22 January 2022

Wanna be a Paperback Writer? Ten things you didn't know


Alternate title… Perils of Publishing…
How to keep sane while traversing a career in the wilds of publishing.

Hello there!  Melodie here, with more shop talk about the perils of publishing.  Oh, how I miss those writer gabfests in the bar at the Drake Hotel where we did what authors like to do best when they get together. Which is, bitch about the industry.

There are many steps to becoming a published author with a traditional house, and each one is a milestone.  First, you finish that book (pass the scotch.)  Then, you bag an agent if you're lucky (more than a wee dram for that.)  Then, you get a contract for your first book (break out the champagne.)

You make it through that fiendish obstacle course, and people think you've got it made.  Hell, YOU think you've got it made.  All you need to do now is write!  Other people will take care of all the rest of it.  But believe me, everything is not clear sailing from there.

Strange things happen in publishing.  Things that not even a clairvoyant with a crystal ball could predict. 

You may say, "Oh, she's being so far-fetched.  That'll never happen."  But let me tell you, every one of these things have happened to me.

And guess what?  I'm still standing.  (okay, sitting in a comfy chair while typing this)  Still writing.  And still getting published.

Welcome to the insane, inane world of publishing.

1.  Your agent - the one from New York who finally agreed to represent you after months of negotiation...the one who was negotiating a deal with Ace Fantasy in England and Berkley Paranormal at home, will kick the bucket before cementing a deal (no disrespect meant.  He was a class guy.)  Worse, no one in his office will let you know for two months.  Worse, you didn't think to question the length of time between emails, because he was so lousy at getting back to you in the first place.

2.  The ad campaign that was carefully planned and paid for by your publisher will feature an ad where the title of your book is misspelled in such a way that not even Saturday Night Live could have come up with it.  Or saved it.

Rowena and the Dark Lard may be a great name for a cookbook. But it is unfortunately not the sort of thing to entice readers of epic fantasy to part with their money.  (real name of book:  Rowena and the Dark Lord)

3.  The book that was an outlier (Sci-fi) that your publisher loved, that your pals thought was your best, that got so many good reviews on Amazon...will go nowhere.

4.   The publisher that took a chance on you, believed in you, applauded when your book was featured on USA today and helped to bring your book series to bestseller status, will go out of business.

5.   You can't get the rights back for the covers of those books because the artist who worked for the house has disappeared off the face of the earth.

6.   Your next publisher - the one with the world-wide reputation and selling legs - will decide to close the line your series is in, even though your books are bestsellers for them.

7.  And the unfunny one - Someone closest to you will die the week your 15th book comes out, such that the book receives no attention at all for the year-plus you are in heavy grief.

8.  Back to funny - Your 16th book will come out the first month of a world-wide Pandemic, and all promotion events will be canceled for at least two years.

9.  More pandemic humour - You will be asked to emcee a prestigious book award event, which will be cancelled due to the pandemic.

10.  And More - Your 17th book will be held up in production at least 6 months due to a paper shortage worldwide.

I used to tell my writing classes that you need three things to become a writer:  You need talent.  You need to learn the craft.  And you need passion.

I've now decided that the most important thing you need to continue to be a writer is a healthy sense of humour! (and a big supply of scotch)

So raise a toast to all the authors out there who continue to write and publish, while continually having to face loopy hurdles like the above.

How about you?  Would love to hear more Perils of Publishing stories in the comments below.

Melodie Campbell continues to write books and short stories south of Toronto, in spite of the perils. You can find her books in all the usual suspects.

19 comments:

  1. Thumbs up to you, Melody, for persevering in your writing despite all the setbacks.

    We all probably have many stories to tell about the unpleasantnesses at the Baloney Club called publishing. My first publisher embezzled my royalties by publishing two first editions of my third novel. Yeah, two first editions. . . He didn't tell me about the second first printing that was in circulation, keeping all the money earned. A few years ago, a representative of the publisher told me tall tales of how he would recommend my new book to bookstore owners - only he didn't. When I found out and informed the publisher, all the bookstores that are part of the rep's network turned their backs on me. Result: the sale of the next book was a flop. Yeah, the world of publishing is so nice, so pleasant. We could write volumes about it!

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    1. Good grief, that is a helluva story, Anne! Can't top that.

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  2. This is a great opening chapter, Melodie, and I can add to Anne's story with a crooked publisher. After 350 rejections (69 for the book that finally sold), I got an acceptance letter from a new local publisher. I should have had an agent or lawyer read the contract, though. Everything was skewed against me, and I didn't figure it out until months later. By then, I had proof that the publisher wasn't reporting all my sales to me, anyway. My accountant said we could audit their books, but probably wouldn't make enough to pay for the audit.

    That was when I began self-publishing. I have heard similar stories from other writers at the same now defunct publisher.

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  3. Steve, I guess I've been lucky in that regard. All three of my publishers have been extremely honourable. I am getting an eye opener with the comments today!

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  4. Melodie, I absolutely relate to this! I finally got an agent many years ago, things seemed to be going well, then he disappeared. After a long gap he finally got in touch and told me his wife had kicked him up, he was living in his car, and she had his computer and all his files. And then I never heard from him again. I also had a book (non-fiction) come out right at the beginning of the pandemic; I think it has sold 12 copies or something. It is a crazy life.

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    1. Oh Teresa, I am laughing! At least he had a good excuse for disappearing (did she have a contract out on him too? grin) Yes, I can relate to the sales, sigh.

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    2. I had a book come out in the pandemic, and sales have been extremely slow. Is this true for everybody?

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  5. I can't comment on the world of paperback publishing, because so far I haven't done it. But I think surviving the arts world in general requires the hide of a rhinoceros, the sense of humor that never runs out, and regular consumption of your favorite alcohol. (Dylan Thomas said much the same and added that it also required a home in the provinces to go back to whenever you broke down.)

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  6. Oh, I do like Dylan's advice. Thanks for that, Eve!

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  7. First, YOU WIN! That said, I might deserve an Honorable Mention for making it into print after three failed projects, 200+ rejections and a family health crisis, only to have an April 2020 debut. I actually had a book signing scheduled for Pub Day. Needless to say, I STILL haven't signed for readers in the wild!

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    1. Oh no! April 2020? Curses! One day we'll be out there Kathleen. And we will rock this town! (Or whatever town...I'll be happy to rock anywhere when we get clear this pandemic)

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  8. And you need stamina! Great post, Melodie. I've had a few setbacks, and yes, definitely got up in the great pandemic stall. All of my experiences (2 agents who didn't come through and 1 publisher who folded and another who let go of most of her mystery authors) turned me to self-publishing. I'm still working up the courage to query agents about my urban fantasy...the journey, in all its weirdness, continues.

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    1. Man, Deb, that's just not fair! You figure, you finally got a trad publisher or an agent, and you'll be set. Good thing we have a sense of humour, eh?

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  9. I don't think my stories match the horror of some of yours, but I too have had my frustrations with traditional publishers. My first sale was to Bantam, who asked for a sequel, then dropped both books when I'd nearly finished the second one. For reasons they never explained to my agent but I read they'd done a bunch of list cutting. Fortunately, I was able to keep my advance. Two other books finally saw the light of day with St. Martin's Press, but by the time the first book was published I was on my third editor in the house, the books went nowhere, and I felt orphaned after that.

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    1. Bruce, I've had similar bad luck with Bantam, who wanted huge changes, and then the line changed it's focus and then...poop. I should have mentioned that - houses changing editors who change the focus of the line, and leave books as orphans - thanks for commenting!

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  10. Melodie, congrats for sticking with it in spite of everything! The closest thing I have is the story of when I was playing open-mic-nights at our local comedy club and after years of doing that the club manager hired me as their emcee/opening act (for a weekly salary that was about what I was making monthly at my fast food job!) but when I showed up the next week the club had closed! It was one of a small chain and the guy who ran the one in Kansas City had not been paying rent so they went bankrupt! Owch!

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    1. Jeff, that hurts! I wrote comedy for years, and can just imagine the breakthrough you had and then...rats.

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  11. Your publisher decided to print 187,000 copies of your first novel…then does absolutely zero promotion. Career: Dead on Arrival.

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    1. Jeesh - that is an incredible first printing, Virginia. So frustrating! Thanks for commenting.

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