04 June 2023

The Week in Pictures

For friends who claim I don’t reveal much truly personal, pfffft. End of month, I’m getting a colonoscopy. So there. That’s personal.

It’s not my first and afterwards, like Poe, I bought a pallet of bricks and walled up the bathroom remains in an attempt to protect future archeologists from planetary collapse.

Those so-called flavor-packs… what are they thinking? Brake fluid would taste better. At least this doctor, a gastroenterologist, allows Gatorade in the prep. And he has a sense of humor. Note this sign in their parking lot:

But what really prompted this article was a license plate on a nearby car. As I snapped the photo, a lady came strolling up, nicely, not aggressively. I explained why I was taking pictures of her car.

Nancy didn’t mind and explained it was her husband’s. He’s a writer, a real one, not merely professionally published, but award winning. Peer closely at the license tag and notice the frame around the plate. He’s a winner of the Bram Stoker award for Best First Novel and a Stoker award for Lifetime Achievement. Pretty damn cool.

Obviously he writes in the horror genre. He goes by Owl Goingback and happens to be the only other non-romance fiction writer I’ve come across in Central Florida.

Computer programs that generate tag numbers are designed to weed out certain combinations. Obscenity is an obvious category, whether automatically generated or requested by a car owner. Florida rejects about 500 request a year, not counting those manufactured by the state in the format of XYZ•123.

But vulgarity isn’t the only filtered category. You won’t see plates with certain combinations:

  • FBI-123     CIA-123     IRS-123
  • DEA-123     ATF-123     IBM-123
  • and so on…

IBM? True. It’s among the many forbidden combinations. Thus I was surprised to pull up behind a vehicle bearing a tag certain to outrage Florida’s book-banning obscenity police.

As I returned home, a traffic light caught me at Lee Road (they misspelled my name) and I-4, I noticed a license tag.

I can’t wait til the governor discovers this affront to book burners across the state. It must be a conspiracy. Its left part is as pornographic, lascivious, lecherous, licentious, libidinous, and scabrous as the right. Our governor will clutch his wee pearls. Surely, that cannot be an accident.

Will the governor’s appointees plan a plate burning? Or bonfire the entire car? Or torch the hapless party who allowed this… this… this lewd, rude, dirty, filthy, vulgar, foul, coarse, crude, gross, vile, nasty, disgusting, offensive, shameless, immoral smut to sully America’s roads?

That’s personal.


  1. Naughty, Leigh! And on a Sunday, too! grin - I think this calls for a penance. I'll leave that to your (very vivid) imagination, because I only write crime now (note angel halo)

    1. Melodie, it requires a Southern belle voice to say, "Whah, ah have no ideal what you are talking about, honey." I don't have an acceptable accent, so I'll simply insist I took the photos Thursday and wrote the article on Saturday, so is the angelic halo big enough for two?

  2. Kiti says I am really funny when I start coming out from under the anesthetic. Remember to not give up any personal secrets while you are under the gas,

    1. Good advice, RT. I gave my credit card information to the little LPN. She's keeping it so safe, she won't give it back.
      In the twilight following my first kidney stone experience, nurses wanted to give me a bedpan. I was equally insistent about visiting the restroom myself. Apparently when I managed to stand, the nurses backed up and said, "Let him go. He's too big to say no to."

  3. Don't forget to buy a pack of Depends, because you can't sit on the porcelain throne all the time.

    1. Oh THANKS, Eve! Sheesh. I'd like to push that off another year or two.

      But remember the homicidal astronaut who wore diapers so she wouldn't have to stop in her cross-country drive to kill a rival? Me, I'd cancel that murder plot.

  4. I remember decades ago hearing about a state turning down a request for a vanity plate that read HOOKER. The requester, Reverend Hooker, was not best pleased.

    1. Rob, the Rev Hooker's situation sounds like a Saturday Night Live skit.

  5. A Broad Abroad04 June, 2023 19:00

    It would appear the 'book-banning obscenity police' are not limited to the Sunshine State. Recently, I read of a school district in Utah banning the Bible from some school libraries due to it containing violence and vulgarity.
    Years ago, South Africa's old apartheid government kept a tight rein on the films and books we could watch and read, to protect the people from perceived perversion and poisoning of the mind. On their list of wicked, sinful literature once appeared a book they couldn't possibly have read, so banned on title alone – Anna Sewell's Black Beauty

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