05 March 2019

Who needs oysters? Pumpkin pie will get your libido pumping!

by Barb Goffman

I have a secret. ... I spend too much time on the Internet.

Okay, fine. Anyone who's my Facebook friend already knows that about me. But since admitting the problem is the first step to conquering the problem ...

Wait a minute. Who says spending a lot of time on the Internet is a problem? If I hadn't done that, I might not have read some articles that helped me write "Bug Appetit," which is my short story that became my first sale to Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine and is a current finalist for the Agatha Award. It's not like you just inherently know that pumpkin pie is an aphrodisiac. No, sir. I had to read an article in the New York Daily News about it and then remember that great tidbit when the right time came.

What, you say? Pumpkin pie? An aphrodisiac? Tell me more.

Okay.

According to the Daily News, researchers say the sweet, spicy scent of pumpkin pie increases men's sexual desire. And cooking the pie with pumpkin seeds can be even more useful for getting your man in the mood. The seeds are full of zinc, which increases testosterone and thus also increases desire.

Another helpful article on the Internet says that the smell of pumpkin pie can increase blood flow to the penis by forty percent. Thank you, https://science.howstuffworks.com. Pumpkin pie can influence women's arousal too, though blood-flow numbers weren't offered.

This all may explain why you know a lot of folks born at the end of August. Yep, they're likely Thanksgiving babies, thanks (pun intended) to the pumpkin pie served as holiday dessert. 

So if you want to entice your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend or even someone you met the prior night at a speed-dating event (this idea is from my story--not my real life--honest), bake some pumpkin pie with the seeds in it. You could end up having a story-worthy tale, if you're the kind to kiss and tell.

How does this play out in "Bug Appetit"? You can read it yourself to find out. The story's right here online for your reading pleasure. The folks at Ellery Queen called it "twisty, humorous, and creepy." What more could you want?

And don't worry if you're spending too much time on the Internet. My experience is that it can really pay off. Happy reading!

24 comments:

Tonette Joyce said...

Well, Gee...Sara Lee and Mrs. Smith must be either very satisfied or dead tired!
I'm not sure what to do with the pumpkin pie in my freezer...

Barb Goffman said...

Save it for your anniversary, Tonette. Or, depending on your mood, you could take it out for tomorrow night. After all, you can always make or buy more pie.

Barb Goffman said...

Oh, and about Sara Lee, I think the answer is probably "both."

LJ Roberts said...

OMG! Both my sister and I are Thanksgiving babies. I'll never look at pumpkin pie the same way again. :)

Paul D. Marks said...

Who knew pumpkin pie was natural Viagra? Good luck with your story, Barb!

Barb Goffman said...

One of my brothers is too. I'm choosing not to think about it.

Barb Goffman said...

Thanks, Paul. And enjoy your pie with dinner tonight!

Eve Fisher said...

I've always heard that cinnamon is an aphrodisiac (is this why my Greek grandmother even put it into the meat sauce?). Yet another reason to pull out the pumpkin pie!

Tonette Joyce said...

HA!
My 'problem' is that a certain party doesn't need any pumpkin pie encouragement.

Barb Goffman said...

Eve, I can't vouch for this information, but I just Googled cinnamon for you and found: "Cinnamon is a spice held in the highest regard for its powerful medicinal qualities as well its aphrodisiac power. ... Supposedly, a drop of cinnamon oil rubbed onto the genitals is surprisingly useful in producing powerful sexual stimulation." So there you have it. Go pull out the pie and add some cinnamon. What else you do with the cinnamon is up to you.

Melodie Campbell said...

Hmmm...I was born in August :)
Fun fact, Barb! Of course, any man who brings me pumpkin pie can stay a while. Add in a steak dinner and baked potato...what can I say? Like my dog, I am highly motivated by food.

Barb Goffman said...

You and me both, Mel!

Elizabeth said...

I loved your story "Bug Appetit". The husband has been asking for pumpkin pie recently! I'll make him a pie with extra cinnamon.

Elizabeth, born at the end of August

Mary Garrett said...


Spicing things up. <3 "Bug Appetit" is a most memorable story. ;-)

Steve Liskow said...

Loved Bug Appetit, Barb. Good luck with the Agatha.

For the record, my wife, John McCain, and Michael Jackson shared the same birthday...August 29. And my sister's birthday is August 19.

Adds a whole new dimension to "wining and dining," too.

Eve Fisher said...

Loved "Bug Appetit," Barb. But I want an ingredient list if I ever come over to your house for dinner...

Leigh Lundin said...

Hmm… My mother constantly made pies, including pumpkin. She even made pies for my dad instead of birthday cake and my youngest brother was an August baby.

But… a few years ago, a girlfriend pointed out my birthday came exactly 9 months after my mother's. THAT's a weird feeling.

Lawrence Maddox said...

Fun read Barb! You've opened my eyes to the true nature of Thanksgiving.

Barb Goffman said...

Don't forget to use pumpkin seeds too, Elizabeth! (And I'm delighted you enjoyed the story.)

Barb Goffman said...

Thanks, Mary.

Barb Goffman said...

It sure does, Steve. And I'm thrilled you enjoyed the story.

Barb Goffman said...

Don't worry, Eve. I don't cook, so you're safe. (And I'm so happy you enjoyed the story. Yay.)

Barb Goffman said...

See, Leigh. Your mom knew how to celebrate.

Barb Goffman said...

So glad you liked the story. Now you'll know what's really going on at the next Thanksgiving dinner when couples get so tired early and need to call it an early night.