Matches, Mismatches, and Near-Misses

  

I've confessed many times at this blog that I watch too many movies. Even worse, if it's on DVD and I like it, I'll even sit and watch the bonus features, commentaries, gag reels, and deleted scenes that accompany it. God help me, I'm enough of a movie addict to want to find out how it was made, where it was filmed, who wrote it, who directed it, and who was sent out to fetch coffee.

Another thing that has always interested me is the casting of a movie. Everyone knows how important that is to the success of a project, but what exactly is involved in choosing just the right actor for a certain role? I have a smidgen of experience in that, because when casting calls were held several years ago for a movie that was to be made from one of my stories, I was allowed to attend the auditions. Alas, the movie was never filmed (it later died a gasping and penniless death), but what I saw of the casting process was enough to show me that trying to find a good match for the characters is sometimes easy but usually hard, sometimes satisfying but usually frustrating.

That whole line of thinking leads me to the following question: In the many movies I've watched over the years, how often did the casting really work?

Well, whatever it took to get there, here are twenty examples of what I think were successful casting choices:

NOTE: I've left out a great many of the ultra-obvious ones, like Reeve as Superman, Bridges as Lebowski, Hopkins as Hannibal, Bogart and Bergman, Newman and Redford, Beatty and Dunaway, Gable and Leigh, etc. For what it's worth, asterisks indicate the five that I felt were perfect.

1.*Sean Connery as James Bond

2. Robert Taylor as Walt Longmire

3. Alan Rickman as Hans Gruber in Die Hard

4. Ian McShane as Al Swearengen in Deadwood

5.*Sigourney Weaver as Ellen Ripley in the Alien franchise

6. Russell Crowe as Bud White in LA Confidential

7.*Robert Duvall as Augustus McRae in Lonesome Dove

8. Idris Elba as Stringer Bell in The Wire

9. Gene Hackman as Popeye Doyle in The French Connection

10. Kathy Bates as Annie Wilkes in Misery

11.*James Gandolfini as Tony Soprano

12. Tommy Lee Jones as Lt. Gerard in The Fugitive

13. Lorraine Bracco as Rae Crane in Medicine Man

14.*Jack Palance as Jack Wilson in Shane

15. Kelly Reilly as Beth Dutton in Yellowstone

16. Andre the Giant as Fezzik in The Princess Bride

17. Meryl Streep as Miranda Priestly in The Devil Wears Prada

18. Walton Goggins as Boyd Crowder in Justified

19. Graham Greene as Kicking Bird in Dances with Wolves

20. Javier Bardem as Anton Chigurh in No Country for Old Men

Casting mismatches:

NOTE 2: Again, I didn't include the obvious, like Cruise as Reacher, Clooney as Batman, and so forth. Asterisks indicate what I think were the five absolutely worst matches.

1. Roger Moore as James Bond

2. Tom Hanks as Robert Langdon in The Da Vinci Code

3. Mark Wahlberg as Spenser in Spenser: Confidential

4. Daniel Craig as Benoit Blanc in Knives Out 

5.*Glen Campbell as Ranger La Boeuf in True Grit

6. Kevin Costner as Robin Hood in Prince of Thieves

7. Tyler Perry as Alex Cross

8. Steve Martin as Inspector Clouseau in The Pink Panther (2006)

9. Eriq La Salle as Lucas Davenport in Mind Prey

10. Denise Richards as Christmas Jones in The World Is Not Enough

11.*Adam Driver as Kylo Ren in The Last Jedi

12.  Leonardo Di Caprio as "The Kid" Herod in The Quick and the Dead

13.*Adrien Brody as Jack Driscoll in King Kong (2005)

14. Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor in Batman v. Superman

15. Mickey Rooney as Mr. Yunioshi in Breakfast at Tiffany's

16.*Matthew McConaughey as Walter in The Dark Tower

17. Vincent D'Onofrio as Jack Horne in The Magnificent Seven (2016)

18. Jamey Sheridan as Randall Flagg in The Stand (1994)

19. Whoopi Goldberg as Mother Abigail in The Stand (2020)

20.*John Wayne as Genghis Khan in The Conqueror

Casting choices that didn't happen but almost did:

NOTE 3: Asterisks mark the five that I believe would've been the worst decisions.

1. Eric Stoltz as Marty McFly in Back to the Future

2. Sean Connery as Gandalf in Lord of the Rings

3. Gwyneth Paltrow as Rose in Titanic

4.*Al Pacino as Han Solo

5. Jack Nicholson as Michael Corleone

6.*John Travolta as Forrest Gump

7.*Molly Ringwald as Vivian Ward in Pretty Woman

8. Harrison Ford as Alan Grant in Jurassic Park

9. Marilyn Monroe as Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffany's

10. Bruce Willis as Sam Wheat in Ghost

11. Reese Witherspoon as Cher Horowitz in Clueless

12. Alicia Silverstone as Elle Woods in Legally Blonde

13. Michael Keaton as Phil Connors in Groundhog Day

14. Tom Cruise as Tony Stark in Iron Man

15. Mel Gibson as Maximus in Gladiator

16.*Burt Reynolds as James Bond in Live and Let Die

17. Sandra Bullock as Neo in The Matrix

18. Johnny Depp as Ferris Bueller

19.*Frank Sinatra as Dirty Harry

20. Tom Selleck as Indiana Jones

Quick observation: I happened to notice, just before posting time, that only about half a dozen entries in that first list of twenty good casting choices were for the main protagonist. Most of them were antagonists. I wasn't overly surprised by that; no matter what kind of fiction it is--movies, novels, stories, etc.--I think believable villains are as important as believable heroes.

 

Once again, all these are based on my opinion only, and if I made these lists next week they would probably be different. Having said that . . . 

In these categories of best matches, terrible matches, and could-have-been-terrible matches, do you agree with any of them? Disagree? Can you suggest some of your own? What do you think? 

I can tell you what my late mother would've thought: All of us should get back to doing something constructive.

But ain't it fun?

Oldies but Goodies

One of the favorite subjects of those (like me) who like to write mystery/crime short stories is the sad fact that there are so few current markets for that kind of fiction. Or at least fewer than there used to be. Don't get me wrong: I love the ones that are still around. I just wish there were more of them. I wish there were a thousand of them.

As for me, I didn't start writing for publication until the mid-'90s, which to some of you is a bit late--I don't remember, for example, the really old markets like Black Mask, Manhunt, Menace, Mike Shayne, Pursuit, and others. But I do know that between the time I started out and, say, five years ago, there were still a good many places out there for mystery/crime submissions. Some of them, bless their souls, were purely mystery markets and others were non-genre or different-genre or multi-genre magazines, but most would at least consider crime fiction submissions. (Remember, I'm talking about magazines right now, not anthologies.)

As I grow older, I find myself doing a lot of reminiscing, and in looking over my old writing records--submissions (many), acceptances (some), rejections (many)--I uncovered the names of a lot of long-defunct magazines that I've dealt with, and that were kind enough, over the years, to publish my stories. Some of them stayed around for a long time, some were only a flash in the pan, and some I probably killed because they closed up shop immediately after publishing my stuff. 

What surprised me most is that there were so many of these magazines. If you've been doing this for a while, as I have, some of these might hold some memories for you as well.

Anyone remember these publications?

Murderous Intent Mystery Magazine

Detective Mystery Stories

Over My Dead Body

Mystery Time

Grit

Orchard Press Mysteries

The Rex Stout Journal

Lines in the Sand

Short Stuff for Grown-Ups

Anterior Fiction Quarterly

Just a Moment

Pebbles

Green's Magazine

Red Herring Mystery Magazine

The Oak

Eureka Literary Magazine

Writer's Block Magazine

Western Digest

Spring Fantasy

Roswell Literary Review

Dream International Quarterly

Writers on the River

The Ultimate Writer

Matilda Ziegler Magazine for the Blind (braille)

Nefarious

Enigma

Futures (later Futures Mysterious Anthology Magazine)

Ancient Paths

Yellow Sticky Notes

Cenotaph

The Villager

Heist Magazine

Lost Worlds

Scavenger's Newsletter

The Mid-South Review

The Copperfield Review

T-Zero

Phoebe

The Pegasus Review

Crimestalker Casebook (which I understand will soon make a comeback)

Desert Voices

Mindprints

Penny Dreadful

Writer's Guidelines & News

The Taj Mahal Review

Antipodean SF

Setu

Simulacrum

Ethereal Gazette

Spinetingler Magazine

Champagne Shivers

Listen 

Apollo's Lyre

Scifantastic

50-Word Stories

Star*Line

Crime & Suspense E-Zine

Flashshot

Illya's Honey

Night Roses

Jupiter World Press

Flash Tales

Mouth Full of Bullets

Thirteen

Oxford So-and-So

Sniplets

Byline Magazine

Prairie Times

Deep South Magazine

Pages of Stories (Leigh, remember this one?)

Sherlock Holmes Mystery Magazine

The Big Adios

Flash Bang Mysteries

The Norwegian American

Bewildering Stories

Gathering Storm Magazine

Mystery Weekly (later Mystery Magazine)

Serial Magazine

Ficta Fabula

Allegory

Elixir Magazine

Fiction on the Web

Down & Out: The Magazine

Did any of you publish stories at any of those places? I'd like to hear about your experiences. Remember some of those long-ago editors--Babs Lakey, Margo Power, Cheri Jung, Rick Ollerman, Linda Hutton, Andrew McAleer, Tony Burton, BJ Bourg, Marvin Kaye? Any others? Some of them were wonderful.

One market that I didn't mention--Amazon Shorts--was more of a program than a magazine or anthology. It ran from (I think) 2005 until maybe 2010, and published 19 of my stories. Hated to see them go. Another great market was of course Untreed Reads, which is still here but under different leadership.

Before I close, I should certainly mention--and thank--some of those markets that are still around: Thema, Pleiades, The Strand, AHMM, EQMM, Black Cat Mystery Magazine, Black Cat Weekly, Crimeucopia, Tough, Shotgun Honey, Star Magazine (yes, Star is still alive and kickin'), Pulp Modern, Mysterical-E, Our Southern Memories, Mystery Tribune, Saddlebag Dispatches, Kings River Life, St. Anthony Messenger, Tales from the Moonlit Path, The Texas Gardener (Seeds), Hoosier Noir, Indelible, Frontier Tales, Punk Noir, The Saturday Evening Post, and Woman's World. There are of course others, but, again, I've listed those that I'm familiar with because they've published my stories.

Ah, memory lane. Nice place to visit, right? As for the present-- 

Thank God for the markets that have survived. May they live long and prosper!

Are You Running Out of Things to Read, or Watch?

If so, consider some of these.

First, though . . . rewind eight days. Picture me having an e-conversation last week with a writer friend, about favorite books and movies. What happened was, we both had so many, we were categorizing them by genre. (Can you see that my life is sometimes less than exciting?)

Back to the present. The result of that recent discussion is the following list of my favorite movies, novels, TV series, and short stories in each of several genres of fiction. Note: They go beyond the basic five genres (mystery/crime, SF/fantasy, romance, Western, and horror) to include ten subgenres. If the subgenres aren't familiar to you, that's okay. I made them up.

Another note: While I hope you'll agree with a few of my reading/viewing choices, I'm sure you won't like some--you might not like any--so be aware of one thing: These are not necessarily what I consider to be the BEST movies. They're just the ones I enjoyed the most. I do recognize that Citizen Kane, Schindler's List, Nosferatu, The English Patient, etc., are great achievements, but it'll be a cold day in Jamaica when they show up in my favorites list. 

For better or worse, here are my personal choices:

MYSTERY/CRIME

Favorite movie: L. A. Confidential (1997)

Novel: Plum Island, Nelson DeMille

TV/streaming series: The Sopranos (HBO, 1999-2007)

Short story: "Man from the South," Roald Dahl

SCIENCE FICTION/FANTASY

Favorite movie: Aliens (1986)

Novel: The Stand, Stephen King

TV/streaming series: Game of Thrones (HBO, 2011-2019)

Short story: "A Sound of Thunder," Ray Bradbury

ROMANCE

Favorite movie: Sleepless in Seattle (1993)

Novel: The Princess Bride, William Goldman

TV/streaming series: The Thorn Birds (ABC, 1983)

Short story: "The Gift of the Magi," O. Henry

 

WESTERN

Favorite movie: Once Upon a Time in the West (1968)

Novel: Lonesome Dove, Larry McMurtry

TV/streaming series: Deadwood (HBO, 2004-2006)

Short story: "Three-Ten to Yuma," Elmore Leonard

HORROR

Favorite movie: Psycho (1960)

Novel: Magic, William Goldman

TV/streaming series: Stranger Things (Netflix, 2016-2025)

Short story: "Nightmare at 20,000 Feet," Richard Matheson

ADVENTURE

Favorite movie: Jurassic Park (1993)

Novel: Sands of the Kalahari, William Mulvihill

TV/streaming series: Lost (ABC, 2004-2010)

Short story: "Mrs. Todd's Shortcut," Stephen King

COMEDY

Favorite movie: Blazing Saddles (1974)

Novel: One for the Money, Janet Evanovich

TV/streaming series: Cheers (NBC, 1982-1993)

Short story: "The Kugelmass Episode," Woody Allen

DRAMA

Favorite movie: Casablanca (1942)

Novel: From Here to Eternity, James Jones

TV/streaming series: Mad Men (AMC, 2007-2015)

Short story: "The Last Rung on the Ladder," Stephen King

HISTORICAL

Favorite movie: Gladiator (2000)

Novel: Pillars of the Earth, Ken Follett

TV/streaming series: Rome (HBO, 2005-2006)

Short story: "The Lottery," Shirley Jackson

FAMILY

Favorite movie: It's a Wonderful Life (1946)

Novel: The Hobbit, J. R. R. Tolkien

TV/streaming series: Little House on the Prairie (NBC, 1974-1982)

Short story: "The Boy Who Cried Wolf," Aesop

ESPIONAGE

Favorite movie: Goldfinger (1964)

Novel: Eye of the Needle, Ken Follett

TV/streaming series: Slow Horses (Apple TV+, 2022-)

Short story: "Deep Down," Lee Child

SOUTHERN

Favorite movie: Deliverance (1972)

Novel: To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee

TV/streaming series: Evening Shade (CBS, 1990-1994)

Short story: "Poachers," Tom Franklin

SPORTS

Favorite movie: The Natural (1984)

Novel: The Hustler, Walter Tevis

TV/streaming series: G.L.O.W. (Netflix, 2017-2019)

Short story: "The Swimmer," John Cheever

LEGAL/COURTROOM

Favorite movie: 12 Angry Men (1957)

Novel: Presumed Innocent, Scott Turow

TV/streaming series: Goliath (Amazon Prime Video, 2016-2021)

Short story: "Witness for the Prosecution," Agatha Christie

WAR

Favorite movie: The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957)

Novel: The Hunt for Red October, Tom Clancy

TV/streaming series: Band of Brothers (HBO, 2001)

Short story: "The Snows of Kilimanjaro," Ernest Hemingway

Before you ask . . . Yes, there was a lot of indecision in coming up with these. For example, I almost chose The Godfather for favorite crime movie, Galaxy Quest and Raising Arizona for funniest, Somewhere in Time for romance, Shane for Western novel, the first few seasons of The Walking Dead for TV horror, etc., etc., and if I'd waited until next month to make this list, it'd probably look a lot different. And yes, I also made a list of what I thought were the worst movies, novels, etc., in every category, but decided to keep those to myself. There's already enough acid indigestion in the world.

Which brings us to my question: What are some of your favorite movies, novels, TV series, and shorts? Do we agree on any of them?

Now, where'd I put that remote . . . ? 

Funny Business

I've always been interested in hearing about about the origin of a short story--the idea that first puts a particular story into a writer's head. As for my own stories, I can remember how all of them started out. Some of those ideas, though I can't say they're all interesting, came from real-life situations and others were picked out of the ether. A few starting points that I remember well are (1) a gag several of us played on campus cops when I was in college, (2) a time-travel mistake that lands a London-bound scientist on a Pearl Harbor battleship, (3) an Old West sheriff joining forces with his prisoner to fend off an Indian attack, (4) a pair of idiot bank robbers carjacking a self-driving vehicle, (4) my seeing an airline passenger rescue a stranger in the adjoining seat after the guy ordered a drink and realized he was short on cash, etc., etc., etc. Sometimes the ideas seem to come from nowhere.

Having said that . . . I found myself in need of such an idea when I decided to write a story for the recent anthology Gag Me with a Spoon: Crime Fiction Inspired by the Music of the '80s (White City Press). Some of the most appealing things about this anthology, for me, were its editor--Jay Hartman--and the suggestion that it be a humorous crime story, the funnier the better. Humorous stories are always, always the most fun to write.

For this one, I started out by thinking of a plot--some writers start with characters, some with theme, some with settings; I usually start with plots--and since I was in sort of a private-eye state of mind after writing a couple of PI stories for magazines, I pictured a story that featured a PI but was seen through someone else's POV. I wanted the private investigator to be a main character but not the story's protagonist. (As you'll see if you wind up reading it, the story goes on awhile after the PI exits the narrative.) In fact, my protagonist is the client--the guy who hires the PI. As I mulled all of that over (my mulling sometimes takes a few days), I happened to recall one of the funniest jokes I'd ever heard. It was told at an IBM conference many years ago, back when I was earning an honest living, and includes a phone call and a misunderstanding that I shouldn't reveal, spoilerwise. (You might even remember the joke--I've since heard it elsewhere.) 

While all this was bouncing around in my head, I was also trying to think of a song from the 1980s that I especially enjoyed, and made sure it was one with a title that I could incorporate into my story and that could also be used as the title of my story. After some googling and a lot of remembering, I came up with "Uptown Girl," by Billy Joel. I asked the editor if I could lay claim to that song, and he agreed. NOTE: This isn't the way I usually start writing a story for a music-themed anthology. I usually pick out the song first, before I do anything else. But not this time. 

Anyhow, building my story around that song was pretty easy, since I already had a basic plot in my head. Also keeping the skeleton of that old joke in mind, I fiddled around with the setting and the characters and their occupations and their situations, plugged a very uptown lady into the mix, added some other characters as well, and finished it off by inserting a few Easter eggs that would, I hoped, remind the reader of the song at several points in the course of the story.

Again, one of the main attractions of writing this story, to me, was the humor, and the need for some funny dialogue. Trying to take a stupid and embarrassing and dangerous situation and make it desperately important to the characters was fun in itself, and I had a great time with it. I've often heard that writers know a horror story works when it scares them during the writing--and I think the same thing is true of humor. If I find myself laughing out loud during the writing or rewriting, I'm fairly sure that at least a few readers might laugh also.

Whether my story turns out funny to you or not, whether it works for you or not, I do hope you'll find and read the book. Jay doesn't publish any bad anthologies. Personally, I can't wait to dig into all my fellow writers' stories. If they had as good a time as I did, I think I'll enjoy the book.

Questions: I know some of you write humor, and do it well. Have any of you not yet tried writing a funny story? How about a funny crime story? Do you, like me, sometimes find that funny stories are easier to write? (Don't get me wrong, I write a lot of stories that have no humor in them at all--think Donald Westlake's Parker novels, if I can be so bold as to compare my scribbling to the Master. Those Parker books of his were so different from his usual novels that he used a pseudonym for them. Which was probably a good idea--I still have trouble believing that the mischievous Westlake was also Richard Stark.) And getting away from the writer side of all this, do you like reading humorous stories (or novels)? How about humorous mysteries? Any in particular? Novelwise, my faves might be Janet Evanovich's One for the Money, Westlake's Dancing Aztecs, Elmore Leonard's Maximum Bob, Carl Hiaasen's Fever Beach, and--for a different kind of humor--any of Nelson DeMille's John Corey novels. And how about coming up with your story ideas? Any secrets or hints, there? If you're writing a humorous mystery, how do you create a plot that's both mysterious and funny?

 

Strangely enough, I think the expression "Gag me with a spoon" started out as one of annoyance and disgust (remember "Valley Girls"?). With this book, that doesn't apply. I think you'll be laughing, and humming, right along with writers. 

Petty and Peevish

No, I'm not referring to the names of Beavis and Butt-Head's new girlfriends. I'm referring to the way I feel when I'm exposed to certain written or spoken words or phrases, and (sometimes) situations. Bear in mind that I'm also getting old, and old folks can be especially petty and peevish.

The strange thing is, some of my pet peeves don't seem to upset other people at all, and many things that bother others are just fine with me. Also, my PPs change with the passage of time. I grow to accept some things that I didn't like while I find that other things have suddenly begun to irritate me. Bear in mind that almost all these things are relatively unimportant.

Here are some of  my current pet peeves, most of them part of the literary or broadcast world. I doubt many of you will agree with me on these, but my wife's tired of hearing about them, and I read someplace that confession is good for the soul.

PET PEEVES 1 -- Words/phrases that I find annoying:

Utilize. This word, to me, is clear proof that someone's looking too hard for synonyms, and maybe just trying to sound intelligent. Utilize isn't incorrect; it's just unnecessary. Use "use" instead.

Share in common. Folks either share something or they have it in common. Not both. I heard this exact phrase in a news report earlier this week.

Blonde as an adjective. Talk to me all you want about feminine/masculine. Blonde is a noun. Blond is (usually) an adjective. The blonde has blond hair.

Icon. These days, anyone who's remotely popular or newsworthy is an icon. I heard someplace that actor Jennifer Lawrence is an icon. I happen to like Jennifer Lawrence, and her movies, but is she iconic? I doubt it, and I bet she'd agree with me.

Between you and I. This is probably my biggest peeve, and I hear it all the time, from people who should know better. I even wrote a SleuthSayers post about this, last year. It's between you and me, about you and me, from you and me. Not you and I.

OK. When I see OK, I always wonder if it should be pronounced "ock," as if you're choking. I realize the spelling is optional, but I prefer okay.

Mic. Same thing. This looks like "mick" to me. I'd rather spell it the way it's pronounced: "mike." This is one of those pet peeves on which I am usually outvoted--and that's okay.

Data. I pronounce it "dayta," not "datta." All my colleagues at IBM did the same. And yes, I know, either is acceptable.

Stunning, as in "stunning video." Newscasters love this. One of them said, a few weeks ago, "Coming up: stunning new images in the P. Diddy trial." I saw the images and remained unstunned. The problem here, I think, is overuse. Plus, not everything in the news should be hyped. Same thing goes for other unneeded exaggerations that anchors love, like bombshell and blockbuster (and iconic).

As well. I think this, too, has become overused, especially in weather broadcasts. Almost every sentence often ends with "as well," with the two words drawn out to last awhile, to (I guess) use up more airtime. Why not, at least occasionally, just say also?

Towards. Shouldn't it be toward, in American English? I thought towards was British.

Journey. Almost any endeavor these days is a journey--marriage, college, career, recovery from an illness, a relocation, a job change, a prison sentence, anything. A TV commercial the other day referred to "your weight-loss journey." I mean, for Heaven's sake. It's another word to file under OVERUSED.

Penned. Once again, a case of looking too hard for synonyms--this time for wrote or written. "She penned a new story"? Come on. Just say she wrote it.

No problem. This, usually a reply to "thank you," is used so much it's mindboggling--especially by waiters and waitresses. I suppose there's really no problem with no problem, but whatever happened to you're welcome?

Reach out to. This phrase is okay--I've said and written it myself, and probably will in the future--but I think it too has become overused. Contact seems to work better. Not that it matters, but the first time I ever heard the phrase reach out to was in the late '70s, in the Joe Don Baker movie To Kill a Cop, which later evolved into the TV series Eischied. He said it constantly. (Pretty good movie, by the way.)

Nor'easter. When words are shortened, it's usually to cut out time-consuming syllables. This doesn't. I know it's a historical and catchy word, but why not just leave the "th" in there?

Literally. Overused and often misused. If you hear "He was literally between a rock and a hard place," he ought to be in physical pain. In fact, mashed.

Alright. I've mentioned this one before, at this blog. I think it should be two words: all right. (Remember it this way: alright is not all right.)

Chapter. I'm not sure if this is a mini-journey or if a journey is a mini-chapter. I don't think I'll worry about it--or use it in a sentence.

I'm sorry for your loss. I feel a little guilty including this in my list, but as I said, I'm confessing, and I confess that I have come to dislike this phrase. When said honestly, it can certainly be an expression of sincere condolence, and I believe it usually is, but I think it's been so overused that it's become almost meaningless, sort of like thoughts and prayers. The truth is, it's hard to find correct and appropriate words of comfort in grief situations, but lately I've been trying to choose words other than these.

A sense of closure. I think I've just heard this too many times.

Impact as a verb. this is, without doubt, our newest and most popular international buzzword. Watch any newscast or weathercast and count the number of times impacted is used in this way. I understand that it isn't grammatically incorrect--but in my view, a road closure or a drizzly forecast or an event cancellation doesn't impact me. An asteroid might, or a runaway train, or even an unseen foul ball. I think impact has become one of those words, like stunning, that's used to make something sound more important, threatening, or dangerous than it really is. (Strong verbs are a good thing, in writing. In speaking--at least in this case--not always.)

PET PEEVES 2 -- Everyday-life annoyances:

Talking during a movie. Unless you see something on fire, don't.

Reclining airplane seats, in front of me. Be considerate--I'm six foot four, and there are only so many places I can put my knees.

Telemarketers/robocalls. Is there anyone who doesn't hate these?

Loud conversations on cell phones in public. I honestly believe that if cell phones had cords, users would be strangled regularly.

Attempting a Southern accent, in the movies, etc. This is like playing the guitar: hard to do well and easy to do badly. The worst examples I can think of are probably Daniel Craig in Knives Out, Tommy Kirk (Travis) in Old Yeller, and Nicolas Cage in Con Air, but there are many, many. This is one reason I've always liked Tommy Lee Jones, Billy Bob Thornton, Kim Dickens, Holly Hunter, etc. I can always understand what their characters are saying. They talk the way my family, friends, and neighbors talked, when I was a kid. Music to my ears. 

TV commercials for pharmaceutical products. Every one of these says something like "Tell your physician about NewWonderDrug." It seems to me that if you need to tell your doctor how to treat your illness, you should find a new doctor. And my God, those lists of side effects . . .

Flat-brimmed baseball caps. I'm pretty sure there has never, in the history of the world, been anything else that can so immediately transform a regular-looking guy into a goofy-looking guy. My opinion only.

PET PEEVES 3 -- Things that seem to upset others but don't bother me:

Clipping nails in public. Clip away. Can I borrow those when you're done?

Cracking knuckles. Same thing. My wife hates this. I say, have at it.

Walking too slowly. This probably did bother me, when I was younger.

Talking over people. Hey, sometimes you have to. (See cell phone use in public, above.)

Waitresses I've never met who call me "sweetie," "honey," etc. Doesn't bother me. Then again, I'm from the South. We grew up with this kind of foolishness, all the time.

Babies crying in public. Why should I mind? Babies are gonna cry, and you can't very well leave 'em home alone.

One last thing, since I've probably worn you out by now. I fully realize that many of you, some of whom are editors, have your own hot-buttons--especially those involving language and style--and will disagree with most of mine. So here are my questions: 

What are your pet peeves? Are some of them casual preferences, where you could go either way? Are some set in stone? (As for short stories, I simplify all this by hiding my opinions and trying to make the language in my submissions follow whatever rules the editor prefers, in his or her guidelines. As you know, some guidelines are extremely detailed.) Have you found yourself in situations where you feel strongly enough about some of this that you need to argue with the editor about it? If you yourself are an editor, have you seen many of those situations? Do most submitters comply in the end? Aside from the publishing business, how about your common old everyday peeves?

 

Alright, that's it. May you utilize all this to pen iconic stories and journey unimpacted towards stunning successes.

(He said, peevishly.) 

 

A Series Discussion

When we categorize fiction, we usually say it's either short or long, literary or genre, lighthearted or gritty, mystery or SF, etc.--but there's another distinction: Is it a series story or a standalone story?

Most of my short stores are standalones, meaning they're not part of an ongoing series using the same characters and locations. I like writing standalone stories because the plots and players are always new and interesting to explore. I can go anyplace I want to, in any time period, and live there for a while. ("A while" being the key phrase. That's probably the reason I'd rather write shorts than novels.)

Series differences

Having said that … I occasionally like to write "series" stories as well. One reason is that some characters and some settings turn out to be interesting and/or enjoyable enough (to me, at least) that I want to revisit them from time to time. Another is that a number of editors have told me that they, and their readers, like short-story series--and I'm not one to ignore that kind of hint. A third reason is that series installments (if they're subsequent stories and not the very first in the series) are sometimes easier to put together because both I and the reader already know the characters, and I can spend less time with setup and backstory and more time developing the plot--and plotting is probably my favorite part of writing. This works especially well if the stories are really short, as is the case of markets like Woman's World. I have found, though, that when I do write series stories, I tend to not write several in a row. I almost always sandwich one or more standalones in between series installments. That just seems to work better, for me.

I should also mention that there's one thing you have to consider with series stories that you don't have to worry about with standalones: continuity. If you're lucky enough to sell a few stories in a series, you'll find that you must keep careful track of facts about your recurring characters (primary and supporting), and locations and relationships as well. You don't want to carelessly change, say, the names of certain people, streets, restaurants, bars, and businesses later in the series. And if it seems that things like that would be easy for the writer to remember--well, they're not. You also don't want to repeat certain phrases, descriptions, or anything that might seem too repetitive, from story to story. Another thing to remember: Not everyone will read those installments in order. Every story in the series should be written such that it can stand on its own.

One more point. I'm not quite sure how to say this, but there seems to be a different feeling that goes along with the writing of each of these two kinds of stories. When I begin a standalone story I get a little tingle of adventure and daring and experimentation, of trying something brand new. (Yes, I know how silly that sounds, but it's true.) On the other hand, when I begin a series story, I feel more comfortable and secure because I'm on familiar ground--I already know the characters pretty well, and how they think and how they'll act. I'm not saying one "feeling" is better or worse than the other. Both are welcome, because they make me want to keep writing. 

Series notes and numbers

Personally, I have written and published eight different series of mystery shorts. The first of them began in 2001, with a bossy retired schoolteacher named Angela Potts, a character based roughly on my mother. Mom wasn't bossy and she wasn't a teacher, but she was quick-witted and she was curious about everything and everyone in my little hometown--she loved sitting in one particular rocker on her front porch and observing the neighborhood and every single car and pedestrian that passed by. Nothing happened in that town that she didn't know about.

So that's what got me started. But Mom's similarity to my protagonist ended there. My fictional heroine not only knows what's happening, she also doesn't mind interfering with those happenings, and investigating anything she finds the least bit suspicious. She especially enjoys "helping"--and irritating--the local sheriff, who was a student of hers in the fifth grade. Sheriff Charles "Chunky" Jones always allows her to butt into police business, not because he wants to but because he knows that "Ms. Potts" is smart and cunning enough to solve cases that he can't. Having his procedures criticized and his grammar corrected at every turn is, he figures, a small price to pay. So far, I've had more than 150 stories published about those two characters and their little Southern town, most of them mini-mysteries at Woman's World. 

In 2003 I started a different series of stories, this one about a small-town sheriff named Lucy Valentine and her mother Frances. Like Angela Potts, Fran Valentine is a former teacher, and in her retirement she's concerned mostly with two things: (1) assisting in the never-ending fight against crime and (2) finding Lucy a husband. (The first is easier than the second, since her daughter doesn't want a husband.) Around 100 of those Fran & Lucy stories, sometimes billed as the "Law and Daughter" series, have been published in more than a dozen different magazines, seven anthologies, and three story collections. (Woman's World published one of the Fran & Lucy stories in 2010, but the then-editor told me she'd rather I go back to the Angela mysteries, so I did.)

My third crime series, and one of those I've enjoyed the most, features Mississippi sheriff Raymond Kirk Douglas ("Please, no more Spartacus jokes") and his on-and-off girlfriend Jennifer Parker, who's a former lawyer and Ray's childhood sweetheart. Seven of these stories, which are much longer than most of my mysteries, have been published in Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine and one in the short-lived Down & Out: The Magazine--and the latest installment is now hanging around in the AHMM submission queue. the Ray Douglas stories have been extra fun to write because most of them include not one mystery case but two or three different cases per story. 

My fourth series stars private investigator Thomas Langford, and also features a female partner-in-crime-solving: Tom's fiancee Debra Jo Wells, a paralegal at a local law firm. The first installment of that series was published in a special PI issue of Black Cat Mystery Magazine, and holds a glowing place in my heart (thank you, Michael Bracken) because it won a Shamus Award in 2021. The next Tom Langford mystery appeared in Strand Magazine, the third in Black Cat Weekly (thanks again, Michael), and three more installments have been accepted for an upcoming collection of my detective stories. (I should note that, as usual, Tom's female counterpart is smarter than he is, and he knows it. After all, our stories are supposed to reflect real life . . .)

My fifth mystery series revolves around accountant Katie Rogers and her younger sister Anna, the police chief in (you guessed it) their small Southern town--three of the Katie & Anna stories have also appeared in Woman's World. My sixth series features Old West private investigator Will Parker, whose first story (actually a novella) appeared in one of John Connor's Crimeucopia anthologies; the second story was published in a private-eye anthology and was later selected for inclusion in Best American Mystery Stories. My seventh crime series stars New Orleans shopowner Madame Zoufou, Queen of Voodoo, who has made three appearances so far, one of them in a Mardi Gras anthology. And my eighth series features private eye Luke Walker and his sister Lavinia (Vinnie), and is set in the 1940s in New Orleans. The first of those appeared in an anthology of stories by previous Edgar- or Shamus-winners, the second has been accepted and is upcoming in an anthology based on S.S. Van Dine, and the third is in progress. 

In summary, six of my eight mystery series are set in the present day, two are set in the past, seven are set in the southeastern U.S., three are about county sheriffs, three are about PIs, one's about a police chief, and one's about a voodoo sorceress, with helpful partners and amateur sleuths joining the cast in all of them.

What's your story?

So that's my background, with regard to series. How about the rest of you? Do you prefer writing standalone stories or series installments? Do you like reading short-story series? Do you have any favorites? If you've written series stories, are they set in a familiar (to you) area? Are they written with particular publications or markets in mind? Have you found that writing them is more fun than standalones? Which do you find easier to write? Have you found series stories easier to sell?

Whatever your experience is and your preferences are, I hope you keep reading stories and keep putting them on paper. 

I'll be back in two weeks. See you then.

GUEST POST: Creating a Cohesive Collection

My friend Judy Penz Sheluk has twice been a guest columnist here at SleuthSayers--once in 2021 and once in 2023. Today, at our regular two-year interval, I'm pleased to have her here for another guest post, this one to celebrate the latest book in her Superior Shores Anthology series. Please join me in welcoming her once again.

--John Floyd

Creating a Cohesive Collection

by Judy Penz Sheluk

I've acquired a few skills during my corporate life as a credit manager (among other finance-related jobs) and as a magazine editor for multiple publications, but one of the most important was a good working knowledge of Excel, spreadsheets being a good way to number crunch and manage budgets. Even so, I never thought I'd use it as a tool to help me determine the order of the stories in my Superior Shores Anthologies. But that's exactly what I've done, each and every time.

Let's take my most recent multi-author anthology, Midnight Schemers & Daydream Believers: 22 Stories of Mystery & Suspense, released on June 18th. Admittedly, much of the heavy lifting lies in culling down the 80 submissions to a manageable number, but turning the selected stories into a cohesive collection isn't quite as simple as it might seem on the surface. That's where my handy-dandy spreadsheet comes in. Here's a step-by-step look at how it works:

1. Set up five columns: Order (1-22), author name, title, word count, and comments.

2. Select which story will be first and mark that as number 1 under the column titled 'Order.' I spend a lot of time deciding what story will be first, because that sets the stage for the rest of the collection. In the case of Midnight Schemers, I chose Charlie Kondek's 'Secretly Keith,' the tale of a cover band guitarist who decides the time is right to rob barroom bookie Big John Warmer. At just under 3,500 words, it's middle of the pack in length, and as you've probably guessed, things don't go according to plan for our scheming, daydreaming, and very misguided musician.

3. Mark 'A Foolproof Plan,' my story of a woman desperate for a new life, as number 22, the last entry--it just doesn't feel right to put my own story ahead of any of the other authors. At just over 1,800 words, it's the shortest in the collection, which brings me to...

4. Select #21: the lead-in to the final story. Preferably long, and completely different in every way. In this case, I selected C. W. Blackwell's 'Making Up for Lost Time,' which clocks in at about 5,000 words, a poignant tale of a down-on-his-luck divorced dad and his daughter.

5. Sort the remainder of the stories by word count. In this way, I can begin to vary the order by story length, i.e., long, medium, short, long, medium, short, and so on.

6. Of course, just sorting by length isn't enough. That's where my Comments column, a one-sentence reminder about the content, comes in. It wouldn't do, for example, to have Pam Barnsley's homeless man in 'The Underground,' compete with C.W. Blackwell's down-on-his-luck dad. That said, at roughly 2,500 words, it's not long enough to follow Charlie Kondek's mid-length opener. The balance? Inserting Susan Daly's 5,000 word 'A Talent for Fame' between the two.

7. The heavy lifting done, I tinker with the order until it's right. Sort, re-sort. Re-read the intro of each story until I'm finally satisfied it's as good as it's going to get. After all, even the most devoted tinkerers have to let go sometime.

READERS: Do you pay attention to the order of stories? Or do you read them based on author name recognition, story title, and/or length?

About Midnight Schemers & Daydream Believers: 22 Stories of Mystery & Suspense:

Desire or desperation, revenge or retribution--how far would you go to realize a dream? The twenty-two authors in this collection explore the possibilities, with predictably unpredictable results. 

Featuring stories by Pam Barnsley, Linda Bennett, Clark Boyd, C. W. Blackwell, Amanda Capper, Susan Daly, James Patrick Focarile, Rand Gaynor, Gina X. Grant, Julie Hastrup, Beth Irish, Charlie Kondek, Edward Lodi, Bethany Maines, Jim McDonald, donalee Moulton, Michael Penncavage, Judy Penz Sheluk, KM Rockwood, Peggy Rothschild, Debra Bliss Saenger, and Joseph S. Walker.

Find it at www.books2read.com/midnight-schemers

About Judy: The Past Chair of Crime Writers of Canada (CWC) and a former journalist and magazine editor, Judy Penz Sheluk (author/editor) is the multiple award-winning author of seven bestselling mystery novels, two books on publishing, and several short stories. She is also the editor/publisher of five Superior Shores Anthologies. In addition to CWC, Judy is a member of International Thriller Writers and the Short Mystery Fiction Society.

Find her at www.judypenzsheluk.com

 

Play It Again, Scarlett--and Beam Me Up a Box of Chocolates

No, that's not the title of a new movie. It's just a mix of some of the things often misquoted from movies and TV shows. Funny thing about misquotes: They're usually near-misses--very close to what was said, but not quite. And thanks to the magic of DVDs and streaming and YouTube, we can now look back at those scenes almost whenever we want. After all, Clarice, I had an old friend for dinner, and we're not in Kansas anymore.

For what it's worth, that kind of lapse is called The Mandela Effect, a situation in which a large group of people share a strong yet false memory, and remember it as a reality.  (The name refers to the belief, by some, that Nelson Mandela died in prison in the 1980s, although he actually died at his home in 2013.) It of course doesn't help our memories, in this case, that some famous movie quotes wind up shortened or otherwise changed when used again in sequels and remakes and satires.

Take a look, and see how many of the following quotes you can remember, and how many you might've remembered wrong. 

Casablanca -- No one in the movie ever says, "Play it again, Sam." Just before what might be the longest close-up in film history, Ilsa says, "Play it once, Sam. For old times' sake." And later, alone and brooding in the darkened tavern with Sam, Rick says, "You played it for her, you can play it for me. If she can stand it, I can. Play it."

The Treasure of the Sierra Madre -- Almost everyone remembers the line "We don't need no stinkin' badges." But what the bandit actually says to Bogie and his friends instead is "Badges? We ain't got no badges. We don't need no badges. I don't have to show you any stinkin' badges."

The Wizard of Oz -- After the tornado, Dorothy does not say, to her dog, "Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore." The correct quote is, "Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore." And yes, I realize I'm nitpicking, here. But I wanted this post to be longer than just a couple of examples.

Planet of the Apes -- At the very end, as Charlton Heston's character looks up at the ruins of the statue, he does not say, "Damn you. Damn you all to hell." All I can figure is, that's the network-TV prime-time sanitized version. What he really says is, "Goddamn you. Goddamn you all to hell."

Nowhere in the Johnny Weissmuller Tarzan movies (there were twelve of them) will you hear the quote "Me Tarzan, you Jane." In the first movie, Tarzan the Ape Man, he and his sweetie just point back and forth to each other and say their names, over and over.

The Empire Strikes Back -- I can't tell you how many times I've heard the quote "Luke, I am your father." But what Darth Vader really says, in that great James Earl Jones voice, is, "No, I am your father."

Dracula -- Bela Lugosi never says, "I vant to drink your blood." With or without the Hungarian accent.

All About Eve -- Another one-word mistake: Margo Channing doesn't say to the group, "Fasten your seat belts. It's going to be a bumpy ride." She says, "Fasten your seat belts. It's going to be a bumpy night." A bumpy night?

Gone with the Wind -- Along those same lines, Rhett Butler's parting shot is not "Frankly, Scarlett, I don't give a damn." He says, "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."

Dirty Harry -- Despite what most of us think we remember, Inspector Callahan never says, "Do you feel lucky, punk?" He says, "You gotta ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?"

The Graduate -- Ben Braddock's question to Elaine's mother is often quoted as "Mrs. Robinson, are you trying to seduce me?" Instead, that should be "Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me." (pause) "Aren't you?"

Jaws -- Sometimes the difference between real and remembered comes down to just one word. Chief Brody does not say to Quint, "We're gonna need a bigger boat." He says, "You're gonna need a bigger boat." Though, truthfully, all of them are.

James Cagney never says, in any of his movies, "You dirty rat." The closest he comes is in Taxi! He says, "Come out and take it, you dirty yellow-bellied rat."

White Heat -- Cagney again, as gangster Cody Jarrett. He doesn't say, "I'm on top of the world, Ma!" What he says is, "Made it, Ma! Top of the world!"

Hondo -- In the 1953 John Wayne Western, Hondo Lane does not say, to bad guy Ed Lowe, "A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do." He says, "A man oughta do what he thinks is best." (Back then, moviemakers didn't much care what women thought.)

Star Trek -- Never in the entire TV series does Captain Kirk, or anyone else, say, "Beam me up, Scotty." They come close, a lot of times, but never use that exact phrase.

Ghostbusters -- Bill Murray's character does not say, to Aykroyd's character, after an unsuccessful busting, "I've been slimed." Instead he says, "He slimed me."

The Simpsons -- Bart Simpson never says, anywhere or anytime in the series, "Cowabunga, dude." That quote came instead from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Whoodathunkit, bro?

Field of Dreams -- Most of us think the otherworldly voice says to Ray, "If you build it, they will come." It doesn't. The team does indeed come, and so do tourists, later, but the voice says, "If you build it, he will come." Meaning Ray's father.

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs -- The Evil Queen doesn't ask, "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?" Instead she asks, "Magic mirror on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?' It should be mentioned, though, that in the original Brothers Grimm fairy tale it was "Mirror, mirror . . ."

Celebrity impersonators love to use the Cary Grant quote "Judy, Judy, Judy"--but he never says this to anybody, in any of his movies.

The A Team -- Mr. T's character B. A. Baracus if often quoted as saying, "Pity the fool." Actually, folks who remember that are half right: The actor Mr. T does say the line, but he says it as boxer Clubber Lang, in the movie Rocky III. The quote didn't come from The A Team at all.

The Silence of the Lambs -- Dr. Lecter does not say, "Hello, Clarice," either in the prison with her or on the phone with her at the end of the movie. He says, only once, "Good evening, Clarice." NOTE: I think he does say, "Hello, Clarice" in Hannibal, the first Lambs sequel. Although he was addressing a different actress in the Clarice Starling role.

Titanic -- Jack doesn't say, with arms outstretched, "I'm king of the world." He says, "I'm the king of the world." I know: nitpicking, nitpicking.

Wall Street -- Gordon Gekko's quote is not "Greed is good." It's "Greed, for lack of a better word, is good." Maybe the screenwriter needed a bigger wordcount for the script.

Laurel and Hardy movies -- Oliver Hardy never says, "Well, here's another fine mess you've gotten us into." Instead, he says, in at least a dozen different movies, "Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into." For the record, though, one of the films is titled Another Fine Mess.

Forrest Gump -- Forrest does not say, "Life is a box of chocolates." He almost does, but the actual line is, "Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates."

Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring -- Gandalf doesn't say, to his group in the mine, "Run, you fools." He says, "Fly, you fools." And no, they don't have wings; what he's telling them to do is flee.

By now you probably want to flee, too, and frankly don't give a damn, but before you do . . . please let me know if you can think of other misquoted lines from the world of cinema or television. Did any of those I listed surprise you? Did I misquote any of the misquotes? And forgive me for wishing that someday some of my own fictional dialog will be quoted someplace, by anyone, either correctly or incorrectly. Hope springs eternal.

Meanwhile, keep watching those movies and series. It's necessary research, you know, for us writers. At least that's what I told my wife, the other day. She replied, "You're gonna need a bigger TV."

Actually she didn't say that, which makes it a misquote. What she did say was "Sure it is," and rolled her eyes. But the Shadow knows . . .

Where Everybody Knows Your Name

  

I'm not a huge fan of network television. Except for the nightly news, our TV's always off unless I'm watching a DVD or streaming a movie, which I admit does happen a lot. But in the old days, when network shows were all we had, I sat there pop-eyed and hypnotized almost every night, mostly watching cowboys or cops, but some comedies, too.

Most of the sitcoms were bad. Badly written and badly acted, although I didn't know it then, and if I did know it, I probably didn't care. I watched 'em anyway, unless I was reading. Now, in hindsight, I wish I'd only been reading.

But a few of the sitcoms were good, years ago, and I now realize they were good because they were well written. A couple of the best were The Bob Newhart Show and The Mary Tyler Moore Show, which I think I remember aired back-to-back on Saturday nights, back in the mid-'70s. What struck me about those two was they weren't just entertaining, they were funny--laugh-out-loud, slap-yo-mama funny sometimes, and yes, part of it was because of the great characters (some of them I'll remember forever). But mostly it was because of the writing. Not just the jokes, but the whole thing, and the dialog was sharp and cool and witty.

The TV version of M*A*S*H was another example. I had already seen the movie and loved it, so when I watched the TV pilot it was with low expectations--but I was pleasantly surprised. Certainly more folks today will remember Hawkeye Pierce as Alan Alda than as Donald Sutherland, right? (Funny story, though, about the movie version: I was a green 2nd lieutenant in the Air Force when the movie came out, and it arrived at one of our two base theaters at the very same time that Patton arrived at the other theater. At first, most of us flocked to see Patton, mostly at the urging of our superior officers. But after the first night, the word got around, and for the rest of that week EVERYone was packing in to see M*A*S*H while the other theater, showing Patton, was almost empty. The base commander was not pleased and told us so, which of course secretly pleased us even more--my little group found Hot Lips Houlihan a lot more interesting than George S. Patton. Ah, those good old days of military service . . .)

Sorry--back to the main point. Around that time and in the years shortly afterward, several other good sitcoms came along as well--All in the Family, WKRP, Taxi, etc., and a little gem no one remembers called Wings. And, much later, Friends, The Simpsons, and Seinfeld. But my all-time favorite TV comedy series was, and always will be, Cheers. Even back then, I had noticed that the very best shows had a well-planned setting--MTM had a TV newsroom, Bob Newhart a psychiatrist's office, M*A*S*H a mobile army hospital--but Cheers had maybe the most promising location of all: a friendly neighborhood bar. That setting ensured that all kinds of crazy characters would be coming in and going out all the time, and with its absolutely top-notch cast, this show couldn't go wrong. I loved it from the get-go. Even after the series had been running awhile, every decision the producers made seemed to turn out right. Who would've thought the beloved character Coach, when he passed away, could ever be replaced?--but Woody turned out to be just as appealing a bartender, if not more so. And I wound up liking Rebecca as much as I liked Diane. Is it any surprise that the Frasier spinoff was funny and successful as well?

My fond memories of Cheers were the reason I felt such sadness a few days ago, when I heard of the passing of George Wendt, who played the lovable Norm Peterson in all 275 episodes of the series. I saw an old interview of him the other day, in which he was asked why his character was so popular. Part of his answer was something like: "I just said the lines the writers gave me to say." Again, the fine writing was a giant part of Cheers's lasting success. Anyone who thinks we fiction writers can't learn something from shows like that--well, they're fooling themselves. If you pay attention, you'll easily see the brilliance there. The timing, the delivery, the way every line of the script deepens the characters and delights the viewer and keeps things moving.

Maybe it's me, but I just don't see that kind of thing often anymore, in our current TV offerings. Even the camera work doesn't seem as professional. Some of the shows are good, sure, but many, many are not.

What are your thoughts, on this? Do you watch much network TV, and specifically the sitcoms? Did you watch them in the past? What were your favorites, back then? Have you now given up on them, like me? Do you agree that the writing is worse, in recent years, for that kind of programming? Has our collective sense of humor changed? All observations are welcome!

Meanwhile, I think I'll go find a YouTube episode of Cheers to cheer me up. As an example, here's an exchange I saw the other day:

Coach: "What's shakin', Norm?"

Norm: "All four cheeks and a couple of chins."

God, I loved that show.

Pass the Popcorn

I watch a lot of movies. So many, actually, that I often run out of current and recent movies and wind up re-watching those I've seen many times before. At least those are easy to find: I have three dozen boxes, each holding 26 DVDs, scattered around the house, plus God knows how many more DVDs on and underneath the bookshelves here in my home office. It's enough to make my wife scream. Thank goodness I'm a great husband in all other respects (he said modestly).

Anyhow, I recently rewatched The Quiet Man, a lighthearted John Wayne/Maureen O'Hara movie set in Ireland, which on the one hand is not my usual kind of movie and on the other hand is one that I always enjoy. And it occurred to me, when it was finished and the credits were rolling, that this well-known and award-winning film was adapted not from a novel but from a short story, first published by Maurice Walsh in The Saturday Evening Post in the early 1930s. Whoodathunkit?

That, of course, got me thinking about other film adaptations from the short stuff. And since I had an upcoming and uncompleted SleuthSayers column that needed to be completed . . .

Here are my highly-biased (and always changing) picks for the ten best movies adapted from short stories:

1. It's a Wonderful Life -- from "The Greatest Gift," Philip Van Doren Stern

2. Rear Window -- "It Had to Be Murder," Cornell Woolrich

3. High Noon -- "The Tin Star," Mark Casper

4. Bad Day at Black Rock -- "Bad Day at Honda," Howard Breslin

5. The Quiet Man -- "The Quiet Man," Maurice Walsh

6. Hondo -- "The Gift of Cochise," Louis L'Amour

7. The Killers -- "The Killers," Ernest Hemingway

8. The Swimmer -- "The Swimmer," John Cheever

9. 3:10 to Yuma -- "Three-Ten to Yuma," Elmore Leonard

10. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button -- "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button," F. Scott Fitzgerald  

Five runners-up: The Birds ("The Birds," Daphne du Maurier), Stagecoach ("The Stage to Lordsburg," Ernest Haycox), The Tall T ("The Captives," Elmore Leonard), The Secret Life of Walter Mitty ("The Secret Life of Walter Mitty," James Thurber), Million Dollar Baby ("Million $$$ Baby," F.X. Toole)

Continuing with this idea of short fiction to screen, the following are my picks for the ten best movies adapted from novellas:

1. The Shawshank Redemption -- from Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption, Stephen King

2. Stand by Me -- The Body, Stephen King

3. The Thing -- Who Goes There?, John W. Campbell, Jr.

4. The Mist -- The Mist, Stephen King

5. Apocalypse Now -- Heart of Darkness, Joseph Conrad

6. Silver Bullet -- Cycle of the Werewolf, Stephen King

7. Hearts in Atlantis -- Low Men in Yellow Coats, Stephen King

8. The Old Man and the Sea -- The Old Man and the Sea, Ernest Hemingway

9. The Man Who Would Be King -- The Man Who Would Be King, Rudyard Kipling

10. The Snows of Kilimanjaro -- The Snows of Kilimanjaro, Hemingway

NOTE: Yes, I like Stephen King.

Five runners-up: A River Runs Through It (A River Runs Through It, Norman Maclean), Minority Report (The Minority Report, Philip K. Dick). The Fly (The Fly, David Cronenberg), Breakfast at Tiffany's (Breakfast at Tiffany's, Truman Capote), Shop Girl (Shop Girl, Steve Martin)

Breaking news: I was reminded, by SleuthSayer Joseph D'Agnese's column yesterday, of several more good movies that started out short: Arrival, All About Eve, Brokeback Mountain, etc. (Joe, do great minds think alike, or what?)

Okay, which ones, Faithful Readers, did I leave out? Which do you think shouldn't have been included? Have you writers had any of your short stories or novella-length fiction adapted for the movies or TV? (For me, no.) Anything pending or promising? (No.) Any near-misses? (Yes.) Sold any film options? (Yes.) Do you have cinematic hopes for future projects? Who knows, right? 

Who knows, indeed. If you're like me, and none of your fictional creations have made it to the big screen, don't lose hope. Hold steady, stick to the plan, maintain the course. 

Anything's possible . . .

Well, That's a Different Story

  

Like most writers who've been at it for a while, I've gravitated toward certain kinds of stories. I wander off the path pretty regularly--any route you follow too often gets old--but I find that most of my stories these days involve (1) mystery/suspense, (2) a Southern setting, (3) a protagonist who's a regular, average person, (4) a handful of named characters (no more than four or five), (5) either a murder or a robbery, (6) a third-person POV, and (7) a plot with at least a couple of twists.

If you consider two of my latest published stories, you'd find all these elements, but you'd have to look at both to find them all. Each story veers some distance away from my norm, and that's something I didn't even realize or think about while it was being written. I only noticed it later.

Here's what I mean.

My latest story in Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine went on sale a few weeks ago--"Heading West" appears in their May/June 2025 issue. In some ways, that story fits right into my comfort zone: mystery /crime, robbery, less than half a dozen named characters, third-person viewpoint, several plot reversals, etc. But in other ways I varied the template a bit. For one thing, this story is set in the Old West, which I have done often in the past but rarely at AHMM. Out of my 28 stories there, two have been Westerns.

NOTE 1: A quick word about writing in the Western genre. I've often heard writers say they like to do mystery stories because those always contain a crime. Why's that important? Because a crime story means conflict is already there--it's built right in--and we all know that conflict makes for a good story (usually the more the better). I think the same can be said of Westerns. Almost every Western story I can think of, except maybe Old Yeller, contains gunfights and violence of some shape or another, so . . . well, you see my point.

This story also contains some conflict that goes behind human vs. human. Much of the agony in "Heading West" is human vs. nature. Not only the rough environment, but the gradual buildup and arrival of a powerful tornado. (Living where I do, I know a bit about tornadoes, and the one in this story scores a 10 on the Wizard-of-Oz scale.) When you mix a terrible storm with a band of crazed outlaws who want to kill your protagonists, that makes things tough for the home team. It also makes things fun for the writer. If you happen to read the story, I hope you'll have half as good a time as I did, writing it.

The other recent publication I wanted to mention is my story "Redwood Creek" in Michael Bracken's anthology Sleuths Just Wanna Have Fun: Private Eyes in the Materialistic Eighties (Down & Out Books). It appeared about the same time as my new AHMM story did, and features 13 other stories, each of them based on something memorable from that decade. I picked (naturally) "Movies of the '80s," so I dutifully made sure the early clues to the identity of the villain came directly from the movies that won Oscars for Best Picture, Best Actor, etc., during those ten years. Putting together a plot puzzle based on Academy Awards trivia turned out to be great fun. 

Some of the things (besides the 1980s theme) that made this story a bit different from most of my creations were that it was a PI story (I don't write a great many of those); it featured 16 named characters, which is a lot for a 5100-word story; its crime was a dognapping; and it was written in first person. As for POV, I've actually found myself writing more first-person stories than I once did, especially if there's a detective working a case that I want him/her to solve along with the reader.

I also made sure my private eye was far different from the Spenser/Mannix/Spade/Marlowe stereotype. Here's an early paragraph from the story:

    My name, by the way, is Ryan Grant, and I'm a retired private investigator. I was not, however, a movies-and-novels kind of PI. No downtown office with a bourbon bottle in the desk drawer for me, no pebbled-glass window in the door, no ceiling fan, no overflowing ashtray. I didn't even smoke. For twenty years I worked out of an office that was once the guest bedroom in our home while my college-professor wife earned most of our income. I was a liberated man.

NOTE 2: Another different--and, to me, special--thing about this particular anthology is that all the other contributors are friends that I've met in person or via Zoom. That doesn't happen often, and makes me look forward even more to reading all their stories.

How about the rest of you? Do you find yourself leaning toward the same kinds of stories, the more you write? Do you find yourself breaking the mold now and then? When you do, how much do you vary your settings, plots, POVs, characters, etc.? Do you ever hop from one genre to the other, or mix them up? How often? Has that been successful? Let me know, in the comments section below.  

As for me, several more "unusual" shorts are coming up later in May--but, hey, that's a different story.

See you then.