05 August 2012

I Write Like…

IWL sounds like a labor union but it stands for "I write like…" found at a web site called IWL.com. I don't recall if this came up in Criminal Brief, but it's fun to tinker with it, sort of a literary horoscope.
Crawling Through the Carpal Tunnel

At the moment, writing anything has become irritating because of pain, possibly carpal tunnel related. Some people's wrists go numb, mine hurt like hell, especially when picking up silly things like a cup or turning a doorknob.

I know, I know…gotta take care of myself. When I'm heads-down writing, I tend to block out my environment– chills, hunger, fatigue, and paying bills. ADD specialists call it 'hyper-focusing'. (Note to self: Been cutting those emergency bathroom dashes a bit close recently.)
A. Conan Doyle
Stephen King
Anne Rice

Making the Grade

I'd been editing math textbooks, grades 5-7, and was 'rewarded' (he says dryly) with an assignment to write for grade 9. A number of equations are involved, so I'm using MS Word 2011's new internal equation editor. It's not bad, not bad at all as long as colleagues don't try to edit in an older version of MS Word.

Anyway, a note in my eMail drew my attention to IWL, so I gave it 'I write like…' a whirl. My first attempt said I write like Arthur Conan Doyle. Yay! My second submission came up Stephen King. Wow. And analysis of my third story claimed I wrote like William Shakespeare. Forsooth!

Biting the Neck that Feeds You

And then I tried a fourth sample—Anne Rice? Hmm? This particular piece might have been a bit dark and sexy but there was nary a vampire to be found.

The IWL web site's for fun– I imagine even the worst writing will be given a positive twist and attributed to a great author. Is it possible someone's writing is so bad it could be linked to that kid in the third grade who picked his nose?

Nah, not me. My editor thinks I write like a 9th-grader.


  1. Amusing, but don't knock the ed writing- in my experience the duller the work the better it pays!

  2. That's true, Janice, and there's a possibility of royalties down the line, so a couple of years from now may pay off!

  3. Slow down and safe those wrist for putting more words on paper or in cyberspace, or whatever we call it now days.

    I write like surprised me with H. P Lovecraft, whom I read a long time ago, and David Foster Wallace, whom I'd never heard of until I read about him last year.

  4. Robert Louis Stevenson; Stephen King (for a story advertised by AHMM as humorous!); James Joyce; J. D. Salinger. I don't think their database knows what it's talking about. That, or it's schizophrenic...

  5. Louis, I discovered HP Lovecraft about the 5th-6th grade and read everything I could. My 6th grade teacher actually tore a paperback I was reading (my aunt's!) in half and kicked me in butt!

    I hadn't heard of David Foster Wallace and just looked him up. Sadly, I deal with depression too and I feel for those who try the drugs, especially when something effective is denied.

    Eve, you just about cover the gamut. What a broad range of authors!

  6. Oh, I read the entire Lovecraft canon about the same time, Leigh, and loved it. I passed some of the books along to a friend later on, and he returned them a couple of days later, with a wild-eyed look and said, "I don't even want them in my house!" I guess he didn't know that you're not supposed to read them all in one weekend...

  7. Eve and Louis, when I was a kid I stumbled across rural ponds that a paper mill illegally used as a dump site. It was dead and hideous and reminded me of one of the Lovecraft stories where the trees turn to ash.

    I didn't get into the Cthulhu saga, but I did name an undertake McThulhu.


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