By Melodie Campbell
Recently, I read something that got me thinking. (Okay, have your little laugh. I can wait.)
The quote was:
“A writer who isn’t writing is a monster.”
first, I wasn’t sure if that meant a writer who wasn’t writing right
now and every minute was a monster. Or whether it meant a writer who
was prevented from writing was a monster.
For the sake of all concerned (at least in this house,) I’m goin’ for the latter.
brings me to this little list. If you are a writer, tick off the ones
that apply to you and leave a comment below with the goods. Or better
still, add your own. If you are not a writer, stand back.
You know you’re an author when:
1. You’d rather spend time with your characters than your friends.
2. You’ve been at the computer all day and Pepperidge Farm Goldfish seem like a major food group.
3. Your spouse yells “Are you all right in there,” and you’re pretty sure you’ve heard that voice before. Somewhere.
4. Your idea of a vacation means hours and hours of time to write. And nobody bugging you to “do something fun.”
5. You reach for Glenlivit when the internet goes down.
6. You could be arrested if the Feds look at your search history.
7. You actually know the difference between less and fewer. And consider it a hanging offense when people misuse them.
8. You have been known to ignore phone calls from your mom, kids, husband, boss, and possibly God.
9. Your idea of supreme hell is being trapped at a cocktail party for three hours with people who aren’t writers.
You have seriously considered murdering people who say, “I have this
great idea for a book, and if you’ll write it, I’ll share the profits
with you.” And the ones who say, “I think I’ll write a book someday
when I get more time.” And the ones who say, “Of course, it’s just a
mystery/fantasy/romance genre book you’ve written. When are you going
to write something important?”
Excuse me now. I have a lot of people to murder, and I’m behind.
Melodie Campbell murders people regularly in her zany mob crime series, The Goddaughter. She lurks at www.melodiecampbell.com