tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3119105822589181967.post1498372639988487240..comments2024-03-29T04:38:14.302-04:00Comments on SleuthSayers: Shoot the Sheriff on the First PageLeigh Lundinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07921276795499571578noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3119105822589181967.post-42614003020549808372016-06-13T15:53:03.419-04:002016-06-13T15:53:03.419-04:00Thanks, Bobbi! Crooked Letter, Crooked Letter is ...Thanks, Bobbi! <i>Crooked Letter, Crooked Letter</i> is one of Tom Franklin's best novels, I thought. He's good at shorts as well.<br /><br />Jack Bickham must have been a great writing instructor, because his books are wonderful. I often quote him, on several different writing points.John Floydhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04001712728130488485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3119105822589181967.post-68027896943660807992016-06-13T09:20:25.819-04:002016-06-13T09:20:25.819-04:00I'm a little late to the party, but had to lau...I'm a little late to the party, but had to laugh when I saw CROOKED LETTER here. I actually bought it when we were in MS, based on the first line. Same reason I love all your short stories, John--great opening lines.<br /><br />Most of my story ideas start with an opening line of some sort. I'll admit I love using dialogue, but don't always use it. <br /><br />Interesting that you mentioned Bickham. I have well-worn copies of his books that I re-read over and over. Bobbi A. Chukran, Authorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16678371925926783260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3119105822589181967.post-41893829253076430382016-05-08T09:31:18.644-04:002016-05-08T09:31:18.644-04:00Thanks, Deborah. Whatever works, do it--right? I...Thanks, Deborah. Whatever works, do it--right? I don't know that I've ever used a first line as a prompt (maybe I should've), but I do try hard to make sure it reels the reader into whatever story I've created. Anytime I read a great opening sentences or paragraph, I suspect that the author worked hard at trying to put his or her best foot forward. <br /><br />Good openings do not automatically ensure that a good story will follow, but I have noticed that good stories rarely have bad openings.John Floydhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04001712728130488485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3119105822589181967.post-45318291047174847112016-05-08T08:27:39.256-04:002016-05-08T08:27:39.256-04:00As usual, a great article. I love first lines as p...As usual, a great article. I love first lines as prompts. Sometimes, I don't know what I'm going to write until a first excites me. Deborah Elliott-Uptonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00847049319243268520noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3119105822589181967.post-47971749152254241082016-05-07T18:24:27.323-04:002016-05-07T18:24:27.323-04:00Sorry, folks--I've been away at another signin...Sorry, folks--I've been away at another signing, and just got back.<br /><br />Leigh, I think that was part of Decamp's quote: "Shoot the sheriff on the first page and two Mexican cops on the second." Or maybe not.<br /><br />Liz, I love that one! I wish I had come up with it.<br /><br />Anonymous, I agree: two short sentences amount to the same thing. I like that quote.<br /><br />Thanks, Jacqueline! I think beginnings should almost always be rewritten, many times. When they're finally right, you know it. <br /><br /><br /><br />John Floydhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04001712728130488485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3119105822589181967.post-67073691091467906102016-05-07T17:32:00.436-04:002016-05-07T17:32:00.436-04:00Wonderful advice for all of us. Great examples! Be...Wonderful advice for all of us. Great examples! Beginnings are always the most difficult part for me. I generally rewrite several times before being satisfied.Jacqueline Seewaldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09177500620940251009noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3119105822589181967.post-53743683706028160822016-05-07T15:25:36.131-04:002016-05-07T15:25:36.131-04:00Darn! I ruined the cadence by omitting a word! Her...Darn! I ruined the cadence by omitting a word! Here's the correct version:<br /><br />"'Quien es?' he said again. And in that moment the first shot was fired and then the second." N. Scott Momaday, "The Ancient Child." Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3119105822589181967.post-24697362035489466552016-05-07T15:24:31.151-04:002016-05-07T15:24:31.151-04:00"'Quien es?' he said again. And in th..."'Quien es?' he said again. And in that moment the first shot fired and then the second." N. Scott Momaday, "The Ancient Child." (OK, I know technically this is 2 sentences rather than one. But it's the same idea and just as short. :-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3119105822589181967.post-58485992469305135352016-05-07T14:40:42.671-04:002016-05-07T14:40:42.671-04:00"Although it was winter, the nearest ocean fo..."Although it was winter, the nearest ocean four hundred miles away, and the Tribal Weathermen asleep because of boredom, a hurricane dropped from the sky in 1976 and fell so hard on the Spokane Indian Reservation that it knocked Victor from bed and his latest nightmare." - "Every Little Hurricane" by Sherman AlexieElizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00239163766419735693noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3119105822589181967.post-6653084569946455242016-05-07T13:35:26.573-04:002016-05-07T13:35:26.573-04:00John, that theory must work: I remember some of th...John, that theory must work: I remember some of those stories and damn well worth reading.<br /><br />In contrast, I had one story that wasn’t working and wasn’t selling. It opened with a man crouching among desert rocks. Then for some reason I added a two paragraph geology, geography, and ancient history lesson and it started to improve. But I also murdered two Mexican cops on page 2.Leigh Lundinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07921276795499571578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3119105822589181967.post-83750639718556684932016-05-07T09:47:19.394-04:002016-05-07T09:47:19.394-04:00Thanks, Melodie. I too have heard that it's s...Thanks, Melodie. I too have heard that it's sometimes best just to throw out the first couple chapters--or maybe switch the first two, if something's happening in the second one and not the first. That, to me, has always been a good argument for the use of prologues, if the prologue is interesting enough. Although I know that for many, prologues are no longer cool.<br /><br />And I think starting with action is at least as important (maybe even more important) in a short story.John Floydhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04001712728130488485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3119105822589181967.post-20706620997743065382016-05-07T09:39:09.121-04:002016-05-07T09:39:09.121-04:00Super post, John. I do a whole three hour class o...Super post, John. I do a whole three hour class on openings in my Crafting a Novel college course at Sheridan college. With beginning novelists, I almost always end up telling them, "Throw out your first two chapters. Your story starts in Chapter 3." I say it more nicely, of course!Melodie Campbellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07870938103759179132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3119105822589181967.post-81764662258397677002016-05-07T09:14:55.445-04:002016-05-07T09:14:55.445-04:00And you do it well, Fran! Thanks for chiming in. ...And you do it well, Fran! Thanks for chiming in. <br /><br />I re-watched the movie <i>Hannibal</i> recently, and I found it interesting that the opening scene didn't involve Dr. Lecter or anything to do with the main plot. It featured the protagonist (with a different actress playing Clarice Starling this time around, of course) involved in an gut-wrenching shootout with a drug gang. Only then did the movie slow down and begin the main storyline. And it worked--it showed us how brave/capable/compassionate the main character was, before anything else happened.John Floydhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04001712728130488485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3119105822589181967.post-71052753601083085162016-05-07T08:58:52.391-04:002016-05-07T08:58:52.391-04:00Great column, John. When I first entered fiction,...Great column, John. When I first entered fiction, a NY Time best-selling author visited our little writers' group and volunteered to critique the first ten pages of each participant's novel. I can still see her x-ing out the first five pages of almost every manuscript and saying, "Your story starts HERE." I agree with all you said, John, and to this day, I like to get the first murder in the first three pages or shock or surprise with that first line.<br />Fran Rizerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08655783035179620991noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3119105822589181967.post-63022650762699485182016-05-07T08:55:25.163-04:002016-05-07T08:55:25.163-04:00Your first line is one I intend to quote, Marilyn....Your first line is one I intend to quote, Marilyn. As we've agreed, the whole point is to make the reader want to find out what's happening, and why. And I would guess that a big percentage of my stories start with dialogue. Why NOT? I've always heard using dialogue is a good way to make sure you're <i>showing</i> and not <i>telling</i>. What better way to begin?<br /><br />Thanks for the note!John Floydhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04001712728130488485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3119105822589181967.post-24635878969916425642016-05-07T08:49:26.095-04:002016-05-07T08:49:26.095-04:00Wow. Thanks, John. In presentations to writers'...Wow. Thanks, John. In presentations to writers' groups, I "preach" first lines, first pages, first chapters; and your post says it the best I've read. I always bring a couple of pages of first line examples to hand out, and you've given me some fresh ideas. And speaking of starting with dialogue, my current WIP starts with "We bury our dead alive, don't we." It is not a question. Marilyn M. Johnstonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02265122134479282404noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3119105822589181967.post-54669191882846250742016-05-07T08:27:25.182-04:002016-05-07T08:27:25.182-04:00Paul, there are a number of rules about openings t...Paul, there are a number of rules about openings that I think can be happily violated. One I didn't mention is "Never start with dialogue." I've forgotten where I heard that one, but it certainly doesn't always apply. Some of the best stories/novels I've read begin with a single line spoken by a character who obviously hasn't been introduced yet, and much of the interest comes from WHY whatever is being said is being said.<br /><br />Bickham's "start as far into the story as possible" approach always seems to work best. I can't help noticing how many books/stories/movies begin that way, these days. Hook the reader/viewer, and only then worry about furnishing the backstory, etc.<br /><br />Thanks, Janice. I really do believe that the best of these can be very short. To quote King yet again, he once said the best "hook" ever was "In the beginning, God created heaven and earth."<br />John Floydhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04001712728130488485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3119105822589181967.post-82797597189411433512016-05-07T08:15:25.310-04:002016-05-07T08:15:25.310-04:00A good piece and interesting how many of the real ...A good piece and interesting how many of the real grabbers are short!janice Lawnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3119105822589181967.post-90158600526736948232016-05-07T08:14:05.736-04:002016-05-07T08:14:05.736-04:00Like you say, John, some rules work and some don’t...Like you say, John, some rules work and some don’t. I think it’s not to anyone’s advantage to be too strict about them. But, as I’ve heard, you have to know the rules in order to be able to break them. But I love the examples you give from Red Badge of Courage and Red Wind (a particular favorite opening of mine).<br /><br />And I like your line: “Dave Cotten sat on his back porch with a .38 revolver in his lap, staring at nothing in particular.” Makes me want to know what comes next.<br /><br />Also like your example of the teacher telling the student that their story doesn’t begin until page 7. Once, when I was rewriting/script doctoring a screenplay, I basically threw out the entire first act because, to paraphrase the teacher, the original writer’s story didn’t begin until act two. I kept a few bits of info or dialogue from act one, but threw out 99% because it was all backstory that was unnecessary, especially at the beginning and the real story didn’t kick in till much later.<br />Paul D. Markshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15466234708772287399noreply@blogger.com