Days ago, friends faced off with our local Code Enforcement. If you’re not familiar with this form of government overreach, it’s like a steroidal HOA (homeowners association), where a few people relish telling other people what to do. Hey, I’m somewhat of a maven on the subject, which is about as glorious as a rancher hitching up his trousers and saying, “Why yes, Little Missy, I am an expert on cattle bloat. You must read my dissertation on Guernsey rumenectomy.”
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| Genuine photo of Code Enforcement Clerk |
Meanwhile back at the ranch, my friends stumbled upon a lien filed on their property to the tune of $45,000 and ever increasing. Lambs in the woods and babes to the slaughter they were. They phoned Code Enforcement innocently asking what they must do, much like asking a Big Bad Wolf where to buy your building materials. They said, “Pay the fines and interests and liens and anything else we can dream up.” Yeah, they said that, more or less.
“No,” said I. “No, no, no,” said other friends, some which have had direct experience with the agency. “Code Enforcement is not your friend,” we told them. “Don’t pay the lien. Take it before the board. Take it before their magistrate. You might pay a few hundred dollars, but you won’t pay tens of thousands.”
I volunteered to go before the board. Armed with a limited power of attorney, I was willing to do battle. This offer wasn’t without a plan.
My friends had done something unusual, they’d saved every bit of mail going back decades. They hired a investigative bookkeeper to unbundle those boxes of mail searching for Code Enforcement communications. None. Not one whit. In particular, I enquired about proof of service. None. Not a scrap in evidence.
Consider me unsurprised. I’d been dealing with County Code Enforcement a long time. They almost demolished a house twice while pretending they were victims of a computer error. Funny… The signature on the demo order looked awfully human-like.
I learned some of their tricks. Statutes offer a substitute service option of ‘publishing’, i.e, inserting a notice in a local paper. Our local newspaper is The Orlando Sentinel, but funny thing: certain county departments routinely published in the Heritage Florida Jewish News in Fern Park. The county claimed that saved taxpayers money. The rest of us had a darker hypothesis. However, thanks to saving all their mail, my friends found themselves in the unique position of proving a negative.
Code Enforcement hadn’t come up with proof of service, so I felt more confident than ever. “You’re in a great position,” I said. But… have you had friends who asked your advice but invariably did the opposite? Well, these are them.
They said, “That’s not what the nice Code Enforcement lady told us to do.”
“Code Enforcement is not your friend,” I repeated. “You’re asking your cellmate why you need an extra bar of soap.”
My brilliant combination of mangled metaphors did not deter them. I’m devastated to report they didn’t request an appearance before the Board or the CEB magistrate. They paid the full amount. A party erupted. “Whoopie, we got a live one!” Their windfall celebration could be heard in Alligator Alley. I feel horrible.
Now that I got that off my chest, I confess this has been a buildup to write about process service– or the lack thereof. See you next time.
Sounds like the basis for a mystery story!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Janice - a murder mystery!!
ReplyDeleteMelodie and Janice, you would not believe the battle County Code Enforcement waged with me. They're more professional now, but back then a cadre of utterly corrupt 'officers' took me on as a project. They had a lot of power and they used it… actually misused it. Trespassing and lying under oath meant nothing to that cabal.
DeleteFortunately honest workers in Code Enforcement understood the situation and tried to quietly help those 'tagged' by the bad guys. They literally saved my house– twice.
But the corrupt group? Yeah, if someone made a movie about a Code Enforcement murder mystery, I'd make the popcorn, extra butter.
Our HOAs do not wield quite the same 'authority' (legal or otherwise) as yours. However, this sounds just like my local municipality, the workings of which are a mystery to most. Keeping records of every communication has proved invaluable. I work too hard to pay for bureaucratic errors and incompetence. How sad that your friends chose not to listen to your advice.
ReplyDeleteThanks, ABA. Good to see you!
DeleteI was disappointed they chose not to challenge the egregious fine. Don't encourage them, right? More often than not, their fines outweigh criminal fines by a large factor and they don't follow legal rules like due process and equal treatment under the law. Ugh.
So they actually could have proved that they didn't owe this money at all, because (a.) they saved all their mail, & (b.) they had the benefit of your good advice, but they paid it anyway? Got it.
ReplyDeleteI know, Elizabeth. I worked to build a case and only to have it blown off. They couldn't believe a governing entity could be wrong.
DeleteLeigh, thank God I was raised by a New York CPA from Astoria, who taught me to NEVER trust bureaucrats, keep every receipt and every communication from a government entity or insurance company, and never, ever, ever pay a bill until you're 1000% certain that you owe it.
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