18 July 2023

Five Red Herrings: 12


1. Sounds of Suspense.  If you are a fan of Alfred Hitchcock you might want to head over to BBC Sounds and listen (for free) to Benny and Hitch, a radio play by Andrew McCaldon about the highly productive and finally explosive relationship between the director and composer Bernard Herrmann. They collaborated on eight movies, including some of the Master's best.  (He said Herrmann deserved one-third of the credit for Psycho's success - although, as the play points out, he didn't share the profits with him.)  Tim McInnerny and Toby Jones star and the BBC Concert Orchestra performs Herrmann's music. 

2. The Customer is Cussible.  If you have a few thousand hours to spare I highly recommend Not Always Right, a website designed for people in retail to complain anonymously about customers.  They have since added: Not Always Legal, Healthy, Family, etc.

So far I have collected three short story ideas from the website.  Here is an example of what they offer:

I work at a musical instrument store. A customer is trying to buy something when the checkout shows me a code indicating that the card is registered as stolen.

Me: “Sorry, the checkout is buggy today and it’s locked. I just need to fetch my manager to fix it.”

I tell my manager, and he and the salesman stall long enough for the cops to get there. Three or four officers come in, ask the guy a few questions, and then arrest him.

The best part is that, as the guy is being hauled out in handcuffs, he starts shouting back at us.

Thief: “The service here is terrible! I’m going to tell everyone I know not to shop here!”

3. Play Free Bird. This next piece is off-topic but it is certainly about publishing. In November 1951 a group of friends went hunting in Ireland.  One of them, Sir Hugh Beaver, fired at a golden plover and missed. This led to a debate over which was the fastest game bird in Europe. 

Unable to find the answer easily, Beaver realized that a book which provided this sort of information would be hugely popular (and profitable) to settle arguments in pubs.  So he convinced the brewery for which he worked to publish one: the Guinness Book of World Records has been selling millions ever since.  So a failed hunting trip  was one of the most profitable expeditions in publishing history...

4. Definitely not me.  Do you ever vanity google yourself? No? Liar.  

I had a nasty shock recently when I did that.  In 2019 Salvatore Lopresti and his son Robert Lopresti of Bristol England, were accused of Modern Slavery for forcing a disabled man to work in their ice cream shop.  Nasty story.

5. Is the Rule Forgotten?  Take a look at the photo here.  Does that actress (Nicola Walker) have blond hair? If not then ITV has violated the international rule I have pointed out in the past: All police shows about cops who investigate cold cases must be headed by blond women.   

Whaver their hairstyle the show is worth watching, although Season Four was, well, forgettable.  I hear Season Five is coming soon.


9 comments:

  1. And in many Nordic police shows, the lead blonde female detective must not be allowed to brush her hair.

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, the day of the expensively coiffed bedhead!

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  2. Interesting post, Robert. I recently put my name into a search engine and discovered I had died—twice. Being dead, should I continue writing?
    Edward Lodi

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  3. Robert, I'm laughing! I use Nicola Walker in my post coming this Saturday! On a related topic: Why I Watch Brit Crime Shows (instead of American). Interesting fact: did you know 65% of women in the US are blonde, but only 5% are naturally so? You'd think us rare dark auburns would be more valued under the circumstances (grin)

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    Replies
    1. Well, they have to be blonde to work for Fox News, if that's their goal.

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  4. I have to say, as a huge Nicola Walker fan, that Season 4 of UNFORGOTTEN was unforgiveable! OTOH, Season 5 brings back Sunny Khan, so I'm in.

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  5. I remember with great fondness working (briefly) as a typist of telephone calls made from clients to insurance claims adjusters. Some of the stories were unbelievable, like the guy who crashed his car when a coffin lid fell down out of a clear blue sky and landed on his hood...

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  6. Very, very, very interesting, Rob. I can't recall if I've seen 3 or 4 seasons of Unforgotten, but yeah, d'accord.

    I google my name and up pops Leigh Lundin obituary. I haven't dared read it, just in case that infamous stone mason is still chipping names into tombstones.

    ReplyDelete

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