"If the book begins with three dead girls on the floor of an Irish bar you know where you are. It's not a sweet little romance. So stop giving me those one-star reviews." - Linda Sands
04 October 2023
Quotes at the Marina
05 October 2022
Quotable Chicago... In Space!
As promised last month, here are some quotations from Chicon 8, the World Science Fiction Conference which I attended in Chicago in September. Unfortunately, all context for the quotes had be quarantined due to covid concerns.
"Science fiction is about upsetting society. Mystery is about restoring it." - Roberta Rogow
"I wrote this book but in a way the book wrote me. It was cheaper than therapy." - Shelley Parker-Chan
"Every medievalist's favorite movie is Monty Python and the Holy Grail. It's the only accurate one." - Jo Walton
"Terrorists are political illiterates." - David Gerrold
"Neil Gaiman could write a haiku about his intestinal issues and it would be made into a hit movie about one man's struggle with colitis." - John Scazi
"Writers have a sort of Stockholm Syndrome with the protagonist." - James Patrick Kelly
"A lot of scriptwriters think of a published novel as a piece-of-shit first draft they can work from." - Meg Elison
"I can really sell integrity." - Adam Stempel"How does time work? Ask your grandmother. She's seen more of it than you." - Joe Haldeman
"I have a five part answer to that. The first part has sixteen parts. " - John Scalzi
"Rule Number One: Do not time travel to a war." - Connie Willis
"I'm a child skeptic. Do they really exist? They're always fuzzy in photographs." - Paul Calhoun
"Use problematic authors as a motivation to write a better book." - Suzanne Palmer
"The urge to always have novelty leads, ironically, to the oldest conspiracy theories." - Kenneth Hite
"The current scam is cryptocurrency. It's tulips." - Connie Willis
"My mother was a car and we lost her in a terrible space rotary accident." - Suzanne Palmer
"I have a hard time watching Star Wars. Those poor stormtroopers. Did they all volunteer?" - James Patrick Kelly
"How do you write time travel stories? With a manual typewriter." - Joe Haldeman
"You can put whatever you want in a burrito. This is a free country." - John Scalzi
30 October 2020
More Quotes from Writers
To think about—
"When I'm not doing anything else, I'm writing — and I don't like to do anything else." Isaac Asimov
"Many people hear voices when no one is there. Some of them are called 'mad' and are shut up in rooms where they stare at the walls all day. Others are called 'writers' and they do pretty much the same thing." — Ray Bradbury
"You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you." — Ray Bradbury
"Readers tend to skip through novels but they won't skip dialogue." — Elmore Leonard
"Characters are much more important to me in my book than plot." — Elmore Leonard
"The artist is of no importance. Only what he creates if important, since there is nothing new to be said." — William Faulkner
"An artist is a creature driven by demons. He don't know why they choose him and he's usually too busy to wonder why." — William Faulkner
"The first duty of a novelist is to entertain. It is a moral duty. People who read your books are sick, sad, traveling, in the hospital waiting room while someone is dying. Books are written by the alone for the alone." — Donna Tartt
"A writer is someone for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people." — Thomas Mann
"Authors like cats because they are such quiet, lovable, wise creatures, and cats like authors for the same reasons." — Robertson Davies
"Writers should read, read, read." — Paul McCartney
"I'll read my books and I'll drink coffee and I'll listen to music, and I'll bolt the door." J. D. Salinger
"Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass." — Anton Chekhov (maybe be paraphrasing what he said, but it sounds spot on)
"Creativity is an all-together personal thing. It's an art that cannot be taught, normally." — Rod Serling
"A book is the only place in which you can examine a fragile thought without breaking it, or explore an explosive idea without fear it will go off in your face. It is one of the few havens remaining where a man's mind can get both provocation and privacy." — Edward P. Morgan
"The only reason for being a professional writer is that you just can't help it." — Leo Rosten
"The historian records, but the novelist creates." — E. M. Forster
"For a brief time I was here, and for a brief time, I mattered." — Harlan Ellison
That's all for now.
www.oneildenoux.com
01 May 2019
Lefty Propaganda
Nervous panelist in the Green Room, striving for wisdom. |
As always, if anyone feels I misquoted them I would be happy to correct it. If you would prefer to deny being there at all, I take all major credit cards.
Regrettably, all the context for these comments were lost in a tragic canoeing accident. (Turns out moose can't paddle. Who knew?) Okay: wisdom commencing.
"This novel is set in San Diego. There's a lot of beer in it." - Lisa Brackmann
"I think everyone in Scotland is funny. I just moved to California so I could get paid for it."- Catriona McPherson
"I can't possibly write something serious, because I don't want to read it." -E.J. Copperman
"A first draft is crap by definition." -Laurie R. King
"I avoid people as much as possible." - Timothy Hallinan
"I picked Mumbai as a setting the way you would pick a lover." -Sujata Massey
"I had a great time writing it because I got to do a lot of research into the Texas taco scene." -Meg Gardiner
"Don't the spaceships always land in Pittsburgh?" - S.J. Rozan
"What could be more noir than Iowa?" -Priscilla Paton
"I wrote a book that many dozens of people read." - G.M. Malliet
"I once got into an argument with George Clooney about Janet Jackson's breasts." - Kellye Garrett
"The way I know that I really love a book is I lose time in it." - Chantelle Aimée Osman
"If you write novellas, write science fiction." - Kate Thornton
"This is actually true. I got it off the internet." - Ovidia Yu
"It's not particularly funny if someone is behind you with a gun. But if the gun has a hair trigger and the guy has the hiccups...." -Timothy Hallinan
"I have my thought back." - Judy Penz Sheluk
"I don't want to love your book as much as you do because if I do I'll be blind to what needs to be changed." - Chantelle Aimée Osman
"The subject of furry novels is a thing." - Lisa Alber
"Me and God talk. We go way back." - Laurie R. King
"Hit the spellcheck button. My fifth grader can find it." -Stacy Robinson
"If you get in the 150,000 word range, go do something else for a while." - Kate Thornton
"You never had a blog critic or a Kirkus review like a defense lawyer whose client you're sending to prison." -James L'Etoile
"When you call a police officer and say you want to research guns, you have to preface it in a certain way." - Judy Penz Sheluk
"I call myself a book therapist." - Zoe Quinton
"Our experiences are all of our senses." - Elena Hartwell
"I'm delighted to still be living in a country that puts a U in humour." - D.J. Wiseman
"There are a lot worse things to believe in than God." -Suzanne M. Wolfe
"Most of the criminals I work with don't read." -James L'Etoile
"I can bang a short story out in eighteen months." - Kate Thornton
"If you're writing about someplace you don't live, make the protagonist a visitor." - Elena Hartwell
"When I started writing police procedurals I found it was very therapeutic, because you can kill your boss." -Robin Burcell
"Then an auditor dies under mysterious circumstances, the best circumstances to die under." -John Billheimer
"If you have someone speaking in an accent in a mystery, call it literary." - Kate Thornton
"I studied comparative religion, which made sense because I am comparatively religious." -Laurie R. King
"One thing I love about writing about small towns is that I can legitimately have cell phones not work." - Elena Hartwell
"You can do research forever, because you don't have to write while you're doing research." - S.J. Rozan
"I lived in England for five years and I did not want to leave. I was not forced to leave, I might add." -G.M. Malliet
"I was so good at living in California I could have moved to Portland." - Catriona McPherson
"It is really funny to go in a bar with six cops, because they're always going to want their backs to the wall, and there aren't that many walls." - R.T. Lawton
"The only thing better than holding a book is holding a book with your name on it." - Kate Thornton
"You have to be willing to give me your darling and know I will slash it to ribbons." - Stacy Robinson
"I'm exactly like my hero except she's young, tall, and has hands big enough to hold a gun right." - T.K. Thorne
"After every first draft the flame goes out." -James L'Etoile
"You see those people wearing shirts that say I Love New York and it tells you they are not from New York." -Vinnie Hansen
"I'm a psychotherapist. I heal by day and kill by night." - Bryan Robinson
"A short story needs to have one point and your reader needs to get it right through the heart." - Kate Thornton
"Morris dancing is next, right after the sex." - Jeffrey Siger
"I think there probably is humor in heaven, or earth wouldn't look like this." - Ovidia Yu
"I have the right to remain silent." - R.T. Lawton
03 April 2019
To Catch A Map Thief
And here are the answers to the movie quotations quiz from last time.
POPCORN PROVERBS 4
Remember you're old. - Warren Lipka (Evan Peters) American Animals
You said to me this is a family secret, and you gave it up to me, boom just like that. You spill the secret family recipe today, maybe you spill a little something about me tomorrow, hm? -Whitey Bulger (Johnny Depp) Black Mass
-Aren't you worried?
-Would it help? -James Donovan (Tom Hanks) / Rudolph Abel (Mark Rylance) Bridge of Spies
When they send for you, you go in alive, you come out dead, and it's your best friend that does it. -Lefty (Al Pacino) Donnie Brasco
-You can't give back what you've taken from me.
-OK, then... Plan B, why don't we just kill each other? -Sean Archer (Nicholas Cage)/ Castor Troy (John Travolta) Face/Off
-I didn't kill my wife!
-I don't care! -Dr. Richard Kimble (Harrison Ford / Samuel Gerard (Tommy Lee Jones The Fugitive
-In this family, we do not solve our problems by hitting people!
-No, in this family, we shoot them! - Tom Stall (Viggo Mortensen) / Jack Stall (Ashton Holmes) A History of Violence
The competitor is our friend and the customer is our enemy. - Mark Whitacre (Matt Damon) The Informant!
How did you ever rob a bank? When you robbed banks, did you forget where your car was then too? No wonder you went to jail. -Melanie (Brigit Finda) Jackie Brown
It takes more than a few firecrackers to kill Danny Greene! - Danny Greene (Ray Stevenson ) Kill the Irishman
Men would pay $200 for me, and here you are turning down a freebie. You could get a perfectly good dishwasher for that. -Bree Daniel (Jane Fonda) Klute
A man abandoned his family and wrote his son a story. He wouldn't be the first to cloak his cowardice in a flag of sacrifice. -Sherlock Holmes (Ian McKellen) Mr. Holmes
You can add Sebastian's name to my list of playmates. - Alicia (Ingrid Bergman) Notorious
-There's a ninety-five pound Chinese man with a hundred sixty million dollars behind this door.
-Let's get him out. - Danny (George Clooney) / Linus (Matt Damon) Ocean's Eleven
We should all be clowns, Milly. -Jim Wormold (Alec Guinness) Our Man in Havana
You get four guys all fighting over who's gonna be Mr. Black, but they don't know each other, so nobody wants to back down. No way. I pick. You're Mr. Pink. Be thankful you're not Mr. Yellow. -Joe (Lawrence Tierney) Reservoir Dogs
- I am a moral outcast.
- Well, it's always nice to meet a writer. -Dante (Klaus Maria Brandauer) / Barley Scott Blair (Sean Connery) The Russia House
Frank, let's face it. Who can trust a cop who don't take money? -Tom Keough (Jack Kehoe) Serpico
-Looks like trouble. -Looks like Christmas. -Nancy Callahan (Jessica Alba) / Marv (Mickey Rourke) Sin City 2: A Dame to Die For
If it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a village to abuse one. -Mitchell Garabedian (Stanley Tucci) Spotlight
-Not everyone loves us, Rex. -Save the punditry for someone whose paid to have an opinion.
-I'm cool with censorship, I know the American people love that.
20 December 2017
Canadian Comments
Driven mad by/at Bouchercon 2017 |
I have provided a collection for your enlightenment. If I quote you and you think I got it wrong (or just want to deny everything) let me know and I will be happy to make the correction.
Regrettably, the customs officials at the border confiscated the context for all these quotations, so you are on your own in that regard. Here goes.
"Welcome to our country. We don't have any crime here." - Cathy Ace
"I had to cut 65,000 words before I could start editing." - Robin Yocum
"When you are carrying a gun you act differently." - Jeff Siger
"I was a hermit so bathing was optional." - Donna Andrews
"If you want to write you sit down and write. There's no plumber's block." - Alan Orloff
"Howard Engel invented the softboiled private eye." - Peter Robinson
"If there are stories you love, read them out loud." - Angel Luis Colón
"You can't write a thriller very effectively in England because you just go round and round." - Steph Broadribb
"It's not the ideal year to be the American Guest of Honour, but we do what we can." - Megan Abbott
"A lot of people ask if I alienate readers by putting social issues in my books. I say, that depends on whether you consider being Black a social issue. I just consider it my skin." - Danny Gardner
"I think of this as the fourth book in the Promise Falls trilogy, which suggests I can't count or don't understand the concept." - Linwood Barclay
"Welcome to the fashion faux paus hour. Next up we have some bracelets from Indonesia." - Gary Phillips
"In a short story the destination is the destination." - James Lincoln Warren
"For all this to happen is like cooking dinner for your family and getting the James Beard Award. It does not compute." -Joe Ide
"In Scotland we have an unarmed police force. Well, no firearms. Just batons and sarcasm." - Caro Ramsay
"We're professional failures and amateur successes." - Angel Luis Colón
"I don' t like to write in public." - Gary Phillips
"I'm confused. My detective doesn't carry a handbag." - Brian Thiem
"Give your reader a reason to want to know what you're telling them." - Janet Hutchings
"There is no healing without humor." - Jess Lourey
"I grew up telling stories because I'm half Irish. You could not come to the dinner table without a story." - Twist Phelan
"Instead of being Encyclopedia Brown I was Encyclopedia Black." -Danny Gardner
"I'm having lunch with my editor. I love saying that." -Robert Lopresti
"I'm going to write a book of English erotica. It's called Fifty Shades of Beige." - Zoe Sharp
"No pressure. It's just our careers." - Hank Phillippi Ryan
"When I was a girl my parents felt I experienced things too intently, so they got me to read The Personal Recollections of Joan of Arc, so I would find out what happens to girls who experience life too intently." - Sarah Paretsky
"I am an author and a lawyer, which is like a black belt in lying." - Reese Hirsch
"IQ is Sherlock in the hood. Thank you for your time." - Joe Ide
"They changed all my H-O-N-O-R-S to H-O-N-O-U-R-S." - David Maganya
"There is subtle humour in War and Peace, but it's Russian humor, so we don't get it." -Donna Andrews
"I like it that if there are two things you don't want to do, you can choose which one you want to do least." - Jess Lourey
"I want to write a book called Water Finds A Way. It's a manual for plumbers." -Karin Salvalaggio
"When you're standing in line to get local currency and the man in front of you thanks the ATM he's not odd, he's Canadian." -Twist Phelan
"The idea of a story is that you tell a series of lies that tell some kind of truth." - Johnny Shaw
04 June 2016
Crime (and Other) Scenes
by John Floyd
As a result of that discussion, I have compiled some of my favorite and most memorable movie scenes, categorized to make a long list seem a little shorter. I've added some quotes too, now and then, and--not that it matters--I have splatted an asterisk beside my personal "best" scene in each group of ten, and explained why I like it so much. By the way, even though many of my female writer friends often accuse me of preferring "guy" plots, you'll see that not all of these scenes I've chosen are from mysteries/thrillers/shoot-'em-ups. (I'm not totally enlightened yet, but I'm making headway.)
Anyhow, here are my picks.
Best openings (in no particular order):
Rear Window
Jaws
Escape From New York -- "Once you go in, you don't come out."
High Noon
Romancing the Stone -- "That was the end of Grogan . . ."
*Goldfinger
Raising Arizona -- "Y'all without sin can cast the first stone."
The Natural
Cat People (1982 version)
The Ballad of Cable Hogue -- "Ain't had no water since yesterday, Lord. Gettin' a little thirsty."
*I think the Goldfinger opening works in two ways. The pre-titles "teaser" is a mini-story in itself, which introduces the main character and shows him carrying out a successful mission, talking it over with a colleague, having a liaison with a double-crossing lover, and dispatching a killer. ("Shocking. Positively shocking.") Then comes the second part: a great opening-credits sequence, probably the best of the Bond series, with title song by Shirley Bassey.
Best action scenes:
Bullitt -- San Francisco car chase
From Russia With Love -- fight on the Orient Express
*Raiders of the Lost Ark -- opening
Ben-Hur -- chariot race
Dances With Wolves -- buffalo hunt
The French Connection -- car/train chase
The Revenant -- bear attack
Aliens -- ending
Titanic -- sinking
The Road Warrior -- tanker chase
*I once read a review that said there's more action packed into the first ten minutes of Raiders than in most full-length features. It contains a good line, too: "Throw me the idol, I throw you the whip." (Sure he will . . .)
Most emotional scenes (for me, at least):
Shane -- ending ("Goodbye, Little Joe.")
Old Yeller -- death scene
To Kill a Mockingbird -- ending ("Hey, Boo.")
Camelot -- Lancelot saving the jouster
The Graduate -- Ben, at the wedding
Up -- death of Carl's wife
Somersby -- the hanging
The Green Mile -- John Coffey's execution
*Dumbo -- his mother cradling him with her trunk, through the bars of her cage
The Abyss -- Virgil's dive to defuse the bomb ("Knew this was one-way ticket.")
*Strangely enough, Ali McGraw croaking at the end of Love Story affects me not one bit, but I can't even think about that Dumbo scene without getting a tear in my eye. And yes, I'm wondering a little about my priorities.
Best music scenes (not counting musicals):
Superman -- flying with Lois ("Can You Read My Mind?")
Star Wars -- the throne room
The Big Country -- opening credits
Deliverance -- porch-swing banjo/guitar duet
Peggy Sue Got Married -- coming home, seeing her mother and sister
Rocky -- training/running the steps
Top Gun -- opening credits
*The Big Lebowski -- dream sequence
Flashdance -- audition
The Man From Snowy River -- taming the colt
*You wouldn't think a scene featuring a Saddam Hussein lookalike, a bowling alley, a woman with a horned Viking helmet, and Dude Lebowski in a toolbelt would be my favorite music-video-within-a-movie ever, but it is. If I recall, he just dropped in to see what condition his condition was in.
Most suspenseful scenes:
Stand by Me -- boys on the train trestle
Blood Simple -- ending
The Flight of the Phoenix (1965) -- starting the engine
*Wait Until Dark -- attack in the apartment
The Deer Hunter -- Russian roulette
The Birds -- arrival of the birds on the jungle-gym
No Country for Old Men -- coin toss at the gas station
The Godfather -- Michael shooting McCluskey and Sollozzo
The Silence of the Lambs -- night-vision in the basement
Reservoir Dogs -- Michael Madsen scene, in the garage ("Fire Is Scary.")
*I first saw Wait Until Dark in college. I thought then--and I still do--that the lights-out, cat-and-mouse battle between Audrey Hepburn and Alan Arkin was the most riveting thing I'd ever seen. If this one doesn't scare you, and make you root for the heroine, nothing will.
Funniest scenes:
Airplane! -- "Oh, stewardess--I speak jive."
Raising Arizona -- "Son, you got a panty on your head."
Hot Shots, Part Deux -- rescuing the colonel from jail cell
Liar, Liar -- lawyer being honest with lady in the elevator
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels -- "May I go to the bathroom first?"
Me, Myself, and Irene -- baby-feeding scene, on bench
*Blazing Saddles -- campfire symphony
My Big Fat Greek Wedding -- headphone cord scene
Rustler's Rhapsody -- "Got a match?"
Ferris Bueller's Day Off -- Mr. Rooney and Ferris's sister
*I first saw the campfire scene from BS (probably a good alternate title for the movie) in a theater in L.A. in 1974, and I still remember that it brought the house down. NOTE: Please understand that all these favorites are sort of "guilty-pleasure" funny--the kind of things that made me laugh until it hurt. If you want intelligent funny, watch an episode of Cheers, Frasier, M*A*S*H, Newhart, Seinfeld, etc.
Best endings:
A Fistful of Dollars -- "Load up and shoot."
*Signs
The Shawshank Redemption
The Searchers -- "Let's go home, Debbie."
The Black Stallion
Die Hard
The Last Sunset -- "Primroses."
Dead Poets Society -- "O Captain, my Captain."
Cool Hand Luke -- montage
An Officer and a Gentleman -- "Way to go, Paula. Way to go."
*The odd thing about the last fifteen minutes of Signs is that most of my writer/reader/moviegoer friends don't even like the movie. But I think that scene is a great example of tying up half a dozen threads of foreshadowing into a powerful and satisfying conclusion. ("Swing away, Merrill.")
Best surprise endings:
The Sixth Sense
Presumed Innocent
Fight Club
Chinatown -- "She's my sister and my daughter."
Primal Fear -- "We're a great team, you and me."
The Village
Planet of the Apes
Body Heat
The Thomas Crown Affair (1968)
*The Usual Suspects -- "And just like that . . . he's gone."
*The two-part conclusion of The Usual Suspects (the first part in the office, the second out on the sidewalk) still gives me goosebumps. In addition to the twist, it includes one of my favorite movie lines: "The best trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist."
Best scenes, period:
Apocalypse Now -- helicopter attack
Psycho -- the root cellar
Saving Private Ryan -- storming Omaha Beach
Witness -- bad guys walking downhill toward the farm
It's a Wonderful Life -- ending ("Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings.")
*Once Upon a Time in the West -- opening ("Looks like we're one horse shy.")
Pulp Fiction -- quoting Ezekiel
Twelve Angry Men -- the "same knife" scene ("I'm just saying a coincidence is possible.")
Casablanca -- Ilsa, at the piano ("Play it, Sam.")
True Romance -- "Sicilian" scene ("Tell me--before I do some damage you won't walk away from.")
*I think everything about that first long scene at the train station in Once Upon a Time in the West is cinematic perfection: the creaky windmill, the facial expressions, the humor, the music, the lighting, the way the protagonist is introduced, the steady buildup of tension to an explosive climax. It's another of those "mini-stories" I mentioned earlier--and my favorite movie scene of all time (not just in the West).
Other scenes that I liked a lot: the arrival of Omar Sharif in Lawrence of Arabia; shooting the bucket in Quigley Down Under; the first sight of the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park; the two "Do I feel lucky?" scenes in Dirty Harry; the final shootout in L.A. Confidential; the "Is it you?" scene in Somewhere in Time; the death of Oddjob in Goldfinger; the openings of Cliffhanger, The Shining, Midnight Cowboy, and The Magnificent Seven; and the endings of Rudy, M*A*S*H, Brassed Off, Hombre, Breathless (1983), The Cider House Rules, Carousel, Forrest Gump, Back to the Future, Bonnie and Clyde, Cat Ballou, and A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum.
Okay, so I got a little carried away--and remember, all these choices should be preceded by "In my opinion only."
What think you, about all this? Any agreements, or disagreements? Any favorite scenes, or favorite lines of dialogue in scenes? If so, goody goody. If not, I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog too.
Now, I wish we could chat longer, but I'm having an old friend for dinner.
Anybody up for a toga party?