26 November 2022

Behind a Screen, You Say? Writing Comedy as an Older Woman


Today, I'm writing a serious blog.  ('NO!  Don't do it!  Don't-' [ sound of body being dragged offstage...])

 I write comedy.  I wrote stand-up and had a regular column gig for several years.  I opened conferences on the speaker circuit  Nowadays, most of my crime short stories and novels are (hopefully) humorous.  My blog...well, that sometimes goes off the wall.

But I'm noticing that as I get older, if I do comedy in person, it seems to be more shocking.  Or rather, I am shocking people more.  They don't know how to take it.  I see them gasp and act confused.  Did I really mean what I said just then?  Was it meant to be funny?

I don't believe it's because I'm writing a different level of material.

So why?  Why does my comedy seem to shock people more than it did thirty years ago?

It's not the material.  It's my age.

Writing comedy when you are 30 is 'cute.'  I can't tell you how many people told me that I 'looked cute on stage' as I innocently said some outrageous things that made people laugh.

Now I know this is a controversial statement to put forth.  So let me say that this has been my experience, and perhaps it isn't everyone's.  But I have found that saying outrageous things on stage when you are 60 is not cute.  Women over 60, in my experience, are rarely described as 'cute' (unless they are silly and feeble and very old.)  Women over 60 cannot carry off 'innocent' (unless portraying someone very dumb.)  Women over 60 are expected to be dignified. I've found that women my age are not well received by crowds (especially liquored-up crowds.)

Phyllis Diller was a wonderful comic.  She did outrageous things on stage, and we laughed with her.  But she dressed like a crazy-woman and had us laughing AT her.  Some women I know dislike the fact that Diller made herself ridiculous in front of an audience.  I don't, because I know why she did it.

Here's the thing:  comedy is by nature dangerous.  It often makes fun of things that other people take seriously.  In fact, it's almost impossible to write or perform comedy and not offend someone, somewhere.

Women who are young and pretty can get away with murder.  Even better, they can get away with comedy.

But a woman over 60 who makes of fun of younger women is (often) seen as jealous, not funny.  A woman over 60 who makes fun of men is (often) viewed as bitter, not funny.  A woman over 60 who makes fun of other women over 60 can get away with it, but the big audience isn't there.

There are simply far fewer things an older woman can get away with poking fun at.

So what's a poor old gal to do?

I've been supremely lucky.  I've been able to transfer my somewhat madcap comedic style to writing books.  I can still make my living in comedy, but it's from behind a screen now.  The written page is a delightful medium that leaves much to the reader's imagination.

Which is probably a good thing, because right now I'm doing the Covid braless shlep-dress thing at this computer.  You don't want to see it.

Melodie Campbell gets paid to write silly stuff for unsuspecting publishers.  Her 17th book, The Merry Widow Murders, from Cormorant Books, is now available for preorder.  www.melodiecampbell.com

 The Author in her comedy days...


 The Author today...


15 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Laff! We'll still push the boundaries, won't we Barb.

      Delete
  2. The rules of the game for women in general suck. Oh, and I'm doing the Covid bra-less schlepping thing, too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm just not seeing much progress from 30 years ago, Eve. Had great hopes then.

      Delete
  3. Mel, I got to tell you, this older age thing is making an old man out of me. People come up to me and ask, "Aren't you R.T. Lawton?" And now I have to say, "No, but I used to be."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oooooh, I like that one, RT! May have to steal it, grin.

      Delete
  4. Elizabeth Dearborn26 November, 2022 12:39

    Braless ... that reminds me, the late, great Phyllis Diller had a routine that went kind of like this: "I went to see the doctor about these protruberances on my chest. And the doctor said, 'Damn! You could push those two together and make one good one!'"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Phyllis was a class act! (exactly what class...grin) The one I love is this: "When I was born, I was so ugly the doctor slapped my MOTHER!"

      Delete
  5. Hi Mel, in one of my very early unpublished novels (which I may resurrect) my protagonist muses that in general, not just in comedy, pushing the envelope as a woman is cute at 20, endearing at 30, annoying at 40 and simply pathetic over 50. Probably certifiable over 60. C’est la vie, if you’re a gal.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Donna, that is perfect! I'm going to have to remember that. Thanks for commenting!

      Delete
  6. This is sooooo true, Mel! I'm going through some stuff that's related. Mostly my beta readers are fans I know online. But I asked a young woman who knows me in my wrinkly, crippled real life. I also didn't make sure she paid attention when I told her what a beta reader does. She kept the book for six months--long after my publishers' edits were done, and sent me 5 pages of unrelenting criticism, mostly saying that my humor isn't funny and is "unrealistic". She said I should learn to write without humor or stop writing altogether because young people don't like humor in books (implication: by old people.) Clueless and bitchy, but it's amazing how it got to me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow, Anne! It seems to me this young person has no sense of humour at all, or at least a very simple one. Your humour is clever, and I can imagine would be over the heads of some young people. Is it that we older gals are supposed to stand aside, and not block publishing space for the young and spoiled? (I'm not referring to all young people here - just some who seem to think the world owes them.) Scary thought. But I agree with Bob below - Keep Writing!!

      Delete
  7. I would love to see you looking all prim and proper, hiding behind a podium on stage, looking up over your glasses and telling someone to please shut the fuck up. It would be, for me anyway, a perfect comedy moment.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As if I could ever look prim and proper, Kev.... :)

      Delete

Welcome. Please feel free to comment.

Our corporate secretary is notoriously lax when it comes to comments trapped in the spam folder. It may take Velma a few days to notice, usually after digging in a bottom drawer for a packet of seamed hose, a .38, her flask, or a cigarette.

She’s also sarcastically flip-lipped, but where else can a P.I. find a gal who can wield a candlestick phone, a typewriter, and a gat all at the same time? So bear with us, we value your comment. Once she finishes her Fatima Long Gold.

You can format HTML codes of <b>bold</b>, <i>italics</i>, and links: <a href="https://about.me/SleuthSayers">SleuthSayers</a>