversation starters. Maybe a heavy brass dog holding down a K9 book or a piece of granite for a mountain based mystery. 

 Position your table so it is in the shade, but also you and possible buyers are also in the shade.

If you need to stay seated, bring a tall stool to park on so you are at more eye level with people who pass by. 

Get away from the back of the table often to view it from the passerby's viewpoint. Keep it clean and organized (that shows pride in your work).

If you have someone seated at your table with you, don't spend your time talking with them. It's off-putting to try to get the salesperson's (in this case, the authors) attention if they are deep in conversation with someone else seating behind the 'barrier' table.

Wear something comfortable for the weather but make it unique and memorable. Top hat? Colorful vest? Print the cover of your book on a T-shirt. 

Wear a name tag.

Smile. Look folks in the eye. Talk to them. You don't have to ask the same opening questions that everyone else does. (What do you like to read?) Take into consideration the person's facial expression and body language. For example, you might find something different to say to a young parent pushing a baby carriage and another kid stuck in a backpack compared to an older person pushing a cart carrying a poodle with a bow.

 Have a bag ready for trash. Keep your table and space around it clean.

 You can have the cover of your book printed on candy wrappers. (Contact me for info). A friend of mine prints a cookie recipe on a card with her book cover on the opposite side, puts said cookie and card in a clear bag with a ribbon to close the top. I somehow don't see you doing that (she has help from her daughter's Girl Scout troop. LOL) but if you do decide to bring any type of food, make sure it is approved by the organizers.

Make sure your swag is unique enough to keep. 

Understand what your goal is. If it is to sell many books, you will need to cause enough of a stir that folks will buy from you instead of wandering around to buy from someone else or going into the bookstore. Maybe reduce the price of your books  (slightly) than what the bookstore charges? Offer a 2 for 1? Offer to appear at a local bookclub for free (they don't need to know you might not charge anyway). Cause some action. 

If your goal is to get known, consider printing up a calendar of where you might be appearing. A library, a zoom presentation, etc. Have a sign up sheet for your newsletter.

Susan Oleksiw: The tables I’ve seen (and done myself) that have the most traffic (if not the most sales) have a table cloth, candy, and even flowers—something to draw people in and give them something to ask about or look at before they remember it’s about books and writing. You can even invite people to sign up for your newsletter or enter their name in a jar for the chance to win one of your books (a freebie!). 

Linda Kay Hardie: Stay alert and interested. Engage with the folks walking by. Like, "Hi, what do you like to read?" or "Hi, we're all local authors, signing and selling our books," or "Hi, this is my collection of short mystery [or crime, whatever] stories. Would you like a free bookmark?"   

Many people don't know what's going on, no matter how much publicity the authors and the bookstore have done.

 Chat with anyone who slows down. If they stop at your table, hand them your book. Tell them a funny [or strange or interesting] anecdote about how you came to write/publish one of the stories. 

 If they answer your question about what they like to read, pitch one of your stories. "You like westerns? My story in here called [title] is a western murder mystery set in Pahrump, Nevada."

 And this time of year: "Books make great gifts. It's not too early. Do you know a reluctant reader? Short stories are good because they're quick to read." And then pitch. If their teen grandson doesn't read much, mention a story he might like ("Thieves use video games to plan a bank robbery."). Or granddaughter. Or brother-in-law.

Kristen Gibson: Try to take a few minutes before the event to meet the bookstore staff and other authors, chat or ask visitors about their interests to see if it matches something you've written or even another author's at the event-others may then be encouraged to send someone your way.  

Bobbi Chukran: Make sure they know you’re local. Put a little sign on your table “Signed Copies by Local Author.”

Steve Liskow:  I prefer to join events with no more than five or six other authors (preferably in different genres so there's less competition) but that's no guarantee. Last month, I was at an outside event with 80 (yes) authors and sold eight books. 

I  have my bio and author picture in a picture frame.

I wouldn't have candy or flowers because your books aren't cozy or children's books. It's the wrong tone.

Since you're going to be outside for four hours, wear a hat and bring sunglasses. Bring a few hard candies or a protein bar, and maybe a water bottle. 

When you arrive, be sure to find out  where the bathroom is.

You should have a chip reader and Venmo or PayPal on your phone. Also bring lots of dollar bills for change. I price my books at a dollar amount including tax so nobody has to deal with coins. 

Noreen M. Cedeño: I have been at events where authors displayed a QR code leading to purchase links with the URL to their website listed beneath the code. A certain percentage of people will take a photo of the link or will use the QR code to buy the book online. I was surprised by the number of people who pulled out their phones for the QR code.  

 All you have to do is print a sheet of paper with your QR code and website link and place it on the table (or in a clear plastic flyer stand if you have one). 

Kevin R. Tipple: If you are doing the QR code thing, have something that announces your actual internet link. Many of us do not QR anything.

 James H. Lewis: I found at my last event that keeping people at my table who were NOT buying my books created interest in others. ("If there’s someone always at his table, his books must be interesting.") 

 

James M. Jackson: Before things start, get to know a bunch of authors placed near you, so when you ask what people like to read, and it isn't something you write, you can point them in the right direction -- some authors will get the idea and point people your way (also you get to know someone to watch your table when you have to use the facilities). 

I rarely sit down, except to inscribe a book. It's easier to engage people if you are standing at their level. If I can catch their eye, I have permission to speak.

 

Dave Zeltserman: Bring your Edgar Award nomination certificate. It will be a good conversation starter and should attract some attention.

 Be friendly, talk to people, but don't be pushy.

 Teresa Inge:  I keep small swag bags on my table, bookmarks, a table runner with my logo, and my books on a table top book rack from Amazon. I also keep my table items simple since it’s just easier for me. One note, sometimes anthologies and short stories are a hard sell but I never let that deter me. I have a standard response when readers tell me they either don’t like or have never read a short story. I let them know with short stories they can read a couple in one setting, get to know the characters and outcome, and discover new authors that they might have never read before! They usually buy from me but I think it’s also a connection between the author and reader. 

 Judy Penz Sheluk: Sometimes you'll sell a lot of books. Sometimes you'll sell none. As long as you've made connections with readers, networked with other authors, consider it a success. You never know where a chance meeting will lead. Case in point. Many moons ago, starting out, I did Word on the Street (huge event) in downtown Toronto. It took me 90 minutes to get there (no train service on Saturdays from the town I lived in at the time). Paid $35 for parking. Sold 1 book where my profit was about $10. But the author next to me was Nate Hendley, who later became a multiple award-winning true crime author. I won't say we became friends, but we made a connection that lasted. Fast forward 8 years and Nate offered to blurb my true crime coming out later this month. 

John A. Tures: 1) Bookmarks are great. I designed my own! Make sure you have that QR code on them, and that it works.

 2) For my table display, since I am writing about a fictional third-party movement, I display political ties and buttons. I have patrons come over just to check it out, for politics interests and because it's unique. Having something different does catch peoples' eyes,

 3) Just tell yourself "I am here to sell three books, finding three devoted fans." Your chances of selling 10 are better that way. If you tell yourself "I won't be happy unless I sell at least six," you'll be lucky to sell 1-2.

 4) Keep track of their contact info, with their permission. It's good for selling sequels.

 5) I ask about taking selfies with buyers. I get a lot of takers. But I'm a shameless extrovert.

 6) As always, remember why you're doing it all. My wife, who has stuck with me throughout this, and is very supportive of my writing and a great helper, is now mostly wheelchair-bound. I hope to make enough from sales to take her on one last vacation abroad, before it's too late. So each time I pack up my 2004 Chrysler at 6am with a load of boxes of books, I remember what it's all for, let her sleep in, and do my best to make some readers happy too in the process.

MB Dabney: It doesn't hurt to have a bowl of candy. But always tell kids they must ask their parents before they can have any.

Roger Johns: (1) try to get a position on what will be to the customers' right, as they approach the selling area. Most people are right handed and tend to look to their right as they enter a space, so you're likelier to engage readers from a position on their right, as they approach. And near the door—it's a natural stopping point—where you'll have a chance to engage them, before they've made their purchase decisions.

 (2) Have a short, interesting pitch you can deliver while you’ve got their attention, and a closer to help them decide in your favor, if they haven’t made a decision by the time you sense the contact is coming to an end, such as: “If you have a friend/loved one who reads ——-, an autographed book makes a great gift”. 

 (3) Don’t sign your books with the same signature you use to sign your checks. And if they want the book inscribed to a particular recipient, ask how the name is spelled, before you write it in the book.  Bring a narrow point Sharpie, breath mints, and hand sanitizer. Consume liquids sparingly. 

 (4) Some folks like to talk to authors, but don’t buy books, so if a long talker is keeping others from approaching you, have a polite way to move them along.

 Robert Lopresti: Does all this good advice make you want to join the Short Mystery Fiction Society? It's free!  Click here to sign up.  And when you get up to a certain level of popularity, you can do  this at author events:

The Writing Life?

The rest of my year is shaping up with a lot of writing-related events. Or is it?  

When I attend Left Coast Crime I try to arrange to give a brief talk about the Brubaker case.  (The nutshell version: This guy stole tens of thousands of publications from 100+ libraries and my university was the one that caught him, after more than a year of investigating.) Chris Dreith attended the chat I did this year and invited me to speak, via zoom, to the Sacramento chapter of Sisters on Crime on October 17, 4 PM Eastern time..  It's free to the public, if you are interested.  You can register here.

Then in November I will have a table at Open Book, an event sponsored by Whatcom County Library System.  If I'm lucky I might sell a few books there.  In any case it will be fun. I have attended it twice, but never as an author.  I always learn something there. 

 

 

Every month the Wolfe Pack has a monthly zoom discussion  of Rex Stout's books. This December  the subject is Gambit and I have been invited to talk about it because I wrote an article about it in the long-gone journal The Armchair Detective.  (My only published literary criticism, actually.)

I'm looking forward to all of these events but I recently realized: all of these are writing-related, but none of them are writing.

These days if you want to have what I will laughingly call a career in writing you have to spent as much time promoting your stuff as you do creating it.  The time I am spending perfecting my speech on Brubaker is time I am not spent putting words onto an electronic page.  

When I started planning to write this piece (which, ahem, is also not going to earn me any money) I thought it would be a complaint.  However...

Whenever I give a talk about the Brubaker theft someone always asks: Have you written any fiction about it?  I have always replied: No, I don't want to give that bad man any more room in my skull.

But this week I thought of a way to write a short story based on the theft.  So, sometimes the publicity machine can crank up the writing machine.  And so the great circle of life is maintained.  Hoping you the same.

Old Myths, New Stories

If you read this space regularly you may be aware that I am a fan (is that the right word?) of mythology, especially the Greco-Roman variety. I think I was probably six or seven when I discovered d'Aulaire's book of Greek myths and switched from drawing dinosaurs to gorgons and Pegasus.

But what does that have to do with mystery fiction?  Well, there are, of course, gazillion mysteries set in the classical period.  More importantly, it is easy to argue that Sophocles' play Oedipus Rex is the first mystery, beating Poe to the post by a couple of millennium. It contains: a murder, a detective, a Watson, the interrogation of suspects, and the "least likely" murderer.

Our first trip to Greece a few years ago inspired me to write a fantasy-crime story called "The Gate of Hades," which involved the legendary cave through which Theseus, Orpheus, and Heracles all snuck into the underworld  It appeared in the late lamented Mystery Magazine two years ago.

More recently I began thinking about Charon, the ferryman who takes souls across the river Styx. Specifically I pondered one question I had always had about the gentleman.  I wrote a story in which my question got answered but several fantasy magazines turned it down.

Gate of Hades

Hmm. My forte has always been mysteries so could I somehow move the story into that genre?

I did.  I actually left the beginning and end of the story almost untouched but in the middle Charon helps one of the passengers solve his own murder.  The result is "The Crossing," which appears in Crime Before Our Time, which was published yesterday.

But I have a complaint. I've made three trips to Greece but have only gotten two stories out of it so far, which doesn't seem fair. And none for the trip to Egypt! Perhaps I need to make a sacrifice or two to some deities.  Where did I leave that ceremonial ax?

By Way of Introduction

Back in July Joseph Walker wrote a piece on an interesting subject: Which book would you choose to introduce a new reader to a favorite author?  Not which is the best novel, or which is your favorite, but which book should a reader start with?

Here is my take on it.  I will start with two where I agree with Joe.

Agatha Christie.  And Then There Were None.  As Joe suggests, anyone who thinks Christie=Cozy has never read this book.  It actually leans toward horror as you realize that 1) all the characters are nasty ranging to evil, and 2) all are doomed.  It is a masterpiece.

Sue Grafton. A is for Alibi.  Along with Sara Paretsky and Marcia Muller, with this novel Grafton birthed a thousand female private eyes.  Few are as good as Kinsey Milhone.  Grafton said she wrote this book to kill off an ex-husband, which may explain some of the passion in it. 

Next we move on to authors I love but from whom I selected a different book than Joe.

Rex Stout.  The Doorbell Rang.  Is it his best?  Maybe. It is certainly my favorite.  The book lifted both Stout and Nero Wolfe to a new level with the sheer audacity of the concept. At a time when half the politicians in the country were terrified of J. Edgar Hoover our heroes announce: "On behalf of a client we're going to push his nose in. Just a routine chore, but he's touchy and will try to stop us. So futile."  The nose was a metaphor, by the way. The plot is not his strongest, but plot is not why we reread this guy's books.   The dialog and characterization (a bottle of milk comes to mind) are unforgettable.

Donald E. Westlake. The Hot Rock.  Joe chose Drowned Hopes and I admit that what I call the middle- period Dortmunder books are wonderfully complex, but why not start where it all began?  John Dortmunder is an incredibly unlucky (don't call him incompetent!) thief and in this book he has to steal an emerald, then free the associate who got caught with it, then break into the place it was hidden it, etc. etc.  As one character says "I have heard of the habitual criminal but never the habitual crime." Hilarious.

Richard Stark. Butcher's Moon.  Stark=Westlake, although Westlake said the Stark books only used part of the keyboard.  Dortmunder is in effect the reverse of Parker and in this novel we see a bit of the thief's philosophy.  Gangsters catch Parker's associate and threaten to dismember him if our antihero won't play along.  He does, but not for the reasons you might expect.  A very gory introduction to the amoral thief.

Lawrence Block. Eight Million Ways to Die.  Joe picked When the Sacred Ginmill Closes, a choice I fully understand, but I would jump back one novel.  To my mind, these two, plus the last book in the series  A Drop of the Hard Stuff, (published 25 years later!), form a trilogy and are the strongest of the novels.  Together they show ex-cop, sometime-private eye Matt Scudder at the end of his drinking days, the beginning of his sobriety, and at the difficult first anniversary.  

I would include Ed McBain except, truth to tell, I have trouble telling the books apart in my memory.  My favorites are the ones where minor character Fat Ollie Weeks - good detective and lousy human being - starts on a remarkable journey of self-discovery.

Moving on to authors Joe did not include...

Thomas Perry. Dance For The Dead.  Ooh, this was a hard one.  To my mind his best novel, and my favorite, is Island, a hilarious book about con artists who accidentally create a sort of utopia.  But it is not a fair introduction to Perry's work since most of his work is much more grim.  Naturally I turned to his series about Jane Whitefield who is a sort of anti-detective: she doesn't reveal criminals, she hides them "not if the police are gonna put you in jail, but if the police are gonna find your head in a dumpster." The first book is not quite up to par, but by number two he nailed it.

Dick Francis. Reflex.  This was an easy choice.  It is a good example of Francis's formula while showing how a writer can create magic with a formula.  Philip Nore is a jockey, grimly struggling with the fact that his career is almost over.  When he  reluctantly agrees to investigate a mystery in his own family he discovers a past he didn't know he had, and the possibility of a future he never imagined.

Tony Hillerman. Skinwalkers. Hillerman wrote three novels about older, modern-thinking Navaho Police Lieutenant Joe Leaphorn.  Then he wrote three about younger, more traditional Officer Jim Chee.  The legend says that a fan asked him why he had changed the name of the character, since she saw no other difference between the two, and that led Hillerman to writing this book, the first of many in which the two men work together.  I find that hard to believe because Skinwalkers feels like he was building up to it since his first novel. And the ending... wow.

G.M. Ford. Who the Hell is Wanda Fuca? Jerry Ford (not that one) wrote a series of terrific novels about Leo Waterman, a Seattle private eye whose secret weapon is a team of homeless people (they can spy anywhere because no one ever notices them). His masterpiece is Cast in Stone, but start with the first book. Witty and gritty in equal measures.

Elmore Leonard. Bandits.  Truth to tell I have the same problem with Leonard as I have with McBain.  I enjoy his books but have trouble telling them a part a year after reading them.  But the ex-nun in this book is a standout in his vast collection of scheming crooks and reluctant heroes.

S.J. Rozan. China Plaid.  Most of Rozan's books feature young Lydia Chin and older Bill Smith, both New York private eyes and semi-partners. .  Half of them are narrated by her and half by him.  All are a delight. Start at the beginning.

First Impressions

They say we only get one chance to make a first impression.That got me thinking about  the great characters in our genre.  What is the first thing we learn about them?  Here are the introductions to some of them.  They are in alphabetical order by the name of the character. The answers are at the bottom. Good luck. 

1. He threw soup at the wall in an Italian restaurant. 

2. She jumped a pothole in Canal Street as she dashed between honking cars and double-parked ones.

3. He sat with his pint of Bass East India moodliy watching the froth disperse.

4.He was in a chemistry lab bemoaning that he could not get someone to go halves with him in some nice rooms he had found, and which were too much for his purse. 

5. One of his core beliefs is that eventually all the New Empire restaurant will offer will be egg-fried rice and sweet-and-sour pork.

6. He was wearing a powder-blue suit, with dark blue shirt, tie and display handkerchief, black brogues, black wool socks, with dark blue clocks on them.

7. Her parlor was an old room with broad black beams across the ceiling, furnished with good furniture that belonged to it.

8. When a fresh-faced guy in a Chevy offered him a lift, he told him to go to hell.

9. When she first set eyes on Evelyn Barton-Forbes she (Evelyn) was walking the streets of Rome.

10. He was a little man who kissed a friend on both cheeks upon seeing him for the first time in years. 

11. He was surprised to see a white man walk into Joppy's bar. 

12. He was arrested in Eno's diner.

13.  His jaw was long and bony, his chin a jutting v under the more flexible v of his mouth.

14. He thought maybe he should have worn a tie to the office of the university president.

15. As she drove south along Lake Michigan she could smell rotting alewives like a faint perfume on the heavy air.

16. He left the catalogue at home.

17. He never hesitates to send his assistant running down to Murray Street for a can of shoe-polish if he happened to need one. 

1. Father Brown. Chesterton, "The Blue Cross." 

2. Lydia Chin. Rozan, China Trade.

3. Sergeant Cribb. Lovesey.  The Detective Wore Silk Drawers.

4.Sherlock Holmes. Doyle. A Study in Scarlet.

5. Jackson Lamb. Herron. Slow Horses.

6. Philip Marlowe.  Chandler. The Big Sleep.

7. Miss Jane Marple.  Christie. "The Tuesday Night Club." 

8. Parker.  The Hunter. 

9. Amelia Peabody. Peters. Crocodile on the Sandbank. 

 

10. Hercule Poirot. Christie. The Mysterious Affair at Styles. 

11.Easy Rawlins. Mosley. Devil in a Blue Dress. 

12. Jack Reacher. Child. Killing Floor.

13.  Sam Spade. Hammett. The Maltese Falcon.

14. Spenser. Parker. The Godwulf Manuscript. 

15. V.I. Warshawski. Paretsky. Indemnity Only.  

16. Lord Peter Wimsey. Sayers. Whose Body? 

17. Nero Wolfe. Stout. Fer-De-Lance.

You Are Entitled to Read My Story

 

I am pleased as punch to report that the September/October issue of Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine features "Was That So Hard?" my 45th story there.  And since my first appearance in that august journal was in 1981 I can boast an average of exactly one story a year.  (We won't discuss how many years I submitted stories there before they bought one.)

The idea for this story came from Not Always Right, a website I have mentioned before. People anonymously submit reports on horrible customers.  I enjoy the site so much I use it as a reward: I won't touch it until I have written my quota for the day. It is a huge time sink but I have pulled three short stories out of it. 

"Shanks Has Reservations" (Black Cat Weekly #158) was inspired by a genuine scam that happened in a hotel. "Shanks Gets Lost" came from many tales of customers being rude to fast food clerks. (Black Cat #193) 

And now "Was That So Hard?" was inspired by many reports on rude customers, mostly in grocery stores.  (The title is something an entitled customer says, or more likely sneers, after some underpaid employee goes miles out of their way to be helpful.)  My protagonist is in charge of a high-end grocery store which, just before closing time, is invaded by a mob of the rudest, most entitled customers you could dream up.  Naturally there is a crime involved.

Finally, I want to examine a word I have used twice in this little piece: entitled.  When did it change its meaning? It used to mean that someone has the right to do something.  Now I hear it more often being used to mean that someone feels they have that right.

I checked Oxford English Dictionary and found that they traced that meaning back to Robert Coles' Privileged Ones, published in 1977.

 It is a matter of feeling 'entitled.' A child who has been told repeatedly that all he or she needs to do is try hard does not feel inclined to allow himself or herself much skeptical self-examination.

Took a few decades to get into the mainstream but now we're stuck with the new meaning and, worse, the people it refers to.  

I hope my story makes you feel a little better about it.

The Walls of Providence

 Have you ever found yourself wondering: Am I the first to notice this or the last?  Does no one mention this because it is so obscure or so obvious? (And why did the Federales let Lefty go so long?)

I mention this because the situation has come up again and I am wondering if I should place a big SPOILER ALERT over this whole column.  If you have never read Don Winslow's Danny Ryan trilogy you might want to stop now.  Or not.  Your choice.

The first book, City on Fire, describes a war between two mob families, one Irish and one Italian, for control of Providence, Rhode Island in the 1980s.  The next two novels explain  the aftermath of the battle.  And they are great.  I highly recommend them to anyone who likes fiction about organized crime. 

I should say I didn't actually read the novels. I listened to the audiobooks. I like to think that if I had been reading them (and paying more attention to the epigraphs) I would have caught on more quickly to what Winslow was up to.

As it is, I was perhaps a third of the way through City on Fire (the first hospital scene, for those who remember it) and considering the relationship between two of the characters.  I remember thinking: "You know, they are like... But that means... Oh my gosh, it's the Trojan War!"

Which it is. Winslow  transferred the Illiad to modern New England.  

I grabbed a pen and started writing down Winslow's characters next to their Homeric equivalents. Unlike Christopher Nolan's movie, which I wrote about last week, most of the gods are present and accounted for (in human form, of course.)

By the way, City of Dreams and City in Ruins combine the Aeniad, the Odyssey, and the Oresteia. Danny Ryan, the protagonist, is Aeneas.

I was astonished to read one reader on the web complaining that if you know your mythology there are no surprises in the books.  I felt exactly the opposite: because I knew the myths I was excited to see how he fit Homer's and Virgil's incidents into his story line.  For example: What is the 1980s U.S. equivalent for the Trojan Horse?

Whenever I identified the classical model for one of Winslow's characters I found myself thinking, ooh, I know what's going to happen to you. (Spoiler: it probably won't be good.)

I was reminded of a passage in one of my favorite plays, Antigone,  which is Jean Anouilh's take on the tragedy by Sophocles.  The Chorus (who in the play is one person) distinguishes between tragedy and melodrama.  I wish I could quote his whole speech but, alas, I was the copyright officer for my university for a while and know better. So here is just a taste:

In a tragedy nothing is in doubt and everyone's destiny is known. This makes for tranquility... In melodrama you argue and struggle in the hope of escape. That is vulgar; it's practical. But in tragedy, where there is no temptation to try to escape, argument is gratuitous; it's kingly.

Which is how I felt about the characters in Winslow's novels.  This was especially true in the last volume as we watch two men who both want peace being dragged into inevitable conflict (with a little help from Winslow's version of Juno).

Anyway, I think you will enjoy the books even if the only Homer you know is Simpson. But if you grew up on d'Auliare's Book of Greek Myths, like me, you'll love them.

And now,  a completely different but oddly connected subject.

Rex Stout's eight novel about Nero Wolfe, Where There's A Will (1940) centers on the death of Noel Hawthorne, a wealthy businessman.  Among the suspects are his three sisters. June, the eldest, is married to the Secretary of State. May is a college president and Archie jokes that "they are thinking of prosecuting her under the anti-trust laws for her monopoly on brain cells."  April is a movie star.

But get this. The two younger sisters nickname the eldest Juno.  Juno (Hera)  was Jupiter's wife, queen of the gods.  Minerva (Athena) was the goddess of wisdom.  Venus (Aphrodite) was the goddess of beauty and sex.  

So is it a stretch to say we have:

*June (Juno), married to a powerful man

* May (Minerva), dispenser of wisdom

* April (Aphrodite), the beautiful.

But wait there's more.  Those three goddesses fought over the Golden Apple of Discord, leading to the Trojan War.  And Noel Hawthorne, in his will, left his sisters nothing but, respectively, an apple, a pear, and a peach.  The reason for this is never explained in the book except as a "token of his regard."

And that same dead brother?  Many years earlier he had accidentally shot his wife with an arrow, leaving her face so scarred that she always wears a veil.

Put this all together and it certainly seems like Stout is trying to connect it all to some myth, but I've never been able to make sense of it.

Next time I am in Delphi I will stop by the Temple of Apollo and ask the Oracle.

The Man, The Myth, The Trickster

 The regular readers of my blog entries (both of you) will not be surprised that my wife and I went to see Christopher Nolan's new film The Odyssey the first day it was available. We are achraeology and mythology buffs.

Short review: Not a masterpiece but not an embarrassment. To paraphrase Lincoln's book review, people who enjoy this type of film will definitely enjoy this one.

But what I want to discuss here is how, inevitably, Nolan had to make this 3,000-year-old character more palatable for a modern audience. Because Homer's Odysseus is a long way from what we would call a hero.

The very first sentence of the poem describes him with a word translators have been struggling with ever since. "A man of twists and turns." "A man skilled in all ways of contending." "That ingenious hero." "The crafty man." "The Shifty."

Emily Wilson translates it as "a complicated man," and she is worth noting because her 2012 version is the most popular these days (Nolan mentioned it in interviews) and has sold more than a walloping million copies this year alone.  I imagine Christopher Nolan is on her Christmas (or Saturnalia) card list.

So Odysseus is not just smart but tricky.  He lies, he cons, he gloats about it, and Homer expects us to admire him for it. This doesn't fit our idea of a hero these  days, so Nolan burdened the big O. with a guilty, post-traumatic conscience.  Sure, the guy dreamed up ther Trojan horse, leading to the destruction of the city and the slaughter of men, women, and children, but doggone, he feels awful about it.  In fact, you could argue that except for the phony horsey his wife Penelope does more tricking in the movie than her husband.

But tricksters were held in high regard in those cultures. I think one of the more interesting examples is Flavius Josephus, who was a Jewish general during the Jewish War against the Romans.  He was part of a group of seventy soldiers who, trapped by the enemy, decided to commit mass suicide, killing each other,  rather than surrender.  When only two were left Josephus and the other survivor promptly surrendered.  

How do we know about this dastardly deed?  Because he bragged about it in his book The Jewish War, written while he was a guest of Vespasian who he had correctly predicted would become emperor.  He knew his Roman readers would appreciate his cleverness, rather condemn his treachery.

Folk tales are full of tricksters, especially admiring those who outsmart stronger enemies: Aesops's fox, Anansi, Brer Rabbit, Loki, Puss and Boots, Jacob.

Actual armor from Odysseus's age

I've been trying to think of good examples from mystery fiction.  Sherlock Holmes, multiple disguises and all, seems too straight-forward to qualify.  Nero Wolfe? Perry Mason?  Possibly.  

Jackson Lamb?  Absotively.

I want to leave you with one anecdote from the Odyssey which didn't make it into the movie, not quite having that heroic vibe.

In Book Nine (where Wilson has Homer describing our guy as "the lord of liars") he talks about his ships arriving in the land of a people called the Cicones. Odysseus and his men sack the city, killing most of the men and taking the women as slaves.

But then, wouldn't you know it? The Cicones called on their allies and attack, killing many of Odysseus's men.  "Poor us!" Wilson's O. laments.

Imagine the unfairness of it.  You declare an enemy's ability to conduct war has been obliterated and they keep fighting back.

Thank the gods that sort of thing doesn't happen anymore.

Always Be Sure, Please, To Call It Research

This piece might be useful to some people. We shall see.

Recently I have noticed a number of writers talking about doing research for their fiction, especially historical fiction.  Well, I spent 41 years as a librarian helping people with research, so I thought I might offer a few bits of advice.

I'm not going to talk about sources because they change with some speed. And besides, I moderated a panel of librarians at Left Coast Crime this year and you can find some of our recommendations here.  

What I want to talk about is some principles on finding sources.    Here goes.

Principle 1. Wouldn't it be nice to have a highly trained research assistant at your command? Surprise! You do. They work at the public library and they are paid with your tax dollars whether you use them or not.  You can call, text, email, or visit.  Don't be shy.  If you give a reference librarian a question they can spend a couple of hours digging into you are making their day.

And here is a subclause that is probably out of date but worth mentioning: If you ask a librarian for research help be as specific as possible.  I think the use of search engines has probably made this problem less common, but when I started out a lot of people seemed to think they weren't permitted to ask for what they really wanted, so we had conversations like this one I had with a college student in the early eighties:

Q: Where are your books on religion?

A: Most are upstairs under the letter B (Note: We used the Library of Congress system). But are you after anything more specific?

Q: Yes, books on Islam.

A: Great. Any particular book?

Q: The Autobiography of Malcolm X.

Well, that shrank suddenly, didn't it? (And by the way, the Autobiography is typically shelved under E for American history.)

Principle 2. A lesson I learned long before the Internet: No matter how obscure your subject is, someone thinks it is the most fascinating topic in the world.  Find that person and you may wind up begging them to stop giving you information.

One way to hunt for that source is to look for websites related to your topic. Can you find a way to contact the person who created it? Yahtzee!

Principle 3. You have probably figured out that not all information is available for free on the Internet. I am especially thinking of scholarly articles. You need to look at databases (a stupid term libraries use (mostly) for digital periodical indexes), but your public library doesn't have all the ones you were hoping for.

Okay, is there a college or university in your area?  You can look at their website and see what databases they have, but, of course, they are only available to their own students. Bummer!

Don't panic.  Contact the librarians there and ask: 1. Is your library building open to the public?  And if it is: 2. If I go there in person can I use your databases? 

The university where I am a professor emeritus lists 47 databases under the subject of History, including:

* American History and Life

* America's Historical Newspapers

* American Prison Newspapers

* Historical Statistics of the United States

And so on.  

Principle 4. What if you learn of the existence of the perfect article but no library you can access has it? You contact your public library but they say no;  getting you a copy would cost them a billion kajillion dollars because of the APAGEP Factor. (Academic Publishers Are Greedy Evil Parasites).

Go back to Principle 2.  The author of that perfect article is the person who finds your subject  so fascinating.  Contact them and they may be delighted to send you a free e-copy of their article.  You  aren't depriving them of anything because they wouldn't get any of that billion kajillion dollars anyway. (See APAGEP above.)

Principle 5. If you are trying to dig beyond the obvious search engine, familiarize yourself with the tools of Boolean logic.  For example, if you go to Google Scholar and search for:

private detectives  nineteenth century chicago boston 

...you will get less-focused results than if you search for: 

"private detectives" "nineteenth century" (chicago OR boston) 

Thus endeth today's lesson.  Best of luck with your research.  I hope you get an A+ or, better yet,  published.

EMERGENCY: Sherlock Holmes 2.0

 

Popcorn Proverbs 7

For the seventh time, here is a collection of quotations from some crime movies.  Answers are at the bottom.  The quotes are in alphabetical order by title.  Oh, and four are from the same director, and two of those have quotes from the same actor.  None of these flicks have appeared in my previous collections.  Good luck!

“What's on the menu?”
“Fun and games.”
“Will it be a mess to clean up?
“With any luck.” 

 

“Get some cops to protect our policemen!” 

 

“Where do you live?”

“I live where the land meets the sky. Where the eagle and the raven fly free. I live under the sun and the moon.”

“Where do you live?”

“I'm his neighbour.”

 

“Why didn’t you get a job?”

“They don’t grow on trees.”

“Why didn’t you starve first?”

“Why didn’t you?”

"I'm just gonna assume you're all criminals." 

“People don't commit murder on credit.” 

“Yes, I killed him. I killed him for money - and a woman - and I didn't get the money and I didn't get the woman. Pretty, isn't it?”

“What a dramatic airport.”

“Chivalry may be dead but I didn’t kill it.”

 “I would make a great mother, don't you think?”

“Oh, my God. A child would be so lucky to have you as its host.”
“Thank you. It must be your powerful asexuality that makes you such a good listener.”

 

“The Pharisees were macaroni.” 

 

“I'm going to tell the truth.”

“Oh, it’s a work of fiction!”

 

“I've heard of the habitual criminal, of course. But I never dreamed I'd become involved with the habitual crime.”

 

“I’m from Quincy. Hot-wiring cars is part of the public school curriculum.” 

 

“I'm not chasing any parrot! I don't care if he's a field marshal!” 

 

“Tell her they may soon be leaving us. Leaving us for a long, long journey. How is it that Shakespeare says? ‘From which no traveler returns.’ Great poet.” 

 

“I write true crime novels based on fictional stories that I make up.”  

 

 

“Did you hurt yourself?”
“No, kneeling on glass is my favorite pastime. It keeps me from slouching.”   

  
 “You give out my number again and I'll retire you with flowers.” 

“Which would be worse - to live as a monster? Or to die as a good man?”

“What do you think of me by contrast to your horse?”
“If I ever got the bit between your teeth, I'd have no trouble in handling you at all.” 

“The pastries are light as air.”

 “Germaine has very sensitive hands and an exceedingly light touch. She strangled a German general - without a sound.”

"God, I hope i live to regret this."

 

“My dear, I’m not a gangster. But I was in real estate for 20 years. I stop at nothing.”  

“Sell me this pen.” 

Ready?  Here are the answers...

“What's on the menu?”

“Fun and games.”

“Will it be a mess to clean up?

“With any luck.” -Kathryn St. Jean / George Woodhouse (Cate Blanchett/Michael Fassbender) Black Bag

 

“Get some cops to protect our policemen!” – Police Chief (Joe Miller) Cops

 

“Where do you live?”

“I live where the land meets the sky. Where the eagle and the raven fly free. I live under the sun and the moon.”

“Where do you live?”

“I'm his neighbour.”

-Cop (Bruno Bryniarski) / Frank Fencepost (Adam Beach) / Silas Crow (Ryan Rajendra Black) Dance Me Outside

  

“Why didn’t you get a job?”

“They don’t grow on trees.”

“Why didn’t you starve first?”

“Why didn’t you?”

-Baby Face Martin (Humphrey Bogart) / Francey (Claire Trevor) Dead End

"I'm just gonna assume you're all criminals." -- Krause Will Poulter) Detroit

 “People don't commit murder on credit.” – Tony Wendice (Ray Milland) Dial M For Murder

 
“Yes, I killed him. I killed him for money - and a woman - and I didn't get the money and I didn't get the woman. Pretty, isn't it?” – Walter Neff (Fred McMurray) Double Indemnity

 “What a dramatic airport.” -Dr. Richard H. Thorndyke (Mel Brooks) High Anxiety\

“Chivalry may be dead but I didn’t kill it.” --        Gary Johnson (Glen Powell) Hit Man

 “I would make a great mother, don't you think?”
“Oh, my God. A child would be so lucky to have you as its host.”
“Thank you. It must be your powerful asexuality that makes you such a good listener.”
-Sonia Kincaid (Salma Hayek) / Michale Bryce (Ryan Reynolds) The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard

 

“The Pharisees were macaroni.” – Reverend Drew Devlin (Chris Evans) Honey Don’t

 

“I'm going to tell the truth.”

“Oh, it’s a work of fiction!”

-Kendig (Walter Matthau) / Isobel (Glenda Jackson) Hopscotch

 

“I've heard of the habitual criminal, of course. But I never dreamed I'd become involved with the habitual crime.” -Dr. Amusa (Moses Gunn) The Hot Rock

 

“I’m from Quincy. Hot-wiring cars is part of the public school curriculum.” – Cobby (Casey Affleck) The Instigators

 

“I'm not chasing any parrot! I don't care if he's a field marshal!” – Louis (Herbert Lom) The Lady Killers (1955)

 

“Tell her they may soon be leaving us. Leaving us for a long, long journey. How is it that Shakespeare says? ‘From which no traveler returns.’ Great poet.” – Abbott (Peter Lorre) The Man Who Knew Too Much (1934)

 

“I write true crime novels based on fictional stories that I make up.” – Beth Davenport (Pamela Anderson) The Naked Gun (2025)

 

“Did you hurt yourself?”
“No, kneeling on glass is my favorite pastime. It keeps me from slouching.”  Henrietta Lowell/Henry Graham (Elaine May/Walter Matthau) A New Leaf

 “God, I hope I live to regret this.” – Mincy (Betty Gabriel) Novocaine

 “You give out my number again and I'll retire you with flowers.” – Mailer (Robert Ryan) The Outfit

 “Which would be worse - to live as a monster? Or to die as a good man?” – Teddy Daniels (Leonardo DiCaprio) Shutter Island

 “What do you think of me by contrast to your horse?”

“If I ever got the bit between your teeth, I'd have no trouble in handling you at all.” – Johnny/Lina (Cary Grant/Joan Fontaine) Suspicion

“The pastries are light as air.”
 “Germaine has very sensitive hands and an exceedingly light touch. She strangled a German general - without a sound.” – H.H. Hughson / John Robie (John Williams/ Cary Grant) To Catch a Thief

 “My dear, I’m not a gangster. But I was in real estate for 20 years. I stop at nothing.” – Ferguson (Rupert Everett) Wild Target

 “Sell me this pen.” – Jordan Belfort (Leonardo DiCaprio) The Wolf of Wall Street