by
O'Neil De Noux
Ever notice the wonderfulnesses on the covers of books, indicating a book is as radiant as the sun and chock full of unforgettableness? The book is unputdownable? There are 500 5-star reviews of the book on Amazon or it is a best seller? Some covers come dotted with starbursts and little fish with more wonderfullnesses on the back cover.
The sun (really)
I realize these are selling points to get people to peek at the book, maybe
even buy the book. I guess my law enforecment background is showing. Like COP OF THE WEEK - the cop with the most arrests or tickets gets a little star on his pocket lapel. I've seen it. Not recently, thank God.
And then there are the proclamations, the review quotes expounding more wonderfulnesses.
I looked at my 23 published novels and researched reviews for snippets of my wonderfulness to slap all over my next cover. I mean I must be wonderful somewhere. Hell. It's a big world. Some dolt must think I'm a good writer. After a long search I managed to find some quotes and thought I'd run them by you to see which one(s) I should put on the back of my next book. Not sure if they're all complimentary.
“Mr. Denous is the purrrrfect best writer, forever and ever.” – Stella Roux, book reviewer of The Turkish Angora Blue Review
No one spelled my name correctly. Which should tell me something.
OK. None of them really work. So I'll just sit back and chuckle at the hissy fits over the Oxford comma, the Cambridge semi-colon and the Dartmouth diphthong. I mean like, "it's not long enough to be a diphthong!" Do people stay up at night over this?
Just saw a blurb on the back of a new book. The book is 'menacingly erotic' and a 'rollicking romp through fields of sugar cane'
This is what a Louisiana sugar cane field looks like. Have a rollicking romp through it. Go ahead.
www.oneildenoux.com
O'Neil De Noux
Ever notice the wonderfulnesses on the covers of books, indicating a book is as radiant as the sun and chock full of unforgettableness? The book is unputdownable? There are 500 5-star reviews of the book on Amazon or it is a best seller? Some covers come dotted with starbursts and little fish with more wonderfullnesses on the back cover.
The sun (really)
I realize these are selling points to get people to peek at the book, maybe
even buy the book. I guess my law enforecment background is showing. Like COP OF THE WEEK - the cop with the most arrests or tickets gets a little star on his pocket lapel. I've seen it. Not recently, thank God.
And then there are the proclamations, the review quotes expounding more wonderfulnesses.
I looked at my 23 published novels and researched reviews for snippets of my wonderfulness to slap all over my next cover. I mean I must be wonderful somewhere. Hell. It's a big world. Some dolt must think I'm a good writer. After a long search I managed to find some quotes and thought I'd run them by you to see which one(s) I should put on the back of my next book. Not sure if they're all complimentary.
Here they are:
“Denoux could be the greatest crime writer in the history of the world.” – The Bayou Goula Gazette
“A good great crime writer.” The Bogalusa Bat
“The most novelist working today.” The Worker’s Review
“Hey, this guy ain’t that bad.” – The North Jersey Petroleum Book Review Club
“The best mystery writer on the planet, or any other planet for that matter.” – The Rotterdam Rag
“Who the hell is this guy?” – Newsweek
“Never heard of him.” – Time
“We wish we could right this good.” – Cajun State University Press-Telegram
“The best thing about Slick Time are the legs on the cover.” – The Persimmon Times
“New Orleans Nocturnal is a real sleeper.” – The National Sleep Foundation Newsletter
“New Orleans Confidential. There is nothing confidential about New Orleans but if there were confidentialities, then this book would be one.” – New Orleans Tattle-Tale Review
“If he isn’t the best novelist, then it has to be Elmore Leonard or that James Burke guy. I mean, like, come on.” – The Angola Penitentiary Doing Hard Times
No one spelled my name correctly. Which should tell me something.
OK. None of them really work. So I'll just sit back and chuckle at the hissy fits over the Oxford comma, the Cambridge semi-colon and the Dartmouth diphthong. I mean like, "it's not long enough to be a diphthong!" Do people stay up at night over this?
Just saw a blurb on the back of a new book. The book is 'menacingly erotic' and a 'rollicking romp through fields of sugar cane'
This is what a Louisiana sugar cane field looks like. Have a rollicking romp through it. Go ahead.
www.oneildenoux.com