I’ve been following often humorous interactions between Gen Z members versus Gen X and occasionally (great)grandparents, the Boomers. Most of the jabs and jibes have been light-hearted, not overly unkind, although teachers and parents have begun to worry about Gen Zs finding their way in the world.
In the midst of these philosophical and practical concerns, I’ve become a more personal observer of the scene. Although I’ve witnessed essentials in the following vignettes, they represents a melding of characters, a Gen X composite rather than any one person. Further, no animals were harmed in the making of this scene. With that in mind…
Gen Z v Dad
“Hey, dude, I need…”
“The pronunciation is ‘dad’ not ‘dude’.”
“Whatever. I need…”
“Need is not the same as want. Neither do you need nor do you want. Consider the lilies of the field…”
“What? Lilies? What does that even mean? Dad, lemme have $6k.”
“Neither do they toil… You need $6000 maybe for heart surgery?”
“New rig for my gaming career. A professional needs professional gear. I’m getting my butt kicked on my old system.”
“Last year’s model, right? As I recall, it ran $2200.”
“Exacto. My cheapass loadout can’t compete, no cap.”
“Son, what did I teach you about work?”
“You told me never ever work a day in my life.”
“My full statement was, ‘Find a job you love, you’ll never ever work a day in your life.’”
“Job? Job? Please shoot me.”
“A good job brings income and food and shelter. How much guap has your gaming earned?”
“You can’t calculate petty capitalist concepts. This is my career.”
“What about your bank account?”
“Bruh! That thing you set up when I was twelve? Nobody uses banks anymore. It’s all Venmo, Kurv, Apple Cash app. Listen man, slide me a new card without a loser $500 limit like before.”
“That very limit allowed the family to eat that month.”
“Never mind. I’ll hit up Mom.”
“Good luck with that.”
Gen Z v Mom
“Mom…”
“No.”
“I haven’t asked anything yet.”
“No, my child.”
“Mom, give me a chance.”
“You asked your father? What did he say?”
“Uh… He said ask you.”
“Are your clothes still strewn on the floor?”
“Mommm. I can’t excel in a socialist society when swamped with minor issues like laundry. Anyway…”
“Hard working boys smell pretty bad without fresh clothes, no matter who they’re going out with.”
“What? Listen, I need six thou…”
“Isn’t that a lot to spend on a date? Are you matching on Boo?”
“Eww. Mom, I’m not dating. At all. It’s for…”
“Susan Deprez says her daughter thinks you’re cute. Clueless but cute.”
“No, the money’s…”
“And Eboni Browne’s been phoning a lot. Who are you inviting to the dance?”
“Ugh. I have no time for primitive mating rituals.”
“Well, if you like boys…”
“Seriously? C’mon, I’m into major gaming.”
“Oh, before I forget, the comic book store posted a hiring notice. You could sell Superman, deal Deadpool, push Punisher, hawk the Hulk, market Marvel.”
“No way. Labor is for losers. Look…”
“So about the primitive rite of washing clothes, rendering lye, wading into the stream, scrubbing musty shirts with stones. Son, feed the washing machine and you’ll finish in time for dinner. Now, out of my kitchen. Shoo! Move along, my child. Hustle. Consider the lilies of the field…”
noun, from physics
An uncharged elementary particle considered to transmit weak interaction between other elementary particles.
Dear Heaven - I need an interpreter!
ReplyDelete“You asked your father? What did he say?”
Noooo, don't go there - BIG trouble awaited anyone trying to play one parent off against the other
Absolutely, ABA. Allied parents can be formidable.
DeleteSadly, most of us no longer have mothers like this.
ReplyDeleteMine could be terrifying and she was only 5 feet tall.
DeleteSeriously hilarious! And too true, I fear.
ReplyDeleteHumour can be painful, Melodie. You know all to well.
DeleteHilarious. On the other hand, we were just talking about how hard our Gen Z granddaughters work. I had 11-week summers off to hitchhike through "Europe on $5 a day" and weekends and many weeknights to party and hang out in high school and college. Our granddaughters had homework in high school with internships in the summers, work work work and internships in college, and now the older one works her head off at her first job. I remember doing a lot of goofing off at mine.
ReplyDeleteWell done, Liz (and granddaughters). Stories like that give us hope for the future.
Delete🤣😁🤣😁😂
ReplyDelete😃
DeleteWonderfully done!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Eve! Gen Z is a thing of their own.
DeleteMy 25-year-old son is gen Z, and he is not the oldest of the generation. He is a hard worker, a thinker, a planner. Gen Alpha is the one to worry about. They all had cell phones with videos shoved in their faces from birth, which isn't true of all of gen Z. Noreen
ReplyDeleteNoreen, that's wonderful. Gen Z will survive quite nicely and much of the credit will go to good mothers like you. Gen α… and so the cycle repeats. Thanks, Noreen, and may your son help guide the world.
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