04 June 2014

The Harshest Critics

by Robert Lopresti

Even writers with a home on the range occasionally hear a discouraging word.  Besides the rejection slips and the bad reviews (if you are lucky enough to get reviewed) there are the kind and smiling souls who ask "Do you write under your own name (because I have never heard of you)?"

There may be some comfort in knowing that even the giants occasionally drink from the sour end of the punch bowl.  Here are a few genuine comments about the works of major authors, remarks which somehow never wound up as blurbs on their books.  I will list the names of the critics in the comments.





"Fit only for incineration."



Star Trap



"As a plot, it's absolutely hopeless."



"A piece of tripe."
Double Indemnity
Lost Gallows

"Pretty poor stuff."




"No action, no likable characters, no anything."
high window
X esquire



"An appallingly bad book."




"That rotten book."
big four
spy who loved me


"The experiment has obviously gone very much awry."




"I don't like any part
of the Goddam thing."
Lame Canary
retreat from oblivion


"It was nothing, and the same applies to most of the sixteen others since then."








"Just a naked grab for money"

Grisham Firm
filmi filmi inspector ghote



"Too Crude."





"This one doesn't satisfy me by a long shot."
galton case
Jugger


"A terrible book."








"Terribly bad."

detling murders

10 comments:

Robert Lopresti said...

As some of you may have deduced, each of these comments comes from the author of the book in question.

Fran Rizer said...

Rob, thanks for stating the source of the comments. My deductive powers are nonexistent this AM, but I really enjoyed this blog.

An off-subject comment:

I received my copy of Ficta Fabula yesterday and was impressed that Darlene Poier is still able to put out a mag with no ads. It's like a mini-anthology, and I'm proud to once again appear among Darlene's Pages of Stories.

Janice Law said...

A great and timely collection.
Even some acceptances are grim. I remember one of mine from Hale, a UK, house that was condescending to say the least.
My favorite negative acceptance, however, is for one of the great Eric Ambler's- the publisher took it, saying that it was " a better grade of rubbish"

Robert Lopresti said...

Janice, someone should compile a collection of left-handed compliments like that one. TO early-readers, sorry that the first illustration didn't load properly. I have substituted another which I hope will play nicely.

DoolinDalton said...

Rob- it's good to know that I'm not alone in disliking some of my earlier work.;)

Many Thanks!

Brian

Leigh Lundin said...

It brings one back to earth.

CarolynJenkins said...

For my work..."Some".

Inside joke only L.Lundin would know.

Anonymous said...

My favourite bad review ends "Tonstant Weader fwowed up". But it wasn't by the author. I believe that the same reviewer commented on a different book by the same author " . . . You must have read my Daddy's books. I hope he burns in hell."

Anonymous said...

My favourite bad review ends "Tonstant Weader fwowed up". But it wasn't by the author. I believe that the same reviewer commented on a different book by the same author " . . . You must have read my Daddy's books. I hope he burns in hell."

Zeke Hoskin said...

May I add a negative review of the commenting software?