17 June 2016

Comicon Results

By Dixon Hill

 ComicCon results from two weeks ago:
 "Zombie's one -- Human's zero!"

That, at least, is the way our nurse claimed that the X-ray tech reported the results of my wife's foot exam two Saturdays ago.  Those of you who read my last post, know that my son attended ComicCon in Phoenix.  But, what I didn't tell you is that my wife, Madeleine, went with him on Saturday because I had to work.

The first thing they did, upon entering, was scramble up to the top floor of the Phoenix Convention Center to the Zombie fighting exhibit, in which patrons pay a buck to be issued a cap gun and make their way through a cloth maze populated by folks dressed as zombies, who in-turn growl, lunge, grab at, and sometimes lightly grasp said patrons as they pass.  Want to make the zombie quit attacking you, shoot it in the head with your cap gun.

My wife understood the rules -- All but one!

You have to shoot a zombie in the HEAD, because that's the seat of the creature's malfunctioning brain.  My wife blazed away at the zombies, who mostly fell down -- except for one female of he species, who kept coming back for more.  When she snatched at Madeleine's foot, my wife stepped back and turned in the same instant.

Her reward?  The zombie gave up, and the fifth metatarsal (the long bone in the foot behind the pinky toe) on Mad's right foot went POP!  A spiral fracture, which the doctor said is sometimes called, "The dancer's break," due to the rotating back step that often proves the catalyst.  My wife, whom I first met while we both members of the  101st Airborne Division, then proceeded to accompany my son through the rest of that day's Comicon, a task that necessitates walking for (quite literally -- in the true sense of the word) miles.

She proved a sensation at the hospital that evening, however.  Nurses and orderlies kept sneeking in to ask, "Is it true?  You broke your foot fighting zombies?  How AWESOME!"

"You're a celebrity," I told her.

"We're getting old."  She shook her head.  "They aren't excited about the zombies.  It's the idea that an old lady broke her foot while fighting zombies.  That's what they find awesome."

"Oh, that's not true," I replied.

"Yes it is.  And we are getting old."
Our sons, Joe (with beard) and Quentin (red shirt,cowboy hat)
appear on the evening news, in a story about Comicon.

"Your not old!  You're not even fifty, honey!"

She rolled her eyes.  "You're killing me here.  You're killing me."

Maybe I should have said, "...not even forty...."

Both of my feet still work, so duty calls.

I'll see you again in two weeks!



  1. Hey, there are adventurous "wow-I-wish-I-could-have-tried-that" stories about breaking bones, and there are dull "how-stodgy-are-you" stories about breaking bones. This is a GREAT story and one that's especially great for anyone over about 18 years old. If you gotta' snap something, this is the way to do it! :-)

  2. Good luck to your wife with her foot. My husband just came out of 6 plus weeks in a walking cast and he couldn't even claim to have been fighting zombies. Patience seems to be the key to healing up!

  3. Ooooh, snap! Hope your wife heals quickly and no, I think the nurse really was in awe that ANYONE broke their foot while fighting zombies. You go, girl!

  4. Good job, Dix. You turned a common type bad experience... Well, guess I can't claim that fighting zombies is a common everyday experience, although zombies do seem to be on television a lot these days. Anyway, you took a painful experience and wrote it into something to laugh about. It's a good story.

  5. Thanks for the laugh (although I don't suppose your wife found it funny).

  6. Well, Herschel, when I called her at work today, to check on her, she told me she's really beginning to feel much more mobile and less "wounded" as she put it. And, I'm glad to note that the chipper tone never left her voice through it all; she's maintained her wry, smarta$* personality. As usual, we've laughed along at everything, together -- one of the biggest reasons I can't help loving her.

    R.T. the story wrote itself. I wrote "just the facts, ma'am," as Joe Friday might have put it (Though not when talking to you, obviously! lol).

    That's what I told her, Eve. Seriously, you wouldn't believe how many people came sneaking into the room to hear the story. lol

    Janice, I'm glad to say Mad didn't get a cast. Instead they issued her a sort of strap-on boot -- Velcro straps to tighten it when she needs, and an integral air pump to make the sides expand for added support.

    Anon, I'd say you're right. Though, walking around Comicon, going up and down all three floors of the convention center, for hours afterward, might not be the best idea. ;-)

  7. Madeleine gets the nomination for game wife and mother of the year!

  8. Thank you all for the 'get wells'. The foot is healing up nicely!! I have to say if your going to break your foot, this is the best way to do it. The story alone is worth a million bucks...to see someone face light up when I start, "I took my son to Comicon and was fighting zombies..." Is so worth all the pain and hassle!!


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