by B.K. Stevens
"The
 grandest game in the world"--that's how Edward D. Hoch describes the 
duel between mystery writer and mystery reader. In an essay called "The 
Pleasure of the Short Story," Hoch explains why he prefers mysteries "in
 which the reader is given a clue or hint well in advance of the ending.
 As a reader myself I find the greatest satisfaction in spotting the 
clue and anticipating the author. If I overlook it, I don't feel 
cheated--I admire the author's skill!"*
And it takes a 
lot of skill. In any mystery where this "grandest game" is played, the 
delightful challenge offered to readers poses daunting challenges for 
writers. We have to provide readers with clues "well in advance of the 
ending," as Hoch says. In my opinion (and I bet Hoch would agree), we 
should provide plenty of clues, and they should start as soon as 
possible. As a reader, I feel a tad frustrated by mysteries that hinge 
on a single clue--if we don't pick up on a quick reference indicating 
the killer was wearing gloves on a warm day, we have no chance of 
figuring things out. I also don't much enjoy mysteries that look like 
whodunits but are really just histories of investigations. 

 
The
 detective questions A, who provides a scrap of information pointing to 
B, who suggests talking to C. Finally, somewhere around F, the detective
 happens upon the only truly relevant clue, which leads straight to a 
solution that's obvious now but would have been impossible to guess even
 three minutes sooner. That's not much fun.
But
 working in lots of clues throughout the mystery isn't easy. Hoch 
identifies "the great clue bugaboo" that plagues many detective stories:
 "Clues are inserted with such a heavy hand that they almost scream 
their presence at the reader." Especially in short stories, Hoch says, 
avoiding that bugaboo requires "a great deal of finesse." I think that's
 true not only in whodunits but also in mysteries that build suspense by
 hinting at endings alert readers have a fair chance of predicting 
before they reach the last page. Luckily, there are ways of camouflaging
 clues, of hiding them in plain sight so most readers will overlook 
them.

 
Here
 are five camouflage techniques--you've probably used some or all of 
them yourself. Since it wouldn't be polite to reveal other writers' 
clues, I'll illustrate the descriptions with examples from my own 
stories.That way, if I give away too much and spoil the stories, the 
only person who can get mad at me is me.  (By some strange coincidence, 
all the stories I'll mention happen to be in my recent collection from 
Wildside Press, 
Her Infinite Variety: Tales of Women and Crime.)
Sneak clues in before readers expect them:
 Readers expect the beginning of a mystery to intrigue them and provide 
crucial back story--or, perhaps, to plunge them into the middle of 
action. They don't necessarily expect to be slapped in the face with 
clues right away. So if we slide a clue into our opening sentences, it 
might go unnoticed. That's what I tried to do in "Aunt Jessica's Party,"
 which first appeared in 
Woman's World in 1993. It's not a 
whodunit, but the protagonist's carrying out a scheme, and readers can 
spot it if they pay attention. Here's how the story begins:
 
    Carefully, Jessica polished her favorite sherry glass and placed it 
on the silver tray. Soon, her nephew would arrive. He was to be the only
 guest at her little party, and everything had to be perfect.
    
 Five minutes until six--time to call Grace. She went to the phone near 
the kitchen window, kept her eyes on the driveway, and dialed.
  
   "Hello, Grace?" she said. "Jessica. How are you? Oh, I'm fine--never 
better. Did I tell you William's coming today? Yes, it is an 
accomplishment to get him here. But it's his birthday, and I promised 
him a special present. He even agreed to pick up some sherry for me. Oh,
 there he is, pulling into the driveway." She paused. "Goodbye, Grace. 
You're a dear."

 
I
 count at least six facts relevant to the story's solution in these 
paragraphs; even Jessica's pause is significant. And there's one solid 
clue, an oddity that should make readers wonder. Jessica's planned the 
timing of this call ("time to call Grace"), but why call only five 
minutes before her nephew's scheduled to arrive? She can't be calling to
 chat--what other purpose might the call serve? I'm hoping that readers 
won't notice the strange timing, that they'll focus instead on hints 
about Jessica's relationship with her nephew and the "special present" 
she's giving him. I've played fair by providing a major clue. If readers
 aren't ready for it, it's not my fault.
Hide a clue in a series of insignificant details: If
 a detective searches a crime scene and finds an important clue--an 
oil-stained rag, say--we're obliged to tell readers. But if we don't 
want to call too much attention to the clue, we can hide it in a list of
 other things the detective finds, making sure some sound as intriguing 
as an oil-stained rag. I used this technique in "Death in Rehab," a 
whodunit published in 
Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine in 
2011. When temporary secretary Leah Abrams accepts a job at a rehab 
center, her husband, Sam, doesn't like the idea that she'll be 
"surrounded by addicts." Leah counters that being around recovering 
addicts will be inspirational, not dangerous, but Sam's not convinced:
"They're
 still addicts, and addicts do dangerous things. Did you read the local 
news this morning?" He found the right page and pointed to a headline. 
"'Gambling Addict Embezzles Millions, Disappears'--probably in Vegas by 
now, the paper says. Or this story--`Small-time Drug Dealer Killed 
Execution Style'--probably because he stole from his bosses, the paper 
says. Or this one--`Shooter Flies into Drunken Rage, Wounds Two'--the 
police haven't caught that one, either."
Savvy
 mystery readers may suspect one of these news stories will be relevant 
to the mystery, but they can't yet know which one (this is another 
early-in-the-story clue). In fact, I've tried to make the two irrelevant
 headlines sound more promising than the one that actually matters--and 
if you decide to read the story, that's a big extra hint for you. About 
halfway through the story, Sam mentions the three news stories again. By
 now, readers who have paid attention to all the clues provided during 
Leah's first day at work should have a good sense of which story is 
relevant. But I don't think most readers will figure out murderer and 
motive yet--and if they do, I don't much care. I've packed this story so
 full of clues that I doubt many readers will spot all of them. Even 
readers who realize whodunit should find some surprises at the end.
Separate clues from context:
 We're obliged to provide the reader with clues and also, I think, to 
provide the context needed to interpret them. But I don't think we're 
obliged to provide both at the same time. By putting a careful distance 
between clue and context, we can play fair and still keep the reader 
guessing. In "The Shopper," a whodunit first published in a 2014 
convention anthology, a young librarian's house is burglarized while 
she's at home, asleep. That's unsettling enough, but her real worries 
begin when the burglar--a pro the police have nicknamed The 
Shopper--starts sending her notes and returning some things he stole. He
 seems obsessed with her. Also, two men she's never seen before--one 
blond, one dark--start showing up at the library every day. She suspects
 one of them might be The Shopper, but which one? (And who says you 
can't have a puzzling whodunit with only two suspects?) Then things get 
worse:
     
She
 didn't really feel like going out that night, but she and Lori had a 
long-standing date for dinner and a movie. It'd be embarrassing to admit
 she was scared to go out, and the company would do her good. But when 
she got to the restaurant, she spotted the blond man sitting in a booth,
 eating a slab of pie. He has a right to eat wherever he wants, she 
thought; but the minute Lori arrived, Diane grabbed her hand, pulled her
 to a table at the other end of the restaurant, and sighed with relief 
when the blond man left after a second cup of coffee.
     The 
relief didn't last long. As she and Lori walked out, she saw the dark 
man sitting at the counter, picking at a salad. He must have come in 
after she had--had he followed her? She couldn't stand it any more.
I'd
 say there are five major clues in this story. Two are contained--or, in
 one case, reinforced--in these paragraphs. A reader keeping careful 
track of all the evidence could identify The Shopper right now, without 
reading the remaining seven pages. But since these clues are revealing 
only in the context of information provided five pages earlier, I'm 
betting most readers won't make the connection. The Shopper's secrets 
are still safe with me.
Use the protagonist's point of view to mislead readers: This technique isn't reserved for mystery writers. In "
Emma
 Considered as Detective Fiction," P.D. James comments on Jane Austen's 
skillful manipulation of point of view to conceal the mysteries at the 
heart of her novel. Emma constantly misinterprets what people do and 
say, and because we readers see things from Emma's perspective, we're 
equally oblivious to what's really going on. In our own mysteries, 
unless our protagonist is a genius who instantly understands everything,
 we can use the same technique: If our protagonist overlooks clues, 
chances are readers will overlook them, too. In "A Joy Forever" (
AHMM,
 2015), photographer Chris is visiting Uncle Mike and his second wife, 
Gwen. Uncle Mike is a tyrant who's reduced Gwen to the status of 
domestic slave--he orders her around, never helps her, casually insults 
her. Gwen takes it all without a murmur. After a dinner during which 
Uncle Mike behaves even more boorishly than usual, Chris follows Gwen to
 the kitchen to help with the dishes:

 
    
 As I watched her standing at the sink, sympathy overpowered me again. 
She was barely fifty but looked like an old woman--bent, scrawny, 
exhausted, her graying hair pulled back in a tight bun. And her drab, 
shapeless dress had to be at least a decade old.
     "You spend 
so much on Uncle Mike," I chided. "The golf cart, all that food and 
liquor. Spend something on yourself. Go to a beauty parlor and have your
 hair cut and styled. Buy yourself some new clothes."
     She 
laughed softly. "Oh, Mike really needs what I buy for him--he really, 
really does. And I don't care how my hair looks, and I don't need new 
clothes." Her smile hardened. "Not yet."
     I felt so moved, and so sorry, that I leaned over and kissed the top of her head. "You're too good to him."
Chris
 sees Gwen as a victim, as a woman whose spirit has been utterly crushed
 by an oppressor. Readers who don't see beyond Chris's perspective have 
some surprises coming. But in this story, by this point, I think most 
readers will see more than Chris does. They'll pick up on clues such as 
Gwen's hard smile, her quiet "not yet." I had fun playing with point of 
view in this story, with giving alert readers plenty of opportunities to
 stay one step ahead of the narrator. It's another variation on Hoch's 
"grandest game."
Distract readers with action or humor:
 If readers get caught up in an action scene, they may forget they're 
supposed to be watching for clues; if they're chuckling at a character's
 dilemma, they may not notice puzzle pieces slipping by. In "Table for 
None" (
AHMM, 2008), apprentice private detective Harriet Russo is
 having a rough night. She's on a dark, isolated street, staking out a 
suspect. But he spots her, threatens her, and stalks off. Moments later,
 her client, Little Dave, pops up unexpectedly and proposes searching 
the suspect's car. Harriet says it's too dangerous, but Little Dave 
won't listen:
  
He
 raced off. For a moment, I stood frozen. Call Miss Woodhouse and tell 
her how I'd botched things--let Little Dave get himself killed and feel 
guilty for the rest of my life--follow him into the parking lot and risk
 getting killed myself. On the whole, the last option seemed most 
attractive. I raced after Little Dave.
     He stood next to the dirty white car, hissing into his cell phone. "Damn it, Terry," he whispered harshly, "I told you not to call me. No, I won't
 tell you where I am. Just go home. I'll see ya when I see ya." He 
snapped his phone shut and yanked on a back door of the car. It didn't 
budge. He looked straight at me, grinning sheepishly.
     That's 
pretty much the last thing I remember. I have some vague impression of 
something crashing down against me, of sharp pain and sudden darkness. 
But my next definite memory is of fading slowly back into 
consciousness--of hearing sirens blare, of feeling the cement against my
 back, of seeing Little Dave sprawled a few feet away from me, of 
spotting a small iron figurine next to him, of falling into darkness 
again. 
I hope readers will focus on the conflict and
 confusion in this scene, and on the unseen attack that leaves Harriet 
in bad shape and Little Dave in worse shape. I hope they won't pause to 
take careful note of exactly what Little Dave says in his phone 
conversation, to test it against the way he's behaved earlier and the 
things people say later. If readers are too focused on the action to 
pick up on inconsistencies, they'll miss evidence that could help them 
identify the murderer.

 
We
 can also distract readers with clever dialogue, with fascinating 
characters, with penetrating social satire, with absorbing themes, with 
keen insights into human nature. In the end, excellent writing is the 
best way to keep readers from focusing only on the clues we parade past 
them. Of course, that's not our main reason for trying to make our 
writing excellent. To use Hoch's phrase again, mysteries invite writers 
and readers to participate in "the grandest game," but that doesn't mean
 mysteries are no more than a game. I think mysteries can be as 
compelling and significant as other kinds of fiction. The grandest game 
doesn't impose limits on what our stories and novels can achieve. It 
simply adds another element that I and millions of other readers happen 
to enjoy.
Do
 you have favorite ways of camouflaging clues? I'd love to see some 
examples from your own mysteries. (*Hoch's essay, by the way, is in the 
Mystery Writers of America 
Mystery Writer's Handbook, edited by 
Lawrence Treat, published in 1976, revised and reprinted several times 
since then. Used copies are available through Amazon.)