Supercomputers, Mongols, and Carbing Up: April 11 Isn't Boring at All

Brace yourselves, folks. Today– April 11^th– is no ordinary day. It's an extraordinarily ordinary day. In 2010, a team of Cambridge scientists aimed cutting-edge technology at history and declared…

The Most Boring Day in History

That's right. The Cambridge team, being a Cambridge team, had a supercomputer and a powerful analysis program called True Knowledge. The team fed 300 million historical facts with date references into True Knowledge and asked a question that has haunted humankind since we invented campfires: What day wound up as the most boring in history?

The supercomputer had an answer: April 11, 1954.

On that date, nothing happened, not really. Not many notable people were born, and not many died. No scandals of note, no major battles, no geopolitical flare-ups. No financial drama, either. It was Sunday, so the traders stayed home. 

What did happen? The Belgians had an election. The algorithm was unimpressed. Probably the Belgians weren't, either.

Which all raises a compound irony. For starters, that Cambridge lab couldn't have been a thrill-a-minute either if they had spare time enough to compare the relative boringness of history's doldrums. Second, the team stumbled into the classic Observer Effect. Scientifically crowning April 11, 1954 as the slowest day in history makes the day no longer boring at all. It's famous now. If anything, April 11, 1954 managed an incredible achievement.

April 11: The Mayhem Edition

Admittedly, other April 11s left more of a direct mark. Take 1241, for instance. Batu Khan, the grandson of Genghis, defeated the Hungarians at Mohi. The kingdom was there for the taking. Panic spread through Europe. 

Or there was 1512. On April 11, 1512, the French and Ferrarese defeated Holy League forces at Ravenna. The victory was costly, though. The French lost their rising star general and promptly abandoned the campaign. That left the Duke of Ferrara to wrangle with the papal forces– not so successfully. A decade later, Alfonso had switched to Team Holy League. These days, April 11 is surely a sore point on all sides of the Ferrarese duchy divide. 

But April 11 is so much more than science and battles. Why, today is…

National Cheese Fondue Day

God bless the Swiss. First, the humble Swiss farmers gave us fondue as we know it (though we know fondue's invention didn't happen on April 11– see above scientific analysis), which Big Gruyère seized on in the 1930s to promote as a national dish. 

And with good reason. Traditional cheese fondue is pure, high-caloric goodness: heaps of cheese, wine, bread. Jazz it up however it tickles your fancy. There are no rites or rituals--yet--for Cheese Fondue Day, just your imagination, adjustable pants, and your friend Craig whom you pretend doesn't double-dip. 

But save plenty of room, because April 11 is also…

National Poutine Day

You may just want to mark April 11 as an automatic diet Cheat Day. Yes, today also celebrates Quebec's famed dish and ultimate comfort experience. Pommes frites, brown gravy, and cheese curds--all slopped on top of each other. Say no more, and thank you, Canadian friends.

In honor of those brave Canadian greasy spoon chefs, don't let today pass without gathering together and tucking into a celebratory pile. And if you run out of conversation topics, now you have the Ferrarese and Batu Khan.

Or, in the true spirit of April 11, maybe just sit and look around and take in the sweet, momentous unimportance.

Have a great April 11, or as it might also be called…

Bob Needed a Blog Day