"...the magnificent Spade, with whom, after reading 'The Maltese Falcon', I went
mooning about in a daze of love such as I had not known for any character in
literature since I encountered Sir Launcelot at the age of nine. (Launcelot and
Spade - they're pretty far apart, yet I played Elaine to both of them, and in that
lies a life-story.)" Dorothy Parker, The New Yorker, April 25, 1931, p. 92
Me and Dorothy have a lot in common. I, too have mooned after Sam Spade, Simon Templar, Nick Charles, James Bond (I'm a Sean Connery gal), Lord Peter Wimsey, Sir Gawain, Prince Valiant, Rhett Butler, and Thomas Hewlitt Edward Cat. See Robert Loggia below - I loved that show. I watched every episode for its two year run. Besides the fact that I thought Mr. Loggia was pretty darned hot, it was set mostly at night, with lots of cool jazz music - he owned his own jazz bar - and references to gypsies and jewel thieves, and I thought that was pretty much the kind of life I wanted to lead. Note to Netflix: get this show on DVD!
But none of these were role models. For that I needed women, and strong, interesting women were hard to find back in the 1960's, when Donna Reed et al were still vacuuming wearing high heels and pearls. Here are some of the women whom I admired and modeled myself after when I was a child:
Elizabeth I. The original great leader, sharp and witty, supremely well educated, steely, manipulative, able to get and keep her throne in an age of beheadings, able to keep her country out of almost all wars, dignified, bawdy, athletic, musical, and poetic. Do not even get me started on her antithesis, Mary, Queen of Scots. Anyone stupid enough to marry the chief suspect in her husband's murder deserves whatever she gets. Elizabeth had the good sense to stay single, both because it was to her taste and because she knew that no husband would ever please her countrymen. "I would rather be a beggar woman and single than
to be a Queen and married."
(But I personally don't believe she was a virgin...)
Anyway, she managed to keep her country free, her ministers subordinate, and live pretty much as she wanted to live for almost 50 years. On top of that, she was one of the first to realize that religion was a lousy excuse for burning a man, and pursued the first "don't ask, don't tell" policy (re religion) in history. "I have no desire to make windows into men's souls." (Eventually she did have to send some people to the fire, but they did keep trying to kill her.) Yes, she was overdressed. Yes, she was vain. Yes, she was an autocrat. But she also said, and I believe she meant it, "There will never Queen sit in my seat with more zeal to my country,
care to my subjects and that will sooner with willingness venture her
life for your good and safety than myself. For it is my desire to live
nor reign no longer than my life and reign shall be for your good. And
though you have had, and may have, many princes more mighty and wise
sitting in this seat, yet you never had nor shall have, any that will be
more careful and loving." She made GREAT speeches.
Okay, on to pop culture.
Emma Peel. In an age when most women were running screaming from villains and tripping at the first available opportunity, or huddling in fear, waiting to be rescued, Mrs. Peel was the first woman I ever saw who rescued the guy. She was beautiful, well-educated, athletic, musical, stylish, witty, and could kick some serious butt. And she had class. Whatever happened between her and Steed or her and anyone else was private. The double-entendres were subtle (and oh, how I miss those days!). I admit that the plots of "The Avengers" ranged from clever to just plain stupid, but I never missed an episode.
Harriet Vane. I hear that some people feel about her the way I feel about Susan Silverman although I don't understand why. To me, Harriet was an intelligent, well-educated, witty, musical, athletic woman who could solve a murder just as well as her would-be lover and future husband, Lord Peter Wimsey. I also liked that she wasn't physically beautiful - not all of us are - and it didn't matter, to Peter or to herself. She had a wonderful voice, could look striking, was passionate and intellectual and liked a good wine. And she had a successful writing career, supporting herself so that she was dependent on no one but herself. I liked all of it.
Nora Charles. (Note to Dorothy, I changed my mind: I'll take Nick over Sam any day.) Fun. Smart. Witty. Great marriage. Good times. Can't ask for much more than that...
NOTE: During the next 3-4 weeks, my husband and I will be moving to the bottom floor of an old school in Madison - lots of room, so we're not downsizing too much. Anyway, this means chaos, heartburn, aching backs, and not too much writing. I've logged ahead my blog posts for the month, but I may not be checking in as much as usual. Forgive me, and I will say hi when I can!
Showing posts with label women. Show all posts
Showing posts with label women. Show all posts
31 January 2013
Role Models
by Eve Fisher
Labels:
Elizabeth I,
Emma Peel,
Eve Fisher,
Harriet Vane,
Nora Charles,
women
21 October 2012
Vive la Différence Part 2
by Leigh Lundin
by Leigh Lundin
Straight from my eMailbox last week I mentioned a few reasons why women contend men are happy beasts. Naturally, scientists have developed a test to determine guynicity and naturally SleuthSayers proudly brings it to you.
How to Score: Give one point for every time you picked answer 'c'. A real guy would score at least 10 on this test. In fact, a real guy would score at least 15, because he would receive the special five-point bonus for getting the tasteless dead pedophile in the bar joke.
© unknown |
Straight from my eMailbox last week I mentioned a few reasons why women contend men are happy beasts. Naturally, scientists have developed a test to determine guynicity and naturally SleuthSayers proudly brings it to you.
How to Score: Give one point for every time you picked answer 'c'. A real guy would score at least 10 on this test. In fact, a real guy would score at least 15, because he would receive the special five-point bonus for getting the tasteless dead pedophile in the bar joke.
Labels:
Leigh Lundin,
men,
women
Location:
KwaZulu-Natal, South Africa
14 October 2012
Vive la Différence Part 1
by Leigh Lundin
by Leigh Lundin
I've written about the difference between men and women, a topic I find fascinating. It's fraught with danger (I don't think I've ever written 'fraught' before), laced with intrigue, and often enjoyable if not politically correct– which I don't plan becoming anytme soon. Besides, relationships shouldn't be political, despite becoming politicized through the decades.
For some time, I've received eMails titled Why Men are Happy and Why Men are Never Depressed. These have arrived in multiple editions over such a span that I noticed additions, deletions, and edits as these eMails passed through multiple hands. (Many versions can be found on-line.) Cathy Guisewite they're not, but some are fun.
Occasionally guys receive word they might not be pulling their weight in a relationship. Although the foolish might mount a vigorous defense, the wise will probably gather that 20% is not a reasonable balance nor does grilling or any other chore that might be considered enjoyable (fishing, winemaking, working on the car, sitting at the computer, watching basketball) weigh toward the ultimate accounting.
Yes, accounting, because there's a balance sheet and many other factors intrude and guys have a lot to account for. For example, here's a diary circulating on FaceBook:
Guys don't worry about the same things, snoring for example. A fellow can blissfully snore loud enough to crack ceiling plaster, but a woman will stay awake half the night waiting until her man falls asleep so he doesn't hear her snores set off car alarms. The thing is, a guy doesn't mind. First, it makes his woman human, but he also might find her snoring comforting and snap awake if she suddenly stops.
Guys irritate women in ways that are incomprehensible to men. Take finding things. Scientific American says the spatial parts of our brains evolved differently: cavemen traveled the hills and dales hunting mammoths and eventually found their way back home, while cavewomen kept their home running, wrestling leg-o-sarus into the cookpot, fried the bronto-burgers, mended woolies and loincloths for the family, and scrubbed the cave walls clean from their children's drawings. Whereas a male could find his way to a sabretooth carcass on flint ridge (without asking directions), he couldn't find the bone-handled knife in his own cave.
But his woman could, an effect Rosanne Barr in her stand-up comedy called the uterine locator. Back in our unevolved days, the cavewoman yelled, "Why do you keep asking me? Do I look like I know where everything is? Why don't you find it yourself, you're perfectly capable. What, you can't squeeze those big shoulders through the kitchen door? Because that's where it is, in the kitchen, under the sink, behind the second pot on the third shelf in the yellow box marked 'stuff.'"
There could be a wry Linda Ellerbee observation here, but let's move on to that balance sheet…
The Unbearable Lightness of Being Male
© unknown |
I've written about the difference between men and women, a topic I find fascinating. It's fraught with danger (I don't think I've ever written 'fraught' before), laced with intrigue, and often enjoyable if not politically correct– which I don't plan becoming anytme soon. Besides, relationships shouldn't be political, despite becoming politicized through the decades.
For some time, I've received eMails titled Why Men are Happy and Why Men are Never Depressed. These have arrived in multiple editions over such a span that I noticed additions, deletions, and edits as these eMails passed through multiple hands. (Many versions can be found on-line.) Cathy Guisewite they're not, but some are fun.
Occasionally guys receive word they might not be pulling their weight in a relationship. Although the foolish might mount a vigorous defense, the wise will probably gather that 20% is not a reasonable balance nor does grilling or any other chore that might be considered enjoyable (fishing, winemaking, working on the car, sitting at the computer, watching basketball) weigh toward the ultimate accounting.
Yes, accounting, because there's a balance sheet and many other factors intrude and guys have a lot to account for. For example, here's a diary circulating on FaceBook:
Guys don't worry about the same things, snoring for example. A fellow can blissfully snore loud enough to crack ceiling plaster, but a woman will stay awake half the night waiting until her man falls asleep so he doesn't hear her snores set off car alarms. The thing is, a guy doesn't mind. First, it makes his woman human, but he also might find her snoring comforting and snap awake if she suddenly stops.
Guys irritate women in ways that are incomprehensible to men. Take finding things. Scientific American says the spatial parts of our brains evolved differently: cavemen traveled the hills and dales hunting mammoths and eventually found their way back home, while cavewomen kept their home running, wrestling leg-o-sarus into the cookpot, fried the bronto-burgers, mended woolies and loincloths for the family, and scrubbed the cave walls clean from their children's drawings. Whereas a male could find his way to a sabretooth carcass on flint ridge (without asking directions), he couldn't find the bone-handled knife in his own cave.
But his woman could, an effect Rosanne Barr in her stand-up comedy called the uterine locator. Back in our unevolved days, the cavewoman yelled, "Why do you keep asking me? Do I look like I know where everything is? Why don't you find it yourself, you're perfectly capable. What, you can't squeeze those big shoulders through the kitchen door? Because that's where it is, in the kitchen, under the sink, behind the second pot on the third shelf in the yellow box marked 'stuff.'"
There could be a wry Linda Ellerbee observation here, but let's move on to that balance sheet…
The Unbearable Lightness of Being Male
- Wedding plans take care of themselves.
- Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
- Your last name stays put.
- You can never be pregnant.
- The garage is all yours.
- You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
- Car mechanics tell you the truth.
- You can open all your own jars.
- Chocolate is just another snack.
- Your underwear is $9.95 for a three-pack.
- You almost never have strap problems in public.
- New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
- Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
- One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color for all seasons.
- You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
- You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
- You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
- You can wear no shirt to a water park.
- You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
- The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.
- You don't have to shave below your neck.
- You have freedom of choice about growing a mustache.
- Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
- Your bathroom has soap, towel, toothbrush, and shaving gear, nothing more.
- You don't have to dress up to get the mail.
- You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
- Wrinkles add character.
- Everything on your face stays its original color.
- People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
- One mood all the time.
- Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
- You can leave the motel bed unmade.
- You can kill your own food.
- You can shop in under two minutes.
- You know stuff about tanks.
- You don't have to know anything about celebrities and their relationships.
- You don't have to know anything about your friends' relationships.
- You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
- No maxi-pads.
- A five-day vacation requires one suitcase.
- You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
- If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become good friends.
- If someone forgets to invite you, they can still be your friend.
- You can call your buddy f•ckface and still be friends.
- You play with toys all your life.
- You wake up looking the same as you went to bed, maybe better.
- You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
…and… - You can ask a woman where to find things.
Labels:
Leigh Lundin,
men,
women
Location:
KwaZulu-Natal, South Africa
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