Why would ANYONE want to write a Novel? (a humorous post)

Wacky thoughts as my 21st novel hits bookstores across the continent...

I actually wrote my first novel on a dare.  This is not a particularly good reason to embark on such an endeavor, and probably illustrates exactly why my kids think I shouldn’t be allowed outside of the condo without a leash.

But true, it is.  Some years ago, I was having a good time at the bar of the Toronto Press Club, and a local columnist (an older guy) said to me, “You’ve written comedy, you’re a syndicated columnist, and you’ve got a slew of short story publications to your name.  Why haven’t you written a novel?”

Upshot, he dared me.  Since then, I have sworn off scotch and older men.

That doesn’t tell the whole story though.

I love writing fiction.  I wrote my first story at eight, and won my first award at eighteen. 

It started even before that.  At four, I was making up stories.  My parents called it lying. I figure that was short-sighted of them.

Still, after 21 books, I have to ask myself, Why would ANYONE want to write a novel?  Truly, I don't understand why so many people do.

Writing a short story is FUN!

Writing a novel is HARD.

It takes me a year to write a 70,000 word novel.  Tons of research and 1000 hours of slumping over a keyboard.  This is a peculiar way to spend your time.  Wouldn’t it be more fun to be out on the golf course?  Or meeting friends for lunch?

Speaking of friends...my pal and colleague Lisa de Nikolits puts it so well:

 "I keep telling myself it's an honour and a privilege to still be on the playing field while so many others aren't and that's true, but still - more work rewarded by more work!"

(Lisa joins us in June for a guest column.) 

I suspect new novelists like to think they will achieve fame with a novel, that they couldn’t achieve with a collection of published short stories in respectable magazines.  I don’t know about that.  That hasn't been my experience.  You can have ten awards, and continual contracts and still not be a household name.  

Not to mention, everybody who can sit at a keyboard feels they have the right to criticize your year's work. 

So why do I do it? I really have to wonder.  I'm not sure the answer below will satisfy even me.

I seem to have this mental illness that involves characters in my head demanding that I write their stories.  If I try to ignore them, it gets awfully noisy in there, and I can’t think.

Or put another way, writing novels is cheaper than a therapist.

Melodie Campbell fights with her characters while thumping out their stories on the shore of Lake Ontario.  Her 21^st book, The Pharaoh’s Curse Murders, is now available at B&N, Amazon, Chapters/Indigo and all the usual suspects..  If you like the humour in The Goddaughter series, look for Pizza Wars, first in a new novella-length series!  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You can't take the Italian out of the Writer

It’s been brought to my attention that some readers here might not know that I got my start writing stand-up.  (30 years later, I have to work hard to simply stand up, but that’s another column.)

It’s also quite possible that since I collect husbands with Celtic last names (Campbell and O’Connell), readers might not know that I am predominantly Italian.

So when I was asked by Gemma Media – a terrific publisher of short, easy to read adult books- to write a crime series for them, it was just possible that my Italian background might come through.  As it did for The Goddaughter series.  As it did for…okay, all the others.  I’m an Italian gal masquerading as a WASP, and I couldn’t keep a straight face if they ironed and botoxed it.

Melodie Campbell is Canada’s “Queen of Comedy” – The Toronto Sun

Comedy is my lifeline.  Laughter is my survival kit.  I love the Merry Widow Murder series that I’m currently writing for Cormorant books.  It has humour in the form of my beloved character Elf.  But I miss the old standup days.

Writing PIZZA WARS brought me back to my early comedy-writing days.  It’s perhaps my most loopy book.  Take a city (Hamilton) that’s known for steel mills.  Take a population where a good many came from Sicily between the wars. 

Take all that, try to fit it into a Police precinct, arm the place with Officer Rita “Mom” Gallo, and you can have some pretty funny things take place.

After all, who needs a gun when you have a wooden spoon?

Now available!  At Amazon, and all the usual suspects.  (If you like The Goddaughter books, check out PIZZA WARS!)

 

When They Stop Teaching the Classics...and Cursive

I heard recently that the school district I am in has decided to stop teaching Shakespeare.  That alarms me for so many reasons, but also for a personal one.

Quite simply, I'm having a hard time finding books to use as examples in teaching fiction writing.

I used to have a lovely example, when trying to show what was meant by 'plot'.  I'd ask my class:  "What is the plot of Gone with the Wind?"

Several people would put up their hands, and say, "It's about the Civil War." 

And I would say, "No it isn't.  You've just described setting.  The SETTING of Gone with the Wind is the civil war.  The PLOT is something like this:  Scarlet O'Hara falls in love with a man who does not return her love, and she spends the entire civil war chasing after him.  Until in the end, she decides other things are more important."

Lots of Ohs! and Ahs!  Smiles all around.

Flash forward to my last term. I ask the same question of the class (all adults):  "What is the plot of Gone with the Wind?"

Not a single hand went up.

Nobody had read it or even seen the movie.

Me:  "Come on, people!  I can't use Harry Potter for EVERY example!"  (lots of laughter)

Yes, Harry Potter seemed to be the only book everyone in the class had read.  And - dare I say it - most had seen the movie Twilight (but not necessarily read the book.)  This does not leave a lot for me to reference as examples.

Further gripe: 

So here we are today, taking Shakespeare out of the school system.  Does anyone honestly think kids will read Shakespeare on their own?  Are we honestly to face a world in which no one knows the lessons learned in The Scottish Play, Hamlet, The Merchant of Venice, The Tempest, the Richards and Henry's?  And so many more.

A world in which I could say, "He would make a great Caliban" in a business meeting, and no one would know what I meant?  (I made the mistake of saying that once.  Probably not my best political move...)

So this leads me to my latest fear:

I hear they are no longer teaching Cursive.  Which means, in a few years, only a very very few people will be able to read any historical documents.  Any manuscripts in the original.

In fact, I was told today that a California town is asking people who know Cursive to apply for town jobs. 

Does this not scare others?  When only a few can access original text, I worry that everything will be 'as interpreted' by a central body.  

We already know how Homer's work was translated and tinkered with by men centuries ago to change and sometimes diminish the role of women in it.

Dammit, I'm worried.  I want a world where everyone is given the chance to be exposed to ideas.

Not a world where only a few can refute the masters (AI or other) who control the narrative.

Melodie Campbell worries and writes on the shores of Lake Ontario.  Her latest book (available for pre-order everwhere) was given the following review by BOOKLIST (we're permitted to post one sentence in advance of issue date):

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Festivus! (a fun post)

This year, we have decided to embrace the spirit of Festivus.  This is because, I am the quintessential Canadian mutt.  Four parts Italian, one part Irish, one part English, a touch Chippewa, and the final bit was confusing. 

The Italian part is easy to explain.  Every year, my Sicilian grandmother put the plastic lighted crucifixes (made in Japan) in glaring rainbow colours, on the Christmas tree.  I was a bit confused by that, not only because it was gawd-awful tacky and fought with my budding interior designer.  But the part in the 10 Commandments about ‘no graven images’ seemed to be at risk here.

Nevertheless, we all looked forward to the blazing orange, green and red crucifixes, unaware that it was a sort of macabre thing to do to a Christmas tree.  Did I mention Halloween is my favorite holiday?

The Chippewa part was a tad more elusive.  I first got a hint that there might have been First Nations blood in our family when someone asked why we put ground venison in our traditional Christmas Eve spaghetti sauce.  True, we had a freezer full of deer, moose, salmon, and not much else.  Later, it occurred to me that I actually hadn’t tasted beef until I was ten, when for my birthday, Dad took us to the A&W for a real treat.  “This tastes weird,” I said, wrinkling my nose.  “It’s made from cow,” Dad said.

Of course, if I had been more on the ball, there were other clues.  But at the age of six, you don’t necessarily see things as out of the norm.  That summer in Toronto, I loved day camp.  They split us kids into groups named for First Nations tribes.  By happy coincidence, I got placed in the Chippewa tribe.  When I got home and announced this, the reaction was: “Thank God it wasn’t Mohawk.” 

The camp leaders were really impressed with my almost-authentic costume.  (Everyone else was wearing painted pillow cases.)

There's more, but it can be nicely summed up by saying that someone in the extended family always managed to put Halvah in my Christmas stocking.  The tradition continues. Talk about confusing...

So this year, I will put beef in the Italian spaghetti sauce, we’ll put up a Festivus tree, and there will be Halvah.  Happy Festivus to all!

Melodie Campbell celebrates Festivus on the shores of Lake Ontario, where she continues to write silly stuff for unsuspecting publishers.

 

 

Criminal Words! (how I miss Latin!) (a fun post)

Here's what happens when you're teaching college these days:  humorous cultural references go right over the head of many of your students.

This was brought home when I was teaching a humour writing class (ages 18-50), and started with a survey of the greatest skits of all time.  

Remember this one?  Wayne and Shuster (probably our best export from Canada) and the infamous

 Rinse the Blood off my Toga.

Frank goes into Cicero's Bar (I have to snicker at that alone!) and strolls up to the bar:

Frank:  "Give me a martinus. 

Cicero:   "You mean a martini."

Frank:  "If I want more than one, I'll ask for it!"

Zing!  Over the head of everyone in my class.   

Honestly.  Did they all miss the Latin slogan on Roger Ramjet?  (let's see who remembers, in the comments)

Now, I went to high school in the mid-70s, when Latin had pretty well disappeared in BC and Ontario high schools.  However, I had an Italian mother, and a Brit father who was a lover of Latin and the arcane.  So early on, when learning street Italian, I got a taste of the Latin basics.

Things like (feel free to correct my spelling):

Nil illegitimi carborundum

(a Dad favourite, which he translated to: Don't Let the Bastards Grind You Down

Which brings me to this nifty little book that I was given a few years back.

LATIN FOR ALL OCCASIONS, by Henry Beard.

Truly, I wonder how the rest of the world manages without these handy translations.  (Notice I've chosen ones that might be especially useful to my er family.)

      I have a catapult.  Give me all the money or I will fling an enormous rock at your head.

Catapultam habeo.  Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.

 

     Look at the time!  My wife will kill me!

Di! Ecce hora! Exor mea me necabil!

 

    I didn't expect you home so soon!

Non sperabam te domum tam cito revenire!

 

    Do you by any chance happen to own a large, yellowish, very flat cat?

Estne tibi forte magna feles  fulva et planissima? 

 

    Things to say to your Lawyer:  You charge how much an hour?

Quantum in una hora imputas? 

 

   Watch out - you might end up divided  into three parts, like Gaul.

Prospice tibi - ut Gallia, tu quoque in tres parte dividaris.

 

   You and whose army?

Tutene Atque cuius exercitus?

 

   What did you call me?

Quid me appellavisti? 

 

 And finally...bringing it back to me...

A comedian, huh?

ita vero  esne comoedus? 

                                          (Any errors in spelling are mine.)

 

Next  time I'll talk about how not a single person in my college  fiction writing class could tell me the plot of Gone with the Wind, because nobody had seen it.  (Let alone read it.)  <Hits head against desk>

Melodie Campbell laments the demise of cultural references while writing wacky stuff in the True North.  The Toronto Sun called her Canada's Queen of Comedy.

What it takes to Survive Decades in this Business!

Michael's column in October reminded me of how long we'd both been in the business, and what it takes to stay here and be continually published.

In a word:  

Versatility

As Michael pointed out, we are seeing a time of catastrophic change in the writers' market.  Magazines and publishing houses are closing shop.  Entire subgenres are disappearing from the shelves.

I saw a version of this happen in the 90s, when I was first teaching genre fiction writing.  The romance market was in crisis.  Why?  Because even in a romance book, you need conflict.  You need a reason why the two leads can't get together.  It used to be we had class, money, religion, race, and all those lovely things to keep people apart.  Things they would have to overcome to be together.

Now, if you look at cosmopolitan Toronto (7 million+) for instance, those conflicts seem rather quaint nowadays.  None of the young adults in my class would buy such reasons for not getting together.  In fact, when I challenged my last class to come up with a realistic reason why a young Toronto man and woman (or same sex) couldn't get together, a single (older) man came up with this glorious reason:  the traffic!

Ever wonder about those Vampires? 

Humour aside (as if I can ever do that) the writers of romance had to come up with a way to introduce new conflict into their 70,000 word romance novels.  And guess what happened?  The vampire age was born!  Now, *there's* conflict.  Young lady falls for a gorgeous young something she thinks is a man, but is actually a vampire, and he has to control himself to keep from killing her.  You think I kid?  Vampires were the perfect conflict. Ditto Werewolves and Zombies.

And many romance writers became versatile (that word again) writers of Romantasy.  (romance combined with fantasy - very hot right now.)  They followed the market.

Another example?

In 1989, the Berlin Wall came down.  And with it, the spy novels that were in production at the time.  My agent told me that publishers shelved books that were on the production line, because Russian and East Berlin spies were 'so passe'.  

So what did those writers of spy novels do?  They became versatile!  And wrote micro-thrillers.

Myself?  I started by writing short stories.  Some magazines paid me as much as $2000 a story in the 90s.  (or what the young ones are now calling, 'the late 1900s' - gaK)  Ten to fifteen years after that, I was lucky to get an average of $200 a story.

So what did I do, to make money?  I started writing novels.

It was hard for me.  I had to rework the way I came up with plots.  Since I started in the biz as a humour writer, it seemed easiest for me to write comic capers.  I did that for 10 years.

And then a personal tragedy (death of my husband) took me to a very dark place.  I lost my comedy chops for a while, and had to change subgenre.  Now I write historical golden age mystery (although with some humour).

I had to be versatile, in order to still be able to write.

I want to go back to all those writing students I taught - over 2000, through the years, and put this up on the board.

"The key to writing success over the decades?  The ability to be VERSATILE."

So I add to my three things necessary to become a writer. It's now four:

Talent, Craft, Passion and Versatility! 

 

Melodie Campbell writes a bunch of stuff, from the shores of Lake Ontario. 

 

 

 

'Before the Coffee Gets Cold' and How important are Names?

Do character names play a role in whether you will continue reading a book or not?

I once had a middle-aged man in my college fiction writing class, probably my grumpiest student ever.  I try hard to reach all students, and always strive to be cheerful.  (As I've told students, there is a difference between happy and cheerful. You can be cheerful in the company of others, even when going through down times.  All profs know this.)

But this man – there seemed to be nothing I could do to change his opinion of me.  He simply didn't like me. Or so it seemed to me.  Even though I had treated him fairly and kindly.

And so it seemed, until I found out the reason why.  I resembled his ex-wife, and worse, my name was almost the same! (she was a Melanie.  Close enough.)  As you will imagine, it was an acrimonious separation, following her infidelity.  To him, I resembled a scarlet woman.

I can laugh about it now, but it led me to think about how we come to read a book, with our own baggage.  How we tend to tie emotions to names. 

So I asked myself: what if we didn't have preconceived notions about names.  What if - for instance - we had never come across those names before?

I had a chance to test that out this week, while reading Before the Coffee Gets Cold.  This is a charming little book, by a Japanese writer. It's not a crime book; in fact, it's what my colleagues sometimes call a 'woo woo' book - meaning, it involved magic.  The premise is intriguing: if you sit in a certain seat in a coffee house, you can go back in time for the minutes it takes for your coffee to get cold.  Usually about 10 minutes.  It will not change the present, but may help you make decisions about the future.

There was nothing wrong with the translation.  However, I started to read the book, and found myself so bogged down in Japanese names, that I put it down after two chapters. I simply couldn't tell characters apart. 

I read two mystery books in between.  Then, while waiting for my holds to come in at the library, I picked up this book again.  And encountered the same difficulty as before.

The problem?  It came down to, I couldn't recognize the male names from the female names!  I couldn't find a way to tell them apart.  Many names started with K, so that confused me further.    

I was more determined this time,  however.  So I wrote down a cheat sheet.  Wrote the name down and opposite it, and whether the character was male or female. Then I added old or young. I referred to the cheat sheet regularly, to get through the book.

Turns out, the book was charming, and did make me think about our pasts, and what gets left out. By that I mean, the things that never get said.  I'm glad I read it.

But it made me realize how much we depend on names to give us a hint as to whom the characters are.  Male vs female, even older vs young.  Susan and Kathy, I associate with boomer age women, for example.  Helen and Mildred, would be their parent's generation.  Ditto Bob and Ed vs Matt and… well you get the picture.

It also gave me sympathy for people reading foreign language translations of my own work!  Our names could be unfamiliar to them, along with what they suggest. 

Without those signposts, reading becomes much more of a challenge.  Turns out, there is a lot in a name.

Compared to Agatha Christie by The Toronto Star, Melodie Campbell writes capers and golden age mysteries.  The Silent Film Star Murders, book 19, is available at B&N, Chapters/Indigo, Amazon, and all the usual suspects.

Why Do We Read Murder Mysteries?

Anne R. Allen is one of my favourite mystery writers, plus she hosts a Top 100 Writers Digest Blog (link provided below.) Anne is always worth reading, and this post is excellent in it's entirety, but I particularly draw your attention to the comparison to Mozart. (With a name like Melodie, how can I not agree? 😄)

Why Do We Read Mysteries?

by Anne R. Allen

I once met an aspiring writer who had been forced to move in with Mom after a year of rejections and other catastrophes. He dealt with his humiliating situation by criticizing his mother to anybody who would listen.

One of her great sins? She spent every evening reading mystery novels and watching BBC murder
mysteries.

Anne R. Allen, author

"It freaks me out that she's so bloodthirsty," he said. "Why does she want to focus on death every night?" He added, "They're so unrealistic. How can there be any people left in Midsomer with all those murders every week?"

I hear this kind of negativity from readers, too. "Why do you want to write about murder and death? That seems like such a downer. Why don't you write about something more comforting and uplifting?"

But here's the thing: mysteries are uplifting. The classic mystery doesn't focus on death, but what caused it. A mysterious murder causes chaos, but the sleuth finds out whodunnit, brings the culprit to justice, and order is restored. That gives us comfort, especially in times of stress.

Time Magazine reported that during the pandemic, booksellers had a hard time keeping Agatha Christie's novels in stock. People were consuming them like tranquilizers.

A Ride to Safety

I'm not saying that reading a murder mystery is entirely soothing and calm. It's also about confronting our fears. It's like going on a roller coaster ride. The ride may be terrifying at the time, but you know everything will be okay in the end.

Roller coaster riders are not thinking about real-life speeding dangers, or run-away trains, and we don't go on a roller coaster ride because we're having morbid thoughts. It's about the chaotic thrill, followed by a peaceful resolution.

The Challenge of the Puzzle

An article in The New Yorker a few years ago was highly critical of the genre, saying that we mystery authors don't have enough empathy for our victims. But mysteries are not for dwelling on gruesome or tragic deaths. They are puzzles to be solved. We aren't reading them for the emotional journey involved with rich old Aunt Augusta's demise, but to use our intellectual skills to solve a puzzle.

Reading a classic mystery is more like playing the board game "Clue" than studying a real-life killing. We don't empathize with Colonel Mustard or Mrs. Peacock any more than we do with the pawns in a chess game. We're there to solve the puzzle.

It's not a coincidence that a lot of mystery readers are also fans of crossword puzzles. They're both exercises for the mind. A lot of very highbrow literary types also enjoy mysteries. T.S.Elliot was a major fan, and wrote reviews of mysteries for the magazine the Criterion in the late 1920s.

Academics also love mysteries. I once spent a semester at the American Academy in Rome, and it had one of the best libraries of mystery novels I'd ever seen.

A visiting professor at the Academy compared the classic mystery to listening to Mozart. The form is stylized, he said, but there's lots of room for creative flights of fancy. And in the end, everything is resolved with a wonderful, pleasing piece of harmony.

Weeding Out the Bad Guys

It's our yearning for resolution - that orderly conclusion - that keeps us turning back to classic mysteries, especially in times of upheaval.

Literary critic Edmund Wilson wrote a famous article in The New Yorker in 1944 called "Why People Read Detective Stories." He was exasperated by the fact that his wife, Mary McCarthy, was always reading detective stories and recommending them to their friend, Vladimir Nabokov.

Wilson wrote that people like detective stories because : "Everybody is suspected in turn, and the streets are full of lurking agents whose allegiances we cannot know. Nobody seems guiltless, nobody seems safe; and then, suddenly, the murderer is spotted, and -relief!- he is not, after all, a person like you or me. He is a villain."

When the sleuth reveals the bad guy, everyone can feel safe again and stop suspecting Miss Scarlet over there in the library with that candlestick in her hand.

A Murder Mystery Restores Law and Order

I find I'm turning to mysteries even more in this time of political chaos. I live in a country where the principles of law and order have essentially been repealed.

People ask me why I'm "only" writing mystery stories when there are so many terrible things happening on a daily basis. They're often especially unimpressed that my ditzy etiquette expert heroine isn't "kick-ass" and doesn't carry a gun.

But when we live in a thugocracy where the smallest act of kindness or mercy can get a citizen fired, imprisoned, or deported, a show of good manners can be a heroic act of defiance.

Reading a classic mystery can take us back to a time of less chaos and more order - when the rule of law was respected by all. And even though some of us live in a country where bringing a criminal to justice may be an unrealistic fairy tale, it's a fairy tale a whole lot of us need right now.

Anne R. Allen is an award-winning blogger and the author of 13 funny mysteries and 2 how-to books for writers. Her bestselling Camilla Randall Mysteries are a mash-up of mystery, rom-com, and satire. They feature perennially down-on-her-luck former socialite Camilla Randall — who is a magnet for murder, mayhem, and Mr. Wrong. But she always solves the mystery in her quirky, but oh-so-polite way. Anne is the former artistic director of the Patio Playhouse in Escondido, CA and now lives on the foggy Central Coast of California.

Blog: https://annerallen.com/

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Killing People is What I Do (well, in my fictional world...) More humour...

 "Why would you ever want to write about murder?" asked the horrified relative, on the launch of my 18th book. "Why not write a nice little romance?"

As I start the round of promotional tours for The Silent Film Star Murders, I quickly add another relative to the hit list for my next novel (you would be shocked how often that happens.)  It occurs to me that there were many reasons to write about murder.

1.  It's the challenge of creating the clever puzzle.  Plotting a mystery is like playing a chess game. You always have to think  several moves ahead. Your reader is begging you to challenge them, and is working to beat you to the end, meaning guess the killer before your detective does.

2.  It's plot driven.  Murder mysteries start with action - a murder.  Yes, characterization is important, and particularly motivation. But murder is by nature an action, and thus something happens in the books you are writing.  And quite often, it happens again and again. 

3.  It's important.  This is murder, after all.  We're not talking about a simple threat or theft. A lot is at stake.  Murder is the final act, the worst that can happen. The end of it all.

4.  It's a place to put your darkest fantasies.  There are a few people I've wanted to off in my life. (Forgive the vernacular - I'm Italian, after all.) They did me wrong. And while I do have a wee reputation for recklessness, I value my freedom more. So what I can't do in reality, I get a kick out of doing in fantasy.

5.  Finally, it's fun.  This is the part I don't say in mixed company (meaning non-writers and relatives.) I can't explain exactly why it's fun - you have to trust me on this part. But plotting to do away with annoying characters in highly original ways...well, I'm smiling just thinking about it.

 Of course, I can understand where some of the relative angst comes from.  In my 4th book, A Purse to Die For, a gathering of relatives for a funeral results in the death of one or two. It was entirely accidental, that use of relatives. Honest.  I wasn't thinking of anyone in particular.

How about you?  Do you find writing about murder fun? (are we allowed to say that?)

The Silent Film Star Murders contains no deaths of relatives! (After all, they weren't born yet in 1928.) 

Now available at all the usual suspects, in all formats!  On Amazon:

 

 

 

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Books Don't Float – More book humour

My 18^th book launches today.  The Silent Film Star Murders is close to my heart.  I'm pretty sure it's my best book yet.  So I'm anxious to see this baby birthed.  Except – wait minute – there's a hitch.  Which is what this post is all about.  

HOW BOOK BABIES GET BIRTHED  (mine tend to be breech)

I've had 18 books launch, and I still panic every time we get close to launch date.  This is because I'm pretty sure the Literary Gods have a sense of humour, and delight in adding new codicils to Murphy's Law.  

By profession, I'm a marketer and event planner.  We, by definition, are planners.  Over-planners, some would say.  I have lists for my lists.  But think about it.  Marketing plans are developed months before promotion campaigns launch.  In the case of event planning (think of large conferences) we try to plan for every possible contingency - every single thing that could go wrong.  Because for dang sure, something that nobody dreamed about will happen!

It's the same with books.  Want proof?  (If you're looking for a quick way to develop a drinking habit…)

1. WHERE ARE THE BOOKS? 

Launch date for the Silent Film Star Murders (book two in the Merry Widow series) is March 22.  In-warehouse date is Feb. 21.  Promo blogs and other ads have been created and are to go live in US and Can on this weekend.

Publisher has just been informed that Amazon and B&N won't have the books in time because of the frantic increase in shipping (read madhouse) across the border due to - you guessed it - trying to beat the threatened tariffs.  So there's a new launch date.  March 22 in Canada, April 12 in the US.  Which means ALL the promotion comes out in the US before the book is available! <hits head against desk> 

2.  BOOKS DON'T FLOAT

Who-da guessed, but Pandemics really screw with book launches.  One of my books was to launch the very week Ontario shut down due to the pandemic.  It, poor thing, never got the attention it deserved.  But that was small potatoes compared to what happened next.

The entire second printing of Crime Club, due to be here for the Christmas buying season, got dumped into the Pacific Ocean.

Yup, you heard that right.  A container off a monster container ship took a dive with 16 others, into the Pacific, during a storm.  That is one hell of a lot of royalty moolah washed away.

The irony of this post (and yes, I live for irony) is: my current series takes place on the high seas, on an ocean liner in the Roaring 20s!  You'd almost think there was a diabolical plan to my life, Literary Gods.

I hope the fishes like to read. 

The Silent Film Star Murders SHOULD be available April 12 in the US, and March 22 in Canada and elsewhere.  It's traveling by land, I think.  Hope.

What's it all about?

Lady Lucy Revelstoke reboards her 1920s ocean liner for another high society murder mystery on the high seas — with rival film stars, resentful ex-lovers, and renegade snakes!

Available at all the usual suspects.

That First Book You Loved...

What's the first book you remember loving?

When I was a kid, say just learning to read, my favourite book was Mr. Hazelnut. It was about a young girl who meets a tailor who sews magical clothes. He knows just what Alice longs for, makes the clothes for her, then poof! Disappears. But the clothes grow with her over time, so it's a kind-of happy ending.  I still have that book (it was written by a Scandinavian woman) and plan to read it to my three year old granddaughter this winter.

I grew older and devoured Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys.  By eleven, I was into Agatha Christie and had read most of her books by the age of thirteen.  In high school, I fell in love with Ivanhoe. Then and now, I zoom to my friends' bookshelves in every house I go into.

Were there books in your house?  We had several low-bookshelves lining our living room and dining room.  I was raised by an ardent book-lover. My dad lost his father when he was six, and there was no money for books in his young years. He vowed that - when he grew up - he would buy every book he ever wanted. I grew up in a house full of books and they are still my treasures.

My own home has books in every room.  Filling walnut bookshelves, piled on side tables, bedside tables.  My office is a shrine to books.  And while I applaud the development of Kindle, a shelf-full of Kindles doesn't fill my heart the way book spines do.

Yes, there was magic in the first book I loved.  Sorcery magic, plus the kind that fills your soul.  

Because books create magic, I have found.  They provide a magical escape into a zillion adventures.  

I count myself lucky to have made a career in writing books.  If in my lifetime, I can create that wonderful escape for some readers, then my heart will be full.

What about you?  Was there 'one' book that made a difference to your childhood and stoked your love for reading?  

Is Reading Uncool? What the AJ Brown book-reading during football reveals

 I know this will come as a surprise to some here, but I really like watching football. I prefer CFL to NFL (Canadians don't need that extra 4th down, you know - we''re hardier than that -grin) But rarely a Bills or Chiefs game goes by, without my attention.

I've always considered football to be like a war game, from wars of long ago. Each play is a strategy, planned out in advance, and I admire that sort of intellectual challenge.  Physical skills combined with brains.

So you can imagine my amusement when AJ Brown (wide receiver with the Philadelphia Eagles) was caught on camera reading a real book, while on the bench during the game.

You'd think maybe the local farm pigs had sprouted wings and taken off over the field. Truly, the sports media went wild.

Toronto Columnist Cathal Kelly (the most humorous and erudite sports reporter I have ever read) said it best.  "I get that reading books isn't cool any more, and that buying books is the new collecting china. But it had not occurred to me how bizarre a behaviour it now seems to most people until Brown's story made headlines."

 A professional football player reading a book.

This immediately brought two things to mind:

1.  I get it, about the china. Brilliant comparison. When my mother died, I had the hardest time finding a home for her beloved china. I had my own set and had been recently widowed (far too young). My new condo had no space. Even my young girls did not want the heirlooms.

2.  When I moved from the house to said condo after being widowed, my real estate told me to "Get rid of the books. Put them in storage." Incredulous, I asked why. She said, "People will be intimidated by them." I pointed out that most were genre fiction - mysteries and suspense. Not exactly classic tomes. She said, "Doesn't matter. Most people don't read nowadays. They watch TV."

That's what she said - five and a half years ago - about the potential clients for a home that sold for well over a million dollars.

I know our publishers tell us that books sales are way down from 15 years ago. I hear from agents that the reading market is becoming older and dying out. But does that really mean books are uncool?

So I looked to my own family.  My second husband is a man who is an avid reader (bless him. He loves football too.) We have five children between us, all university educated. Only one, my youngest daughter, is a reader. The other four do not read for pleasure. Not even on Kindle.

What is going on here?  Why are the young not reading?  Is it the dreaded smart phone?  (I blame pretty much everything on smart phones.)

This really scares me. Reading takes us out of ourselves, and introduces us to a world beyond our own needs and wants. We all know, if you don't read history, you are bound to repeat it. If you never read about other people's feelings and problems, you become overly obsessed with your own. 

I worry that our younger generations will become so self-centered, so obsessed with their own lives, that they will fail to develop empathy for others.

What do you think? Do you see a connection between reading and the lack of empathy I see displayed today?

Melodie Campbell lives for books, and the writing of them. Her latest, The Silent Film Star Murders, comes out March 22. Available at Amazon, Barnes&Noble, Indigo/Chapters, and independents.

Available for preorder now, at all the usual suspects.